


Everyday Miracles

by MissIdash



Series: Everyday Miracles [1]
Category: SHINee, Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe, Children, Eunhae are twins, Family, Family of Choice, Fluff, HanChul - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Ryeowook is a toddler, kangteuk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 59,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7513412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissIdash/pseuds/MissIdash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can a broken family be mended again?</p><p>Can the broken trust of innocent children be restored again?</p><p>Can a stranger turn the everyday life of a family upside down?</p><p>Can he somehow be the missing puzzle piece that keeps the family together?</p><p> </p><p>Join this family on a journey filled with the smallest miracles of life, the ones we do not always notice, the ones that put a smile on the face of those who do. The simple <i>everyday miracles</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Getting to Know You

**Author's Note:**

> This is already on AFF. I am currently editing, so the chapters I put up here are newly edited. I will update the story on AFF in full when I have edited all chapters.

Leeteuk was currently looking through the job section of the paper, sipping his coffee while tapping his pen on the block of paper he had placed to his right. As it was, his current employer had plans of marriage within the month, meaning that she would become a stay-at-home mum while her new husband would work, making a live-in nanny unnecessary. Though he had had a good time with this family, loving the two girls he had looked after, he found that he looked forward to a new challenge. There were quite a lot of ads in the job section, some more interesting than others, but one in particular caught his interest.

__

_ Full time nanny M/F _

_Full time nanny for four kids needed. Live-in position. Generous pay and good facilities at nanny's disposal such as home gym and car. Has to have previous experience. Contract for at least a year, preferably longer._

 

"Hmm, sounds interesting," Leeteuk mumbled to himself while scribbling down the contact information; he preferred long term positions as it gave him a better chance to establish a relationship with the children he took care of, rather than only taking care of the children a month or two. He figured that he might as well give it a try and send an application.

 

 

 

"How may I help you?" A static voice filtered through the speaker system at the front gate a few seconds after Leeteuk had pressed the button. It had taken him a bit to get over the grandness of the house and gather enough courage to actually make his presence known.

"I'm here for an interview with Mr. Kim," Leeteuk informed and smiled up at where he thought the camera was, hoping that it wasn’t one of those cameras that made the middle of your face larger than the rest.

"Oh, about the nanny position?" Leeteuk nodded. "Cool! Let me buzz you in!" the enthusiastic reply came and a buzzing sound was heard as the gates opened.

As Leeteuk made his way up to the house, the front door was opened revealing a man who looked quite young. Too young to have four kids, Leeteuk thought as he studied the smiling man. His eyes had disappeared when the smile appeared on his face and his cheeks were chubby, making him look like some kind of cross between a chipmunk and a fat baby.

"Mr. Kim?" he asked as he reached his hand out in front of him to greet the male.

"Oh, no no, I am Henry, his personal assistant!" he chirped happily. "Mr. Kim just has some things he needed to finish before he is ready for the interview, so he asked me to excuse him and take you to the library to wait for him there. He has read the application you sent and checked all your papers and he seemed rather pleased, though," the man happily chatted as he began to lead Leeteuk into the huge house.

Leeteuk was a bit awestruck with the grandeur of the house, if he was being honest. Even though it was big and luxurious there was an air of emptiness over it. It didn't quite feel like a _home_ and Leeteuk couldn't help but wonder how it was for the kids to grow up in an environment such as this. The house had two floors and he was led up a large staircase. He noted that there were baby gates both at the top and the bottom and smiled; this showed responsibility from the parents’ side which was always a good sign. After having walked down a rather spacious hallway with doors on both sides, some open and presenting what clearly looked to be children’s rooms, he was led into a rather large room with bookshelves covering all three walls while the last wall was almost entirely made of glass and had a door leading out to a balcony where there was a splendid view of the garden behind the house.

"If you will just wait here, I am sure it won't be long before Kangin is done," the chipmunk-like male instructed. Leeteuk frowned in question.

"Kangin?" he asked. He was sure the name in the ad had been Kim Youngwoon unless he was very much mistaken.

"Oh, that's a nickname he has gained over the years. He can be rather... strong when dealing with the company and such, so someone named him Kangin and that just kind of stuck with him, I guess," Henry explained, giving a half-bow before making his way out of the room and leaving Leeteuk to inspect the many books.

He had always loved to read and his secret fantasy since he was a kid had been to get a library that was like Belle's in ‘Beauty and the Beast’, and though this was not at all at that scale, it was still closer to his fantasy than anything else he had ever seen, outside of the one in the castle he had visited when he had been in England. He wandered around, looking at the many titles, feeling the overwhelming desire to take any one of them and go to the comfortable sofa chair that stood near the window and start reading. However, his thoughts were soon interrupted by a loud wail, and before he had time to even think he sat out to find the source of the sound. He re-entered the hallway and found a door on the other side slightly ajar, the sobbing and whimpering clearly coming from that room. He pushed the door open and was met with the sight of a chubby toddler with tears streaming down his fat cheeks. Without thinking, he hurried over to the toddler and crouched down.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” he asked with a soft voice so as not to scare the small boy. The boy stopped wailing to look at the stranger in front of him but he continued whimpering.

“Hae and Hyuk took Kiki!” the toddler sniffled with a quivering lower lip before starting all over with the wailing again. Though Leeteuk didn’t know any of the said persons (or objects) he was quick to scoop the toddler up into his arms and balance him on his hip.

“Don’t cry, darling,” he cooed as he stroked the soft baby hair away from the toddler’s face and gently dried away his tears.

“Do you want to read a book until Hae and Hyuk come back?” he asked, having noticed the small bookshelf in the corner filled with children’s books. The toddler nodded warily, sniffing once before he rested his head on Leeteuk’s shoulder and started sucking on his thumb.  _Well, he certainly isn’t afraid of strangers,_  Leeteuk thought before going over to the bookshelf. “Is there a special book you want to read?” he asked and the toddler’s eyes lit up.

“Weed aliphant?” he asked shyly. Leeteuk nodded and picked up the first book he spotted with an elephant on the cover. Luckily it seemed to be the one the toddler had meant as his eyes lit up in joy and he clapped his small hands together in enthusiasm. Leeteuk smiled and sat down on the floor with his back against the wall, rearranging the toddler so it was more comfortable for the both of them.

“Can you tell me your name?” Leeteuk asked since he had no idea what the toddler was called. He received a huge smile in response to the question.

“Wookie!” the boy chirped happily and snuggled closer to his new found friend. He only hoped that this friend would stay longer than the last one.

“I’m Teukie,” Leeteuk introduced, unable to stop smiling at the boy’s actions before turning to the first page of the book, reading aloud for the toddler.

As he made his way through the pages of the book he noticed two heads peeking into the room; he was pretty certain that these were the infamous Hae and Hyuk Wookie had been talking about. However, he decided that it was best to let them come to him instead of scaring them by suddenly turning his attention to them. He heard them whisper to each other before they finally made an entrance. He looked up from the book at the same time as Wookie.

“Well, hello,” he greeted with a friendly smile. “Who might you two be?” he asked and the boys immediately seemed to gain quite a lot of energy from the attention. They were bouncing over to the stranger and their little brother before introducing themselves.

“I’m Hae!” one of them exclaimed, a brown mop of messy hair on his head.

“And I’m Hyuk!” the other chirped with a huge gummy smile, revealing a missing front tooth.

“Oh, so you were the ones who took Kiki from Wookie?” Leeteuk said with a gentle but still stern voice. The boys suddenly looked down in shame and Hae nodded quietly.

“We just wanted to play with her,” Hae said in a sad tone, fidgeting with his hands.

“Well, if you go get her and give her back to Wookie again then you can choose the next book we read, how about that?” he suggested and the boys eagerly agreed, running out of the room to get said plushie (at least Leeteuk assumed it was a plushie by now) and bring it back to their brother. Wookie seemed content with the way things had developed, but also tired from the excitement. He yawned as he snuggled even closer to Leeteuk, trying to keep his eyes open, but he was fighting a losing battle it seemed. Leeteuk smiled at the young boy and started humming a soft tune. The toddler was soon fast asleep, one hand clutching the fabric of Leeteuk’s shirt.

“Wookie seems to like you,” a deep voice came from the door.

Leeteuk jumped slightly in surprise and then quickly checked that he hadn’t woken up said toddler with his start before turning his attention to the door. The man standing there was tall and rather muscular. He had friendly eyes and he was smiling slightly at the sight of his son sleeping peacefully for what seemed like the first time in months. He was clad in a deep blue suit and despite his friendly demeanour he had a no-nonsense air around him. He had heard Leeteuk’s dealing with the twins and seen how he acted with Wookie after the twins left.

“I’m sorry, I was going to wait in the library but he started crying and before I thought about it I was in here and talking to him to calm him down. I’m sorry,” Leeteuk apologised, knowing that he might very well have overstepped some boundaries by entering the nursery before he had been introduced to the father. The taller man chuckled, shaking his head as he stepped into the room, sitting down in front of him. “We can go to the library, I, I guess I just need to tuck him in first,” Leeteuk said, before making to stand up.

Kangin hurriedly stopped him, waving his arms to get him to abort the motion. “No, please sit! It’s the first time in months he’s been sleeping peacefully,” he said, sounding worn out at the very thought. He rubbed his temples before looking Leeteuk over, analysing him. Leeteuk sat back against the wall and held the toddler tighter. The toddler remained peacefully sleeping, as if nothing had happened. “I’m Youngwoon by the way, but you can call me Kangin. So, what happened that had him crying? Was it the twins again?” he asked.

Leeteuk nodded. “Yes, apparently Hae and Hyuk took Kiki,” he replied and Kangin smiled gently to himself.

“Donghae and Hyukjae,” he informed with a smile. “And this little guy is Ryeowook although we all call him Wookie,” he said as he nodded towards the toddler. “Siwon is probably reading somewhere. He is the oldest. He is eight,” he continued and Leeteuk couldn’t help but smile at the weird situation. He had never been interviewed for a job before while sitting on the floor with a sleeping toddler on his front. The house seemed to be nothing like the family; the family reflected a lot more warmth.

The door burst open again and Donghae and Hyukjae came running in, Hyukjae with a stuffed giraffe in his hand, held victoriously up over his head. Kangin caught the two boys in a bear hug, seemingly without any effort despite still being seated on the floor.

“You two little monsters! I told you not to bother Wookie, didn’t I?” he scolded gently. The twins nodded, both with pouted lips, and handed over the giraffe to Leeteuk who took it and placed it beside Ryeowook. “Look, appa needs to talk about some adult stuff with Jungsoo-“

“Leeteuk,” Leeteuk interrupted hurriedly. “But you can call me Teukie,” he added with a nervous smile.

Kangin didn’t seem angry at all about the interruption. “Appa needs to talk to Teukie so I need you to go to your room or the play room and play for a while, okay?” he said. The twins nodded and skipped out of the room, already talking about what they were going to play with while the adults talked. Kangin smiled fondly after them.

“They seem to have a lot of energy,” Leeteuk commented with a smile.

“Oh, they do!” Kangin agreed before turning serious again. “Well, they are six, what can you expect?” he continued with a shrug of his shoulder. “Ryeowook just turned two, by the way,” he then added as an afterthought.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but why hasn’t he been sleeping well?” Leeteuk asked somewhat curious. He had a degree in childcare and it was not really normal for children that age to have problems sleeping for months, as Kangin had said.

“Well, the past six months have been… turbulent to say the least,” Kangin admitted with a dark expression. He then sighed deeply. “Six months ago my ex-wife decided to run off with my gardener. I haven’t heard from her since she called to tell me that she was gone and that I should tell the kids that she still loved them. The kids didn’t exactly respond very well to that. Siwon has become very introvert and he mostly keeps to his books. The twins are as mischievous as ever and do whatever they can to get attention, but it’s also affected them individually in different ways. And Wookie has had troubles sleeping and has become very clingy whenever I have time to spend with them. I have tried my very best to be there for them and create some sort of stability, but I simply can’t be two persons,” he sighed, sounding both sad and regretful. It was very apparent to Leeteuk that this man only wanted the best for his kids. “I have tried four other nannies but none of them have been able to actually handle the kids. They all have different ways of showing that the whole situation affects them but it has shown the most in Wookie so far,” he finished with worry written clearly on his face.

“I noticed,” Leeteuk replied softly. “He seemed too comfortable about strangers entering his life,” he explained when Kangin lifted his brow to ask how. The man looked somewhat impressed at the answer; perhaps he hadn’t expected a stranger to be this perceptive when it came to his children.

“I read through your papers and your education in child-care couldn’t be better. I like you and the kids you have met clearly do as well. And to be honest with you, those three are the ones who are going to be causing most of the troubles you may find in taking care of them from day to day. Siwon never causes any problems. So if they have not scared you off completely, is this a job you would consider?” Kangin asked sounding rather hopeful. He decided that he would double the salary he was going to propose if Leeteuk seemed hesitant to take the job. He knew what was good for his kids and, unlike the previous nannies, this man seemed extremely competent from the get-go in handling the kids, and the kids, in turn, seemed to respect him a lot already. He had a feeling that this man was exactly what his kids needed to get back into a safe and stable everyday life again, and he was going to do everything he could to get the man to agree.

“No,” Leeteuk said and Kangin’s face fell at the very clear refusal. “I will not consider it, I will accept it,” Leeteuk continued with a smile and Kangin could have tackled the man in a hug if it weren’t for the sleeping toddler and the fact that they had only just met. Leeteuk had not even heard anything about the pay, the working hours, his duties, anything. He had accepted the job purely based on the kids and Kangin immediately decided to triple the salary just because of that.


	2. A Special Interview

"You do know that the normal salary, even when there are four kids, is about 1/3 of what you just offered?" Leeteuk asked incredulously while staring at the man in front of him as if he was completely insane.

Kangin chuckled in amusement. "Yes, I know," he offered with a small smile. He felt extremely happy to get the fact that Leeteuk was not greedy for the money confirmed. He hadn’t thought so, but it was nice to know for certain that the man’s main objective was to take care of the children, not to earn money.

"You don't expect me to do anything illegal on the side, do you?" Leeteuk asked warily, not sure what to do if that was the case.

Kangin burst out laughing at Leeteuk's worried expression. "No, I don't," he chuckled once his laughter had died off a little. "I am convinced that you are what my family needs. I cannot provide it by myself, but I am willing to pay the person who can generously. I want the best for all my kids and no amount of money is too big to make sure that they are healthy and happy. You have only been here for a little over an hour and you have already gotten the twins to listen to you without any objections and you made Wookie so comfortable that he fell asleep without trouble." He gestured to the still soundly asleep toddler on Leeteuk's front. "You have worked wonders already and I am ready to go down on my knees and beg if that is necessary to make you stay," he finished in a serious tone.

Leeteuk was sure he had never met a person so dedicated to his family. He felt very lucky that he had found this family and he would be more than happy to work for this man but there was something... Something he needed to confess that might very well lose him the job he had just been offered. "There is something I should tell you. I'm gay. Most people are not comfortable with that and I understand completely if you want to withdraw your offer," Leeteuk said, voice a little subdued and disappointed, already preparing to remove the sleeping toddler and leave the house.

Kangin seemed totally unfazed by the confession; he even smiled. "That is completely fine by me. Henry is gay too. When his boyfriend, Kyuhyun, comes to pick him up every once in a while they act like horny teenagers," he laughed. "Seriously though, I don't mind at all. I admire you for telling me upfront but that won’t be an issue," Kangin pointed out with a sincere smile. Leeteuk drew a breath in relief. 

“So, I guess I should tell you some of the basics now, since the little bunny is sleeping which makes a house tour a bit difficult,” Kangin chuckled. A second later his smile was gone and he looked horrified. “Oh my God, I haven’t even asked you if it was okay that he slept on you, I was just so happy he finally got some peaceful sleep, I am so sorry, I-“ he started to say frantically.

Now it was Leeteuk’s turn to chuckle. “I don’t mind the slightest,” he admitted with a sincere smile. “I find it very relaxing actually. Besides, if it’s comforting for him I don’t want to take that away from him,” he continued and Kangin relaxed visibly and sat back comfortably.

“I’m sorry. When it comes to my kids I guess I can be a bit blind sometimes,” he mumbled sheepishly and Leeteuk laughed out loud.

“What parent isn’t?” he asked and Kangin smiled back at him, relieved that the other understood. “Is there anything you would like to know about me, any questions, weird habits or anything?” Leeteuk then asked, figuring that he might as well tell about himself before he heard more about the family. He already felt a burning desire to work here, so he figured that he would rather want a possible rejection before he heard more about the family and fell more in love with them.

“Well, you can tell me why you chose your education and occupation if you want to?” Kangin inquired, genuinely interested. Nannies were usually female so a male applicant - and a male applicant with this kind of educational background at that -, was a bit of a treasure to find.

Leeteuk seemed to blush slightly. “Well… It kind of has to do with me being gay,” he started hesitantly. He was urged on by an encouraging smile from the listening male. “I have always wanted to have a family and kids of my own. It has always been my dream, but when I was in high school and realised that I liked boys instead of girls, that dream seemed to shatter in front of my eyes. I spent quite some time being depressed about that until I decided that even if I could not have my own family I could still be around kids every day and be a parental figure even just for a while. It just seemed like the best choice when I considered the options,” he finished.

Kangin looked deep in thought for a little while before speaking up again. “Couldn’t you adopt, though?” he asked with a small frown.

“If I lived in somewhere in the West, maybe. I did some research already back then; gay couples can rarely adopt here and especially not a single gay man. Society is just not ready for that,” Leeteuk observed with a shrug even though he was talking about one of the biggest let downs he had ever had in his life. He had kind of come to terms with it even though it had taken a long time to accept that society didn’t see him as being fit to raise a child. 

Kangin gave him a sad, understanding smile. “I see. It is quite unfair, really. My best friend is gay too and he and his partner immigrated to the US just to be able to adopt. They stayed there for some years and came back here again after they got Sungmin, Wookie’s playmate. They also have Yesung, an older boy a little younger than Siwon. Maybe that would be a possibility for you?” he asked, hoping to be able to help the man fulfil his dream in some way. It was strange; they had just met after all, but he already felt comfortable around the male and he wanted the best for him.

“Maybe,” Leeteuk agreed with a smiled. “But not for the next year, at the least,” he reminded Kangin, his smile widening as he turned the conversation back to the real reason they were sitting in a nursery and talking.

“Oh, that’s right, I was supposed to tell you something about us and our lives! I am such a blabbermouth sometimes,” Kangin exclaimed, making them both laugh. “Anyway, as you know, there are four kids. Siwon will start second grade after the holiday and the twins will start first grade, so actually you will be spending most of your time with Wookie. He has some playmates and you can get admission tickets to whatever you want to keep him entertained. There is a train museum downtown that he really liked when we went there on a family trip. There are parks and playgrounds in the area, which I will, of course, show you, where you can also play around and have fun. You will, of course, also have a car so you can drive if you want to,” he informed but stopped when Leeteuk blushed furiously and looked a bit ashamed. “What’s the matter? You don’t have a driver’s license?” he asked, though he was sure Leeteuk’s papers had said that he did.

“I do, but truth be told I am a terrible driver.” Leeteuk cringed at the truth of his own words. To be honest it was a miracle that he was still alive after last time he had driven a car. Let’s just say that the car ended up getting some nice….. patterns down the side of it, which his employer did not appreciate in the least. “I would rather not put Wookie in danger by driving around with him,” he confessed sheepishly and Kangin couldn’t help the roar of laughter that bubbled through him at the uncomfortable faces Leeteuk was making.

“That is no problem, we will just get you multi-ride tickets for the buses and the trains,” he insisted with a huge grin. “He has a nice stroller anyway and fresh air is healthy.” 

Leeteuk visibly relaxed again, not even having noticed that he had tensed up. His driving was a delicate matter to discuss and he was very happy that Kangin was so accommodating.

Kangin just smiled at him. “He goes down for a nap around noon and should sleep between two to three hours depending on how tired he is, though the last couple of months his sleeping has been very irregular. In that time you can do whatever you want. If you want to do some laundry it would be greatly appreciated but I do have a cleaning lady who comes twice a week and takes care of laundry and cleaning so you are free to focus on the kids rather than leaving them alone to do other chores. I am not completely sure about the kids’ schedules for school yet, since they don’t send them out until later in the holiday, but I would guess they would need to be picked up at the bus stop just down the road at about three pm depending on after-school clubs and so on. Wookie should be up at that time by himself but you might have to wake him up some days. Then some homework help, general playtime and then dinner. I should be home to eat with you guys most days, but sometimes it gets late at the office. I will take care of bathing and bedtime unless you want to help with that,” he stopped, trying to think of anything else that was important to tell Leeteuk. “I would like to stress the fact that neither I nor the kids will see you as a hired help. You will be regarded as a family member and you are free to do whatever you want in your time off whether it be joining us or doing something by yourself.” 

Leeteuk couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout his body. He knew, he just  _knew_  that this was the perfect job for him and he could barely wait to start. “Do any of them have any allergies or special needs I should know about?” he asked as the toddler on his stomach and chest began to stir with a soft gurgling sound.

“Nope, no allergies. The twins haven’t been very good at handling sugar recently though; they go completely berserk and jump off the walls, so I would go easy on the sugar with those two if I were you, at least until we know if it’s an actual issue,” he chuckled as Ryeowook opened his eyes and surveyed his surroundings.

The toddler looked at the giraffe in front of him and his face split into a bright smile. He peeked up at Leeteuk with a smile that could surely compete with the brightness of the sun. “Teukie!” he squealed and started waving Kiki the giraffe in front of Leeteuk’s face. “Wookie got Kiki!” he yelled. Leeteuk smiled and nodded at the toddler while Kangin laughed in the background.  “Appa!” he then squealed as he noticed his appa in the room. He started wiggling to get down and ran on wobbly legs to his appa who easily caught him in a hug.

“Hi there, my little bunny. Did you sleep well?” Kangin asked the toddler who was now standing on his knees and trying to bounce up and down while Kangin held his hands to support him.

“Wookie sleep! Wookie like Teukie!” the toddler yelled rather loudly as he continued his bouncing adventure and squealed in glee when Kangin suddenly lifted him high in the air so the young boy felt like he was flying.

“Indoor voice, Wook. You like Teukie?” Kangin asked with a grin as he sat Ryeowook carefully down on his lap again.

The toddler nodded enthusiastically. “We keep Teukie?” he asked with huge, serious eyes as he looked up at Kangin.

Both Kangin and Leeteuk started laughing. “Yes,” Kangin said while laughing. “We’ll keep Teukie. He is going to spend every day with you from now on,” Kangin informed and Ryeowook squealed in joy once again.

Leeteuk couldn’t help but notice that the kid seemed to be a very happy one despite his sleeping problems. He smiled widely, sure that all the adorable toddler needed was a clearly established everyday life and an adult to rely on when his appa couldn’t be around. His attention was brought to the door when he heard another squeal from over there and saw the twins almost stumble over each other as they ran into the room, followed by a slightly older boy.  _This must be Siwon,_  he thought.

“Is he really staying?” Donghae yelled at his appa as he and Hyukjae danced around him. Siwon stood to the side and just watched the scene quietly, eyes observant.

“Yes, he is,” Kangin confirmed as Ryeowook wiggled around his lap in an attempt to follow his dancing brothers with his eyes. That’s when he noticed Siwon.

“Wonnie!” he exclaimed and waved the giraffe once again. “Kiki kiss!” he demanded and his big brother’s face lit with in a small smile. 

These days it seemed like only the baby of the family could make the oldest boy smile for real. Kangin smiled sadly as he saw Siwon make his way to Ryeowook and kiss first the giraffe and then the little nose of the toddler which had him squealing with peals of happy laughter. He really hoped that Leeteuk could somehow work his magic on his oldest son as well.

“Siwon, this is Leeteuk. He’s your new nanny,” he introduced the male to his son.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Siwon. I hear you like to read,” Leeteuk inquired and the young boy nodded shyly. “Are you reading any good books at the moment?” he then asked.

Siwon looked slightly taken aback that someone was actually interested in what he was reading. “I am reading Harry Potter number 3,” he admitted shyly, his eyes cast down on the floor.

“Really?” Leeteuk asked, making sure to show his enthusiasm. “Have you read all of the books?” The boy nodded. “So have I. I love them! Number three is actually my favourite of them all,” Leeteuk told the boy with a huge smile. The boy seemed even more surprised by the fact that an adult had read the books and liked them. “Which one is your favourite?” Leeteuk asked and Siwon’s face lit up in excitement.

“Number four! I like the tournament and the dragons and everything!” he narrated with an enthusiasm he had rarely shown anyone or anything in the past 6 months. 

Kangin and the twins looked at Siwon and Leeteuk with stunned faces as the two discussed details from the books. Ryeowook sat on Kangin’s lap and played with Kiki without paying any real attention to anything else. Kangin saw how Siwon laughed and frowned during the conversation with Leeteuk, depending on what the topic was and he felt his heart burst with happiness. Somehow this stranger had known exactly what to do to coax Siwon out of the shell he had built for himself over the past half year. Even though he fell back to his old silent self when Kangin suggested that they took a tour of the house, Kangin saw a new glow in Siwon’s eyes and he knew that he had made the perfect choice in Leeteuk. There was no doubt in his mind that Leeteuk was going to change things for the better for his family, and he thanked whatever higher power there was for sending him this angel without wings to help get his family back on track again.


	3. On Level

The house turned out to have several rooms dedicated solely to one purpose. There were the children’s rooms, of course, Kangin’s room, and the room that would be Leeteuk’s. Leeteuk almost fell over when he saw the room intended for him. It was huge, with an enormous bed and everything was kept in light beige or white. To top that off, there was a huge glass door, which let in a lot of natural light, leading out to a balcony overlooking the garden. There was an en-suite bathroom with a tub and a shower and Leeteuk had to fight very hard to not jump up and down in excitement. The room seemed so welcoming and the colours were so  _him_  and he couldn’t wait to move in. There was a TV-room, the office, the library, a dining room that Kangin said was never really used these days, a play room, and of course, a living room filled with toys and general mess that had made its way over there from the play room. Leeteuk already felt at home.

“Siwon, can you play with your brothers while I show Leeteuk the basement?” Kangin asked and the oldest boy nodded. Kangin gestured to a locked door and opened it. “We have a pool, so I always keep the door locked so the kids don’t go down there unsupervised,” he explained as he made his way down a surprisingly broad staircase considering where it led. It didn’t seem like the staircase to a basement at all, but more like a normal staircase. However, the basement didn’t really give of a basement-feeling either, other than the fact that all the windows were higher up than normally to let some natural light in. They made their way to a room on the left which held a selection of training equipment including a treadmill and a spinning bike. On one of the walls was a TV.

“I don’t really use this room a lot, I like the pool more,” Kangin admitted. “My ex-wife insisted that we made this room. But the other nannies seemed happy enough about the possibility to go down here and sweat for a bit,” he pondered before pointing at the TV. “She had some high-tech-thingy made so the TV only works when you are on the bike or the treadmill. It’s actually very smart,” he explained as an afterthought and Leeteuk nodded. “You can use this room all you want,” he then informed with a smile before closing the door again and going to the right instead. In there was a rather large pool that Leeteuk would guess took up the rest of the space in the basement. “You can also use the pool as much as you want to. I enjoy going for a morning swim whenever time and kids allow me, but they usually enjoy waking up even earlier than me so I have been swimming in the evenings instead when the kids are asleep and either Henry or the nanny can keep an ear on them. It’s like therapy for me,” he admitted as he looked longingly at the water. It had been a long time since he had last had a chance to swim, since everything had been extremely stressful, both at home and at work recently. He needed to go for a swim again soon, that usually helped calm the stress down.

“I like to swim as well,” Leeteuk said. “Though I actually like spending time under water more than swimming since I am not that great at the actual swimming part,” he added with a small laugh and Kangin smiled back.

“Oh, and that door over there is a sauna. If you ever feel like using it you just have to turn on the switch on the outside before you go swimming and then it is ready for you in 10 minutes,” he explained as he pointed at a door in the far end of the room. Leeteuk smiled and nodded before they made their way up the stairs again. “So do you have any last questions or anything?”

“When can I start?” Leeteuk asked with a smile, making Kangin chuckle.

“You can start tomorrow if that suits you?” Kangin replied, not quite able to conceal the hope in his voice. He was stretched thin and with every passing day he was getting more and more worried about his sons; they needed more stability than he could currently give them. Leeteuk seemed like he would be able to provide a much needed breath of air that would help not only the children but also Kangin himself.

“That sounds perfect,” Leeteuk responded with a huge smile as he exited the staircase and looked around while Kangin locked the door again. The kids had not bombed the house while they were gone, but as soon as they made their way up the staircase Leeteuk was attacked by a mop of brown hair that flung itself at him. He only just managed to catch the boy now clinging to his middle before he fell down, his small arms not really strong enough to carry his weight yet.

“Teukie, will you read a book for me?” the boy asked. Before Leeteuk had time to answer, Hyukjae came running towards him at high speed, making him realise that it was Donghae who was clinging to him.

“Me too!” Hyukjae yelled before jumping on Leeteuk as well. Leeteuk plopped down on his behind and laughed as the two twins moved up and clung to his neck instead, almost making him fall backwards so he was lying on the floor instead of sitting.

“Me two!” came a tiny yell as Ryeowook waddled over to them as quickly as his little legs could carry him. Leeteuk made sure to catch him as well, resulting in him now being covered in kids. The feeling warmed him and he felt extremely happy.

“Yes, of course I will, but I cannot read a book here on the floor, now can I?” he asked with happiness bubbling in his voice. The twins slid down and quickly made their way to the bookshelf by their toy box. Once they had agreed on a book they made their way to the sofa and climbed onto it to sit down. Ryeowook, on the other hand, took the chance to cling to Leeteuk even more now that his brothers were out of the way. Leeteuk quickly decided that there was no harm in carrying the small boy to the sofa. He sat down with Ryeowook on his lap and a twin on each side, accepting the book Hyukjae handed him and opening it onto the first page. Just as he was about to start reading the book aloud, he noticed the boy in the door frame, who stood and shuffled awkwardly while looking at them, not really knowing what to do.

“Hey, Siwon, you want to listen too?” Leeteuk asked with a small smile.

Siwon again looked taken aback at being noticed. “It’s alright, there is no more room,” he replied, trying to sound like it wasn’t a big deal, even though it kind of was. He truly wanted to be a part of the reading as well, but all the previous nannies had not really paid him any attention or tried to include him in the activities because they believed he should be able to activate himself, being the oldest. Over time he had begun to feel like an outsider in the family, finding it easier to pull away by himself, rather than wait to be pushed away.

“We can scoot!” the twins immediately offered. Before Siwon could reply, Hyukjae had climbed down from the sofa only to climb up on the other side of Leeteuk so he and Donghae sat side by side. Siwon still looked like he wasn’t sure he was truly welcome, so Leeteuk padded the now free space beside him.

“Come on, there is always room for you too,” he urged gently, having an idea of what the boy was going through. It was very normal that the oldest child in a group of siblings would be asked to be more mature than they really should be for their age, even though it mostly happened unconsciously on both the adult’s and the child’s sides.

“Wonnie weed wif Wookie!” the toddler demanded from Leeteuk’s lap, and that seemed to be the final argument to convince Siwon that he was welcome to join them; the boy made his way to the sofa and gingerly sat down beside Leeteuk. Leeteuk smiled at him before he began reading the story about a little frog who was so terribly naughty that it always got scolded by everyone.

Kangin had been standing close by and watched the whole exchange, thinking that he wanted to observe the new nanny interact more with his kids since that was really what it was all about. He was deeply impressed that Leeteuk once again had observed something he himself had failed to notice. He hadn’t noticed the longing look in Siwon’s eyes before Leeteuk had drawn his attention to the boy. He felt so happy and truly grateful, and he had no second thoughts about leaving the man with his kids while he went to the kitchen to prepare some lunch for them. When Kangin came back from the kitchen to tell them that lunch was ready, all of his children were snuggled up to Leeteuk as he read yet another book to them. Even Siwon had his head resting on the adult’s arm as he looked at the pictures in the book, deeply fascinated despite the fact that the book was more Ryeowook’s level of entertainment than his. Kangin couldn’t help but take out his phone and take a picture of the scene which none of the inhabitants of the sofa noticed as they were deeply immersed in the story of the book that seemed to include an elephant in a helicopter, flying with a hippo hanging underneath it. He waited until Leeteuk closed the book to break the little bubble of story reading. “I’ve made lunch,” he informed with a smile. The three oldest children got off the sofa without further prompting, seemingly all hungry. Ryeowook wouldn’t let go of Leeteuk, though, even when the adult stood up as well.

“I think I need to get home soon,” Leeteuk said which was met with three disappointed faces and a loud wail from the toddler.

“Appa say we keep Teukie!” the toddler wailed as he clung to Leeteuk’s shirt as tightly as his small hands could. Kangin hurried over to them and tried to take Wookie from Leeteuk, but the toddler wouldn’t let go and only cried louder at the effort.

“Teukie will stay with us, Wookie. He will come again tomorrow and then he will stay,” Kangin tried to explain the wailing toddler without panicking. Up until now, it had been a close to perfect day, but now the stress and weariness seemed to seep right back into his bones with full force.

Leeteuk, however, seemed to have an idea of how to tackle it. He sat down on the sofa again and rearranged the boy so he could look at his face. “I would love to stay, Wookie, but I don’t have Onew with me,” he told the toddler in a confidential tone.

The toddler looked up at him quizzically and sniffled, fat tears rolling down his even fatter cheeks. “Who Onew?” he asked, curiosity shining through the tears.

“Onew is my teddy!” Leeteuk explained with great animation. “He is like Kiki, I can’t sleep if I don’t have Onew. He is my best friend, just like Kiki is your best friend.” 

The toddler’s mouth formed a perfect O as he seemed to understand. The twins, Siwon and Kangin all looked at Leeteuk as well, Kangin in deep awe at how the man seemed to go down to the toddler’s level so naturally.

“Teukie get Onew,” the toddler then allowed with newfound determination and a stoic expression on his face, figuring that he would be very sad if he couldn’t sleep with Kiki and he didn’t want Teukie to be sad, so it was probably best if he went and got Onew. “Teukie pwomise pway Wookie mowow?” he then asked with huge eyes.

Leeteuk had a very serious expression as he nodded. “I promise to come and play with you tomorrow. Then Onew and Kiki can play together as well,” he suggested and the toddler’s face broke into a huge smile. The twins whooped and Siwon smiled, all three happy that their brother was happy while Kangin still stood completely dumbfounded. That man was surely magical or something like that. He pulled himself together and went to Leeteuk so he could get Ryeowook.

“Let’s go get you some lunch, bunny. Then Teukie can go home and pack his things so he is ready to move in with us tomorrow,” he said and the toddler nodded before stretching his arms out to his appa. He took the toddler and placed him on his hip and Ryeowook immediately snuggled closer to him.

“We’ll follow you out,” he decided with a small smile. His words immediately started a race between the twins to get to the front door first. Once they reached the door Leeteuk put his shoes back on before crouching down to hug all the kids one by one, before stroking Ryeowook’s cheek gently as he was still being carried by his father.

“See you tomorrow,” he promised with a bright smile.


	4. Joining the Pack

Leeteuk arrived at the Kim-house at 1pm the next day with two trolleys and a teddy stuffed under his left arm. He pressed the buzzer at the gate once again.

“Leeteuk! Come in!” Henry, the chipmunk-like assistant chirped on the other end before there was a small beep and the gates opened while Leeteuk chuckled lightly. He walked up to the door, dragging the two trolleys, where Henry waited for him with a huge smile. “Let me help you with these,” he offered as he took one of the trolleys. Just as they entered the house, Kangin came down the stairs to join them.

“Here, let me take those,” he said and took the bags from a pouting Henry.

Leeteuk just smiled. “Where are the kids?” he asked while ascending the stairs; the house seemed very quiet compared to yesterday.

“Wookie is sleeping, Siwon is reading, and the twins are in the garden,” Kangin informed as he opened the door to Leeteuk’s new room. He placed the trolleys against the wall. “I’ll just show you the linen and towel closet, it’s just down the hall,” he offered with a smile and motioned for Leeteuk to follow him. “You just take what you need, when you need it,” he instructed as he opened the closet and showed Leeteuk where everything was. “I will let you unpack and when you are done you can just come downstairs. I’ll be in the kitchen,” he informed and led Leeteuk back to his room. “Oh, by the way, I hope you don’t mind that I speak informally to you,” he added a bit sheepish. “It’s just that the kids get confused when they call you one thing and I call you another. Plus, I want you to feel comfortable and at home here.”

“It’s fine,” Leeteuk said, sending a smile back. He didn’t mind at all; in fact, it made him feel welcome and already part of the family. He gave Kangin a nod before going into the room to unpack. He unzipped the first trolley, revealing most of his clothes, and began to separate the trousers from the shirts, and the underwear from the socks and so on as he placed it in the chest of drawers he assumed was for his clothes. He decided to open the doors to the balcony to let in some fresh air before unpacking the second trolley. In the garden, between the neatly cut bushes, he saw two tops of hair running around and guessed that he had found the twins. He smiled to himself and went back to the second trolley which was considerably smaller than the first. It contained books, various little figurines, one picture, and other small things. The picture showed Leeteuk sitting with his back against another male’s chest under a big tree. He cringed as he saw it and decided to hide it under his socks as far back in the drawer as possible. He had only kept that picture as a reminder that things were not always what they seemed. When he deemed that he was as organised as he could be, he made his way down to the kitchen, bringing the teddy with him so he could show it to Ryeowook when the toddler woke up. He found Kangin typing away on a computer in the big kitchen. Apart from the kitchen-part of the room, there was a dining table and a sofa set following the curve of the room as the long room was rounded in that end with windows all around providing a nice view of the garden, almost like a very large bay window.

“All settled?” Kangin asked as he looked up from his computer. Leeteuk nodded. “Want a cup of coffee?” he offered, stretching his arms above his head until his back gave a little pop and he groaned in satisfaction.

“Yes, please,” Leeteuk answered gratefully. He actually felt a bit tired since he had had troubles falling asleep the night before, being extremely elated and very excited about this job and how it would all work out.

Kangin stood up to turn the coffee maker on as Leeteuk placed the teddy he had brought down with him on the kitchen isle. “I was just finishing a business contract,” he explained as he pointed back towards the computer. “Luckily I have been able to work from home since the last nanny left, but I am kind of needed at the office and it is rather stressful to work from home. I always end up staying up way too late to finish whatever I didn’t do during the day because I was playing with the boys instead,” he admitted with a small smile before sighing. “I really hope that we can create a consistent and stable everyday life for them. It would be better for all of us,” he said as he poured the coffee into a mug and handed it to Leeteuk.

“I am sure that things will be easier once I am familiar with you all. It’s easier when there are two pairs of hands. I can imagine how stressful the last couple of months have been for you,” Leeteuk sympathised before taking a sip of the coffee. “I admire that you keep trying to do what you think is best for you kids, though. I know a lot of people who would just have given up by now.”

“Well, I love my kids more than anything,” Kangin remarked while looking out the window to where Donghae and Hyukjae were playing around with a football. “All the sleep I have lost, all the business deals that have gone down the drain, it’s all worth it if I can give my kids the best possible safety net and a good foundation in life,” he declared as he turned his gaze to Leeteuk. He normally didn’t mind talking about himself or his kids, but Leeteuk made him feel even more comfortable than usual.

“Kangin, some papers just arrived from ELF inc. that you need to look at,” Henry informed as he entered the room with the papers. He looked a bit flushed and dishevelled and seemed to be panting slightly.

“Thank you, Henry,” Kangin said and took the papers with a knowing smile. “Now go home with that boyfriend of yours, I don’t want you taking away my kids’ innocence by doing naughty things in my hallway,” he remarked playfully and Henry blushed even more. Leeteuk figured that it meant Henry’s boyfriend was here to pick him up.

“Bye Leeteuk, see you tomorrow,” the younger man said before eagerly making his way to the hallway where Leeteuk heard another male voice greet him.

“When I go back to work, Henry will not come here as often. He has really been gold while all of this madness has been going on. He has never once complained about coming here instead of to the office and he has helped with the kids occasionally as well. I would have gone completely insane if he hadn’t been there to make sure I didn’t,” Kangin told Leeteuk fondly as he looked after his personal assistant.

“He seems like a very nice guy,” Leeteuk agreed. “He seems extremely happy all the time, though,” he added as an afterthought.

“Yeah, he does have a lot of positive energy; sometimes it’s exhausting, to be honest,” Kangin laughed, just as the twins entered the kitchen through the door leading out to the garden.

“Teukie!” they shouted and ran to the male. He only just managed to put his coffee mug down on the counter and push it to safety before there was a twin attached to each of his sides. 

“You came!” Donghae shouted.

“Yes, of course I did, I promised, didn’t I?” he asked with a huge smile. He noticed Hyukjae’s face turning sad.

“Adults don’t always keep what they promise,” he mumbled, looking down at the floor with a sad expression.

Leeteuk looked over to Kangin for an explanation.  _Umma_  Kangin mouthed and Leeteuk understood. He disentangled the boys’ arms around his legs and crouched down to their level. “I would really love to see some of your toys,” he said with a gentle smile. “Will you show me?”

The twins nodded before taking one of his hands each and dragging him into the playroom. He soon found himself building a huge Lego tower as per instruction of the twins.

“You need to put a red block there,” Donghae directed.

“No, it should be blue!” Hyukjae then yelled and took a blue block to place it where he thought it should be.

“No, it should be red!” Donghae cried as he lifted his hand with the block in and hit Hyukjae in the back. The other twin let out a loud scream before he began crying.

“Donghae, you do not hit other people,” Leeteuk scolded in a serious tone. Honestly, it was very normal for children to hit each other as a way to test boundaries and get in contact with other children, but Leeteuk knew that it was important to be very firm about telling the child not to hit. It was only a matter of time before the child would hit someone who would hit back twice as hard.

Donghae looked defiant and angry but he stood still and looked to the ground. Hyukjae was still crying as Leeteuk tried to calm him down. “Shh, sweetie, it’s okay. Let me take a look at your back,” he tried to coax and lifted the boy’s shirt up. There was a long red scratch on his back, probably made by the sharp corner of the Lego block. “There’s a scratch, Hyukkie. Do you want me to blow some healing air on it?” he asked in a calm voice as the boy’s crying intensified when he was told there was actually something to see on his back.

“No, I want my appa!” he wailed.

“I can blow on it so it won’t hurt, Hyukkie. Or we can go put a band-aid on it?” Leeteuk asked, trying to handle the situation himself rather than running to Kangin on the first day there.

“I want APPA!” the crying boy bellowed.

“Okay, let’s go find your appa,” Leeteuk sighed as he stood up and took the boy’s hand. “Donghae, do you want to come?” he asked the other twin who shook his head angrily as he tried to continue building the tower, using more force than necessary to connect the blocks. Leeteuk sighed again and let the crying boy towards the kitchen. Halfway there Kangin came rushing down the stairs with a sleepy Ryeowook in his arms.

“What happened?” he asked as he looked over the crying Hyukjae to check for any injuries.

“Donghae hit him with a Lego block. He has a scratch on his back and he wanted his appa,” Leeteuk explained.

“Can you take him?” Kangin asked, making a gesture to the still half asleep Ryeowook in his arms. Leeteuk nodded and took the toddler while Kangin crouched down to his crying son.

“Let me see your back, Hyuk,” he said as he lifted the shirt. “Oh, that’s one big scratch,” he exclaimed dramatically and Hyukjae’s wails turned into sniffles. “Let’s go clean it up and then we can put a McQueen band-aid on it, okay?” The boy nodded and sniffled again as his appa lifted him up and settled him on his hip so he could carry him to the bathroom.

Leeteuk stood and looked after them with the now fully sleeping toddler wrapped in a baby blanket in his arms. He decided to go to the playroom again to check up on Donghae. “Hey, Donghae,” he greeted the boy who was still playing angrily with his blocks. Leeteuk sat down on the sofa, adjusting the toddler before addressing the boy again. “Do you want to read a book? You can pick,” Leeteuk asked and Donghae looked up in interest. Leeteuk knew that he would be reading a lot of children’s books from now on. Books were a great way for kids to learn but it was also a great way to bond with a child on the child’s premises.

“Can we read the one with the cars that Hyukkie never wants to read?” Donghae asked, a hint of hope in his pout.

“Sure, if you go find it and bring it here, we can read it,” he said with a smile. He looked down at Ryeowook and stroked his cheek. He decided not to wake the toddler, but just let him continue to sleep until he woke up by himself. 

Donghae soon came over with a rather large book. It turned out to be a Richard Scarry book about Busytown, with lots of crazy cars in it. The boy crawled up the sofa and sat down beside Leeteuk before handing him the book. Leeteuk opened it and began reading while Donghae listened, fascination clear on his face as he looked at the pictures of the weird cars and pointed out things that Leeteuk asked for with great enthusiasm. Not long after, Hyukjae and Kangin joined them in the room. When Hyukjae saw what book was being read he started tearing up again, apparently not liking it for some reason, but Kangin quickly avoided the impending meltdown by sitting down on the floor next to the boy and beginning to build with the Lego, engaging him in the engineering and thus distracting and entertaining him. When Leeteuk was done reading the book, Kangin and Hyukjae had managed to build a zoo in place of the tower, and Donghae looked at it with big eyes, sliding down from the sofa and approaching the construction a little hesitantly.

“There is something you should say to Hyuk, Donghae,” Kangin scolded sternly and Donghae looked ashamed.

“Sorry I hit you,” he mumbled in a small voice as he kept his eyes on the ground. Hyukjae took one look at his twin and ran to hug him tightly.

“It’s okay, Hae. I got a McQueen band-aid!” Hyukjae said proudly as he turned around and tried to lift his shirt up to show off his band-aid.

Donghae’s eyes widened with envy. “I want one too!” he exclaimed and looked at his appa with huge begging eyes.

Kangin sighed dramatically before pulling an identical band-aid out of his pocket with a grin. He had been prepared for this; usually the twins did everything together and wanted the same things. “Where do you want it?” Kangin asked and Donghae jumped up and down in glee.

“On my back, like Hyukkie!” he yelled, still jumping up and down.

“Well, you have to stay still, otherwise I can’t put it on you,” Kangin chuckled at the boy who immediately froze so he could get a cool band-aid as well.

When it was put on he turned to Hyukjae and lifted his shirt. “Look, I have one too now!” he yelled and Hyukjae giggled. They were soon completely engrossed in the zoo, which allowed Kangin to sit down beside Leeteuk.

“Don’t take it personally that he didn’t want you to comfort him,” Kangin said seriously. “He is just not used to you yet.”

“I know,” Leeteuk sighed. He did know, but it still hurt a bit when Hyukjae had denied his attempts to comfort him. “Wookie fell asleep again,” he then informed, gesturing to the obviously sleeping toddler on his torso.

Kangin chuckled. “You seem to have that effect on him,” he teased. “You can wake him up if you want to, he has slept for about 3 hours now,” he informed before standing up. “I have to go finish up the business deal I was working on; it is kind of important. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all, go ahead,” he said and smiled. He felt kind of sorry for the man; he looked very stressed and tired, just like yesterday. “Could you perhaps bring the teddy in here first, though?” he inquired and bit his lower lip.

Kangin chuckled. “I am guessing the teddy is Onew?” he asked and Leeteuk nodded. “I’ll go get him.” He soon came back with the teddy and handed it over to Leeteuk. “I’ll be in the kitchen if anything happens,” he informed before going to the kitchen. 


	5. Lego Zoo

“Wookie?” Leeteuk stroked the toddler’s hair, trying to wake him up as gently as possible. The twins were still happily playing with their Lego zoo on the floor, having built several little boxes for the animals and carefully grouped them together so that those who would eat each other were in their own little boxes while those who would just eat grass and leaves were put together in one big box. The toddler stirred and clutched Kiki tighter to his body, eyes screwed shut against the light of the room. “Wookie~” Leeteuk sang quietly causing the small boy to open his eyes slightly to see who was calling him. A huge yawn followed, and he let go of the giraffe with one hand to rub his big eyes before snuggling back into the warmth that Leeteuk and his blanket provided. Leeteuk couldn’t help the small chuckle that bubbled in his chest at the adorable sight. He grabbed the teddy that was lying beside him so he could keep his promise from the day before. “Wookie, Onew is here to say hi to you,” he said as he held the teddy up in front of the toddler’s face. The small boy opened his eyes again before stretching out his hand and taking the teddy from Leeteuk, bringing it back to lie beside Kiki as he snuggled into the blanket once again, closing his eyes resolutely. Leeteuk couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at the boy again. “Okay, we can cuddle for a bit,” he said and tightened his grip on the toddler before turning his attention to the two playing boys to see what they were up to. Apparently Hyukkie was explaining how they should play the game.

“…so all the monkeys ran away because they wanted the bananas that were in the llama enclosure, but then the tiger broke out of its cage and ate the giraffe!” he narrated with enthusiasm as he first moved two of the monkeys over to the llama fold where there was a palm tree with a yellow block on top, probably the bananas, and then made the Lego tiger gnaw on the Lego giraffe with loud nomming sounds.

“NO!” Ryeowook screamed, clearly having heard the conversation as he was now sitting up and looking at his brother with wide, tear-filled eyes. “No eat gwiraffe!” he yelled before breaking into tears. Donghae and Hyukjae both jumped up to go console their crying brother.

“No, Wookie, we were just playing,” Hyukjae said, trying to placate his clearly unhappy brother.

“Look, the giraffe is fine!” Donghae chimed in and held up the giraffe that had been the victim of the tiger’s imaginary hunger to prove that it hadn’t been hurt. Ryeowook looked down at the giraffe with huge eyes before holding his little chubby hand out to get it. Donghae handed it over to him without protest; after all, Ryeowook was the baby of the family and all members would go to the moon and back again if that would make the little boy happy.

“Look, Teukie, gwiraffe is fine!” the little boy said as he held the giraffe up, about an inch from Leeteuk’s eyes so he was sure the adult could see that the giraffe was indeed unharmed.

“Yes, it’s very fine,” Leeteuk smiled at the toddler as the young boy wriggled around, the blanket falling off him in the process. “What are you doing, sweetie?” he asked, wondering if perhaps Ryeowook wanted to join his brothers in their game on the floor.

Ryeowook didn’t reply at first, scooting around a little more until he grabbed the teddy Leeteuk had brought with him. “Onew,” Ryeowook said and held the teddy up to Leeteuk’s face as well.

“That’s Onew, yes. Has he said hi to Kiki yet?” Leeteuk asked with a smile. Wookie shook his head before he got a very concentrated look on his face as he tried to hold both plushies, one in each of his small hands, and led the teddy down to the stuffed giraffe.

“Kiki, this Onew,” he said solemnly, making sure to make the introductions with the proper portion of seriousness as he had seen his father do sometimes when businessmen had come to their home. “Onew, this Kiki,” he then said, carefully setting down the plushies so he could reach one of Kiki’s legs and one of Onew’s paws and make the animals shake hands in greeting.

The twins had returned to their zoo once they were sure their brother was okay and had calmed down again. Instead of playing with the animals, they were now playing some kind of tag with the blocks that included Donghae putting the blocks in a small cannon that might have belonged to a pirate ship once and then pressing the button, causing the blocks to fly out of it at high speed while Hyukjae tried to hit the flying blocks with other blocks he threw at them. Cries of glee and victory were heard every time the twins managed to make blocks collide in the air.

Ryeowook turned his attention towards the game of the flying blocks and tried to climb sideways off of Leeteuk so he could see better. He almost managed to climb so far he would have tumbled down on the sofa if Leeteuk hadn’t caught him.

Leeteuk lifted him up and sat him down on the floor, thinking that was what the boy wanted, but he received a loud, drawn-out whine as a response. “What’s wrong, Wookie?” he asked, slightly startled by the boy’s reaction.

“Wookie sit wif Teukie!” the boy sniffled and Leeteuk suddenly realised that Ryeowook hadn’t been able to see properly the way he had been seated before, straddling Leeteuk’s stomach while his back was turned to the action. Ryeowook had tried to climb down his lap so that he could climb back up with his back to Leeteuk so he could see what his brothers were doing.

Leeteuk lifted the toddler up and sat him comfortably on his lap again, this time turned the right way around, and stroked his hair. “I’m sorry, Wookie. I didn’t realise what you wanted,” he apologised.

“Bwanket,” he demanded, not caring about Leeteuk’s apology right now. Leeteuk complied and arranged the blanket nicely so Ryeowook was covered once again before taking Kiki and placing her on the small boy’s lap. His attention shifted between looking at his brothers’ antics and playing with Kiki, talking quietly to the giraffe plushie.

By now Hyukjae had picked up an ambulance toy car and was using it as a bat to hit the flying blocks, sending them flying in all kinds of directions because of the shape of the chosen bat.

“Boys, don’t do that,” Leeteuk said, seeing for his inner eye how wrong this could go since the blocks that were batted flew in random directions, making everyone in the room a possible target. The boys just sent him a cocky smirk and then continued the game as they had up until then. “Boys, I said stop,” Leeteuk repeated in a stern voice.

Hyukjae giggled but continued to try to hit the blocks Donghae sent flying via the canon with the ambulance. Leeteuk sat Ryeowook down on the sofa and strode over to the boys, taking the ambulance from Hyukjae and the cannon from Donghae without another word. Both boys yelled in protest, angry that the adult had ruined their game when they had been having so much fun. Hyukjae tried to jump up against Leeteuk’s side in an attempt to take the ambulance back but found he couldn’t reach.

“When I tell you to stop something, I want you to stop it,” Leeteuk said in a serious voice. “I don’t tell you to stop because I want to ruin your fun, but because what you are doing is potentially dangerous,” he explained and the boys pouted, clearly not believing the adult.

“But it wasn’t dangerous! It was fun!” Donghae huffed, clearly insulted by the idea of their game being dangerous.

“What if you had gotten one of the blocks Hyukjae hit in your eye? What if you hit Wookie with one of the blocks?” Leeteuk then asked seriously. The angry protest melted away from the twin’s faces to give way for realisation, quickly followed by remorse.

“Don’ hit Wookie!” Ryeowook squeaked with huge frightened eyes, hugging both Kiki and Onew close to his chest as protection from any stray blocks.

“No, we won’t hit you with anything or throw anything at you,” Donghae said hurriedly to calm down his little brother. Hyukjae nodded in agreement, repeating the promise.

Ryeowook began to scoot to the edge of the sofa to climb down but Leeteuk quickly caught him before he could fall down and hurt himself, setting him gently on the floor. The toddler wobbled over to the twins, hugging first Hyukjae’s leg and then Donghae’s before he continued over to the Lego zoo and plopped himself down on his little behind to look closer at the animals. The twins sat down on each side of him and began to introduce him to all the animals, explaining where they lived and who their friends were. It wasn’t long before Ryeowook was included in the game, all three kids deeply engrossed in making the zoo come to life.

Leeteuk watched them for a while to make sure they played nice before he got an idea. “Guys, I’ll just go see if I can find Siwon, okay?” he asked and both twins nodded to show they had heard him, though they didn’t bother turning around to ask why. He went into the hall and up the stairs to Siwon’s room, figuring that would most likely be where the oldest boy was hiding. He knocked gently on the door, entering when a ‘come in’ was heard from inside. He found Siwon sitting in a comfortable chair with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on his lap. “Hey,” he greeted and gave the boy a small smile. Siwon just nodded to acknowledge his presence, a little frown on his face as if he didn’t understand what Leeteuk was doing in his room. “I was thinking, if you want me to, I could read aloud for you in the playroom,” he suggested. Siwon opened his mouth to protest but Leeteuk cut him off. “I know you are a big boy and can read by yourself, but I just thought you might find it nice. You don’t have to say yes, of course, but I know I would enjoy it,” he continued with a smile. He felt Siwon needed some one on one adult contact more than any of the other siblings and so he tried to think of ways to get to know the oldest Kim-boy and get closer to him.

Siwon seemed to think about the offer for a little while before replying. “Don’t you have to play with my brothers?” he asked in a withdrawn voice.

Leeteuk smiled sadly at the boy. It was so common that the oldest kid had to deal with quite a lot alone just because they were the oldest. Siwon was clearly used to his brothers being prioritised over him, though he was certain Kangin would never do it consciously. He wasn’t so sure about the nannies, though. “Not right now, no,” he replied readily. “They are playing with a Lego zoo. So if you want to, I have time,” he said seriously, showing the boy that he wanted his company and that he wasn’t a burden.

Siwon looked at him for a while, gnawing on his lower lip while thinking it over. “Okay,” he finally said, allowing himself a small smile as he put the bookmark in the book and stood up to follow Leeteuk down the stairs to the playroom. 


	6. Attention

When Siwon and Leeteuk entered the playroom the twins and Ryeowook was still happily playing with the zoo. Leeteuk sat down on the sofa and motioned for Siwon to sit beside him. The boy climbed up to sit on his right side and handed the book over.

“So, where were you?” Leeteuk asked gently and Siwon pointed out where he was on the page. Leeteuk picked up from there and started to read aloud, and soon Siwon’s head was resting on Leeteuk’s arm as he listened to the new nanny read one of his favourite books.

Siwon found that he enjoyed it a lot. He _was_ a big boy and he could read by himself just fine, but since their umma had left them, it had been a general tendency that he was last in line when it came to attention from the grownups because he was the oldest. At first it had made him sad and angry, but when he began seeing the changes in his brothers he realised that they _needed_ the extra care and so he decided to keep himself entertained with his books so his brothers would be taken better care of. Deep down he was desperate to get attention as well, but he simply buried that need. But this man, their new nanny, had paid attention to him, as well as his brothers, from the beginning. Even when he had tried to keep in the background so his brothers could get the attention they craved, Leeteuk had pulled him to the front with the rest of the kids and made sure that he didn’t feel overlooked. Siwon felt the tiniest spark of hope blossom in his heart; maybe he would get more attention now. However, that hope was quickly destroyed when Ryeowook suddenly let out a loud wail and Leeteuk closed the book to go check on him.

“What’s the matter, Wookie?” Leeteuk asked as he scooped up the toddler and held him close.

“They meanies!” he cried and pointed at Donghae and Eunhyuk, who was trying to build a cage for the giraffe. Ryeowook did not want a cage for his precious giraffe, but the twins insisted that the giraffe had to have a cage like all the other animals if it stayed in the zoo. While Leeteuk tried to calm Ryeowook down again, he caught a glimpse of Siwon’s expression. The boy looked sad, angry, disappointed, which quickly melted into the same withdrawn expression he had had the first time Leeteuk met him.

Siwon felt tears sting in his eyes as he saw the scene in front of him. He knew that he could not claim all the attention for himself but this was the first time in months that he had gotten undivided attention from someone who was not Ryeowook, and his brothers just had to go and ruin it for him. He slowly let himself slip down from the sofa, the book clutched to his chest like it would bring him some semblance of comfort, and motioned to exit the room unnoticed.

“Siwon!” Leeteuk called after him, and the boy stopped without turning around. Leeteuk had a still sniffling Ryeowook on his hip as he went over to Siwon, bent down slightly and took the young boys hand. “Come with me,” he said and led the boy to the kitchen.

“Hey guys,” Kangin said with a smile when he looked up from his computer. His smile faltered when he noticed Siwon’s withdrawn expression and Ryeowook sniffling on Leeteuk’s arm.

“Kangin, I am sorry, but I need you to look after Ryeowook for just a moment while I talk to Siwon,” Leeteuk said to the man. He felt bad for interrupting his work but he hoped he would understand once he told him what had happened. Kangin nodded seriously and took Ryeowook from Leeteuk’s arms.

“What is the matter, little bunny?” he asked gently and Ryeowook began explaining, through sniffles, about the zoo, the giraffe, and the cage.

Leeteuk pulled Siwon gently with him into the living room, closing the door so it was only slightly ajar. Then he crouched down to be eye level with the eight-year-old.

“I am sorry,” he said, causing Siwon to look up in disbelief. Grownups did not usually apologise to eight-year-olds. “I know you got disappointed when I had to take care of Wookie. In that situation I just had to go to him and make sure he was okay,” Leeteuk explained, making Siwon’s heart feel heavy again.

He felt tears well up in his eyes, expecting the whole ‘You are the oldest, you have to take care of yourself’-speech he was so used to.

“It seems like I just can’t read to you when I have to look after the others as well,” Leeteuk said as he looked at the small boy.

“I understand,” Siwon said, a tear escaping his eye. He had really thought that things would change. Leeteuk pulled him into a hug, but Siwon didn’t respond to it.

“If you want me to, I would like to read to you at night, before you go to bed,” Leeteuk then said with a soft voice, causing Siwon to whip his head away from the nanny’s body. “By then I won’t have to look after the others and I can read to you without being disturbed,” he said as he smiled warmly at the disbelieving look on Siwon’s face. It was heartbreaking, really.

“Do you mean that?” Siwon asked, running his hand over his cheek to remove the tear. He couldn’t believe that an adult wanted to give him undivided attention every single day just like his brothers had gotten for so long now.

“Yes, I mean that,” Leeteuk said with a reassuring smile. “I don’t know how long we can read, it is up to your appa but-“ He was cut off by a small body throwing itself at his torso, almost causing him to lose balance and topple backwards. Siwon clung to him tightly and Leeteuk reciprocated the hug with a sad smile. “I know that you have had to be the oldest and take care of yourself for a long time,” he began quietly. “I know you have felt left out and alone and like no one loved you.”

By now Siwon was crying into his neck. He had no idea how Leeteuk knew what he had felt for so long, but it felt so nice that _someone_ finally knew.

“But I promise you that I will give you all the attention you need. You are not alone anymore,” he whispered as he held the crying boy in his arms. Siwon just clung to him, not calming down before Leeteuk began rocking gently from side to side while humming softly. He sniffled before withdrawing, allowing Leeteuk to thumb his tears away gently.

“Let me see a smile,” Leeteuk said with a soft smile of his own. Siwon smiled widely at him, showing him his dimples and straight, white teeth. “That’s a good boy,” Leeteuk said as he stood up again. “Let’s go back to the others again, okay?”

Siwon nodded, slipping his hand into Leeteuk’s as they made their way into the kitchen again. They were met by a serious looking Kangin with a still babbling Ryeowook on his arm.

“Siwon, can you take Ryeowook into the playroom while I talk to Leeteuk,” he said seriously.

Siwon looked slightly scared at the serious atmosphere, but he went to his father and took Ryeowook’s hand when Kangin sat him on the floor, leading the toddler out of the kitchen and towards the playroom while responding to his tales about giraffes with magic powers slaying all the bad pirates.

Leeteuk stood frozen on the spot, honestly a bit scared of what was going to happen now. He might have pissed off the working man so much that he was going to fire him now. All he could think of was how much he already cared for the children, and how confused they would be if they were to have a new nanny once again. As Kangin began walking towards him, Leeteuk felt the blood leave his face. He had really screwed up. He was prepared to be yelled at, to be fired, even to be hit square in the face. What he was not prepared for was Kangin throwing his arms around him and hugging him close.

“Thank you,” Kangin choked, trying desperately to hold back his tears. He had sneaked over to the door and seen the exchange between Leeteuk and his son, and he was left speechless, emotional, and filled with shame. He had not figured out what caused Siwon’s withdrawn attitude, he had just thought that it was due to his umma leaving, but now that he had heard what Leeteuk said, and seen Siwon’s reaction to the words, he realised just how much his oldest son had yearned for attention that Kangin had not had enough of to provide and the previous nannies had not thought necessary to give equally to all four children. He withdrew from the hug and looked at Leeteuk’s taken aback expression. “I’m sorry, I just…” he began, trying his hardest not to break down in all out sobbing as he tried to decide how to explain everything that went through his head.

Leeteuk only looked stunned for a second before he stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, shushing him gently while stroking his back. “It’s okay,” he said, not knowing exactly what had happened in Kangin’s head to cause this kind of reaction, but figuring that the male needed someone to take care of him as well for once.

“I am such a bad father,” Kangin cried. “I d-didn’t even know S-Siwon felt li-like that,” he choked and Leeteuk suddenly understood the situation.

He pulled away, grabbed a box of tissues standing on the kitchen table and tipped Kangin’s face up so their eyes could meet. “You are not a bad father,” Leeteuk said sternly while handing him a couple of tissues.

Kangin blew his nose in them before reaching out for more tissues which Leeteuk readily handed him. “I have t-tried so hard t-to be a good fa-father and then I-I let Siwon go around f-feeling like that for so long,” he hiccupped, trying to control his emotions again. He felt embarrassed for breaking down like this, but if he was honest with himself for just a second, he knew that it had been on the way for a long time. His wife leaving him alone with four kids had made him feel constantly inadequate because he wanted to give his sons the best in life and he simply hadn’t been able to give them all the attention and care they needed without an extra set of hands. On top of that, he had had absolutely no one to turn to during all of it. Sure, Henry had been a huge help, but he was not exactly a confidante. Heechul and Hangeng had tried to help, but Kangin hated relying on his friends, feeling like he was taking advantage of them, especially when he knew they had their own struggles.

“Look, my mum used to tell me that she felt bad from the day I was born because she knew that she could never be everything she wanted to be for me. Every parent feels that way. They want to give their child the world, but they can’t, and that’s okay. You have done everything you could, to the best of your abilities, and you have done absolutely beautifully,” Leeteuk said, causing Kangin’s eyes to well up with tears once again.

The older man had desperately needed to hear that.

Leeteuk poured a cup of hot tea into a mug from the thermos standing on the table and handed it to Kangin. “You are a great father,” he said, looking straight into his eyes as he spoke.

Kangin put down the mug to hug him once again. This time, Leeteuk was prepared and put his own arms around the older man to return the gesture. “I’m not sure what I have done to deserve having you in my family,” Kangin said.

Leeteuk smiled. “You did your very best,” he said as he pulled away. “When that is not enough, I take over,” he said teasingly, causing Kangin to chuckle lightly.

“Thank you, Jungsoo,” Kangin said earnestly. Leeteuk was surprised by the warm feeling that spread through his body when Kangin called him by his real name, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. “Really. Thank you. You are heaven sent,” he said, making Leeteuk blush.

“You are welcome,” he said.

“And I am sorry for breaking down like that, I am not usually this emotionally unstable,” Kangin said apologetically.

“It’s okay, children can pull some strings in you that you didn’t know you had,” Leeteuk replied with a smile. “I better go check on them,” he then said, hoping they hadn’t destroyed the playroom while he and their father had talked.

“I started cooking a little earlier, so it shouldn’t be too long before it’s done,” Kangin informed. “Could you send the twins in here to help set the table?” he asked, to which Leeteuk nodded.

When Leeteuk entered the playroom and noticed how the children were all playing with the zoo together now, he thought it would be a shame to split them up. He wondered if it was only the twins who set the table normally and then decided to change things up a bit. It would be nice for the kids to do something together with both him and Kangin, even though it was, strictly speaking, a chore.

“Come on guys, we are going to help your appa set the table,” he called to gain their attention, and the twins shouted enthusiastically before they raced to the kitchen. Leeteuk followed after with Siwon in one hand and Wookie on his hip, the toddler babbling about how they had played with the zoo and the giraffe had gotten a nice field instead of a cage. They all helped set the table, the twins putting plates and glasses in front of each chair while Siwon managed the cutlery and Ryeowook sat on Leeteuk’s hip, throwing napkins everywhere.

“Looooooook!” he giggled when he had thrown all six napkins onto the table. None of them was actually on top of a plate but no one seemed to care. “Wookie help!” the toddler squealed proudly.

“Yes you did, little bunny,” Kangin said as he ruffled his hair and tickled his tummy, causing him to squirm in Leeteuk’s hold as he giggled. “I am so proud of you,” he said, ruffling his hair one last time before declaring dinner to be ready. All the inhabitants around the table felt as if Leeteuk had always been there and so, this was the first night they ate together as a real family.


	7. Umma?

Over the next week, a routine slowly formed. Since it was the summer holiday the kids were home all day. Kangin had continued working from home for the first three days to make sure the transition would go smoothly; when he wasn’t working during the day they made small trips to all the different places in the area that the kids liked to visit. When school started Leeteuk would obviously spend most of his time with Ryeowook, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t bring all four kids to the playground or the park after school. He made mental notes whenever they went somewhere, noting that Ryeowook seemed to prefer the park when his brothers weren’t there, while the playground was the biggest hit when he had other kids to play with. It was a lot of information to take in in such a short time, but Leeteuk felt like he had made a decent inner map for himself and was confident that he would be able to find most of the things on his own once Kangin went back to work.  
Leeteuk made sure to keep his promise to Siwon, and spent thirty minutes each night reading aloud to the oldest boy after he had helped Kangin tuck the three younger into bed. Kangin would come in when the thirty minutes had passed, and they would tuck Siwon in together. Leeteuk had made a conscious decision to take as much part in the family as he could, much to Kangin’s gratitude. They slowly built up a routine, working together on making sure all four boys were as happy as they could be. However, Friday after Leeteuk had joined the family, a minor emergency occurred at Kangin’s office that knocked the routine off schedule.

“I am so sorry, I really hope it’s okay!” Kangin apologised again, sounding a little frantic.

Leeteuk gave him a reassuring smile at that. “It’s fine, I know how the bedtime routine goes and I really don’t mind,” he assured the older businessman. He was well aware that Kangin’s work would not always allow him to be home around bedtime, so Leeteuk didn’t mind tucking the kids in on his own.

Kangin chewed on the inside of his cheek, still looking very regretful. “I am really sorry; the office has been going crazy since I came back. You would think the whole company would go down without me,” he huffed, attempting to make a joke.

Leeteuk gave a small laugh. “Well, technically you are the CEO so...” he said in a teasing voice that made Kangin unable to hold back a chuckle too.

“Thank you, Leeteuk,” he said gratefully, turning a little so he could collect all the papers he would need to bring into the office. “They can stay up for half an hour longer because it’s Friday,” he said, closing his briefcase before walking to the front door. “Boys, I’ll be going now,” he called into the house once he had put his jacket and shoes on. It didn’t take many seconds before the twins came racing to the door to say goodbye, closely followed by Ryeowook who was dragging Siwon while trying to keep up with his two crazy brothers. Kangin crouched down and hugged all four, one after the other.

“Can you be good and listen to Teukie?” he instructed, smiling when the boys all nodded. “Remember to brush your teeth and go to sleep when Teukie says so.”

“Yes, appa,” Donghae said and hugged Kangin once again.

“Wookie kiss!” the toddler demanded and Kangin chuckled before bending down to kiss the toddler’s cheek. The toddler squealed in happiness before grabbing Kangin’s face with his small hands and placing a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek. Kangin laughed at the proud expression the toddler wore.

“Thank you, bunny,” he said as he ruffled his hair before standing up. “I should be back by ten,” he then said to Leeteuk, still with a huge smile on his lips caused by the toddler’s sloppy kiss. The boys and Leeteuk waved him off before going back to the playroom. Siwon had been reading books with Ryeowook while the twins had been drawing before. Ryeowook went right back to the book again and held it out to Siwon expectantly. The older boy smiled and sat down with his brother to go back to where they had been. Donghae and Hyukjae decided they had had enough of drawing and began putting the things away dutifully. Once it was done Donghae began building with the Lego while Hyukjae curled up next to Siwon to listen in on the story time. Leeteuk let the boys play on their own, thinking it was good for them to spend some time together without adults telling them what to do or how to do it. Time passed by fast and it wasn’t long before the clock hit bedtime.

“Come on boys, it’s bedtime,” Leeteuk said after looking at the watch. Hyukjae and Ryeowook whined for a bit, but all four kids followed Leeteuk up the stairs so they could get ready for bed. Ryeowook sat and Leeteuk’s arm, which the toddler had quickly deemed his new favourite place in the world.

“Wookie no tired,” he insisted with a wide yawn as he rubbed his eyes with his small chubby fists.

“Then you can just lie down and relax your eyes,” Leeteuk said with an amused smile as they reached the bathroom. He helped the boys get toothpaste on their toothbrushes and made sure to take control of the brush for the three younger ones when they said they were done. In Ryeowook’s case, that meant once he had smeared toothpaste froth all over his face.

“You are so good, Wookie,” Leeteuk praise as he took the brush from the toddler and began brushing his teeth. “Can you open your mouth widely like a very hungry lion?” he asked, prompting Ryeowook to open his mouth as far as his little jaws allowed. “And then out with your tongue,” he said once he had brushed his teeth. Ryeowook looked confused but stuck his tongue out anyway. When Leeteuk brushed it, he started giggling.

“Me too!” Hyukjae yelled, followed by Donghae yelling as well. Leeteuk smiled and ended the after-brushing of the twins’ teeth with a tongue-brush as well. He had learned that little trick in his last job; the kids would think it was funny and be more eager to brush their teeth to get the tongue-brush as a ‘reward’. He then took a towel and gently cleaned all the froth from the toddler’s face.

“You two go to bed, I’ll just change Wookie’s diaper and tuck him in,” he said to the twins who made their way to their room. “I’ll come in and read to you once I have tucked all your brothers in,” Leeteuk told Siwon with a smile and Siwon beamed back, happy that Leeteuk still remembered to read to him every night. Leeteuk scooped Ryeowook up again and carefully placed him on the diaper changing table, expertly changing his diaper before picking him up and going to his room, putting him in the cot. The toddler yawned again, tired from a day of funny games. Leeteuk bent down and kissed his cheek before tucking the blanket around the toddler and Kiki.

“Sleep tight, Wookie,” he said receiving no answer as the toddler had already entered dreamland. He smiled softly and made his way to the twin’s room. They were both in their beds, talking softly to each other but when Leeteuk entered the room they fell quiet. He went to Donghae’s bed first and made sure to tuck the blanket in around the usually very active boy. Though the boy was usually very talkative, even around bedtime, he was quiet now, but Leeteuk guessed that he might just be tired. He kissed his forehead and stroked his hair gently. “Goodnight Donghae, sleep tight,” he said before making his way over to Hyukjae. The smaller twin was also extremely quiet as he tucked him in. He kissed his forehead as well but didn’t get around to wishing him a good night before a small voice echoed through the room.

“Is umma ever coming back?” Hyukjae whimpered before tears began streaming down his cheeks. Leeteuk was completely stunned for a moment before he gently let his fingers brush through the brown hair. There was another little whimper from Donghae’s bed.

“Donghae, come over here,” he prompted softly. The taller twin got out of bed and padded over the floor quickly to sit down beside Leeteuk on the edge of Hyukjae’s bed. The other twin was sitting up now as well. “I don’t know if your umma will come back,” Leeteuk said, deciding that honesty would be the best approach as he wrapped an arm around each twin for comfort. Both of them pressed closer to him. “I don’t know your umma so I cannot answer that question,” he continued. “But I know that she must miss you guys. There is no way she could not miss you. You are amazing and if she doesn’t come back she is the one losing something wonderful,” he said, hoping he could help the two little boys deal with their loss.

“What?” Hyukjae asked with a sniffle and looked up at him in confusion.

“You guys,” he answered. Donghae giggled through his tears but Hyukjae just snuggled closer while still sniffling. The departure of their mother seemed to have hit the smaller twin the hardest when it came to trusting adults.

“Can’t you be our umma?” Hyukjae asked into Leeteuk’s side making the nanny smile sadly.

“Well, I am a man. But I will do my best to give you all the love and attention your umma should be giving you,” he promised. Donghae nodded before standing up and going back to his own bed.

“Goodnight Teukie,” he said with a yawn before lying down under his covers. Hyukjae, however, was still refusing to let go of Leeteuk.

“You know,” Leeteuk began softly, “I will tell you a little secret,” he said with a secretive voice. This caused Hyukjae to look up at him with huge, tear-filled eyes. “Sometimes adults can be really stupid. They can make mistakes too. But mostly they are just stupid,” he explained, finally pulling a small giggle out of the older, but smaller, twin. “Your umma is missing out on a lot and it is not because she doesn’t love you. It’s just because she is being a bit stupid, just like every other adult can be sometimes,” he said while running his fingers through the boy’s hair and Hyukjae finally nodded. He hugged Leeteuk closer before lying down again. Leeteuk stood up and tucked the blanket around him before he kissed him on the forehead again.

“Goodnight, Hyukkie. Sleep tight and have nice dreams,” he said before standing up to exit the room.

“Goodnight Teukie-umma,” the older twin mumbled, well on his way to being asleep. Leeteuk stood frozen for a while, not knowing how to react to the new title. It was not that he minded the new name the smaller twin had given him, but it came with a lot of responsibility to not let these kids down; not that he was planning to do so in any way if he could avoid it. He had only been there a week and he already loved these kids to pieces. He had no idea how he would ever be able to leave them. Perhaps Kangin would allow him to stay as their nanny until Ryeowook was all grown up, he thought, before stifling his laughter as he made his way to Siwon’s room. That was just a ridiculous thought. But he knew for sure that he would do everything he could to stay in contact with this family when he was done working here. The kids had completely stolen his heart and he was not sure he would ever be able to get it back again, which honestly suited him just fine.


	8. Pillar

Leeteuk was curled up on the sofa in the kitchen with a book he had borrowed from the library when Kangin came home. It was 10pm, so he had had about an hour to think about his conversation with the oldest twin since it happened. He looked up from the book when he heard the front door open. He could hear Kangin taking off his shoes and jacket, and soon after, the older male entered the kitchen. He smiled tiredly at the sight of Leeteuk curled up on the sofa.

“Hey. Did everything go okay?” he asked softly while massaging his left shoulder with his right hand. It had been a long evening mostly consisting of paperwork, causing his back to act out now. Leeteuk nodded and sent him a small smile but there was doubt in his eyes and Kangin got the feeling something was wrong.

“Did anything happen?” he inquired anxiously, suddenly having all kinds of thoughts about what could have gone wrong. Leeteuk slowly put his book to the side and sat up straight, contemplating how to go about this.

“When I tucked the twins in, Hyukjae asked for his umma,” he started slowly. He could see all kinds of emotions flash in Kangin’s eyes. “He began crying and Donghae started too. I wasn’t sure what to say since I don’t know your ex-wife. He asked whether she would ever come back,” he revealed as he folded his hands in his lap. He felt really bad for bringing this up seeing as Kangin already looked rather stressed out without this piece of information.

“What did you say?” Kangin asked as he put his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, trying to fight the emotions that rushed over him. He tried so hard to be what his kids needed and he felt like he came short every time. He knew that he couldn’t be their mother as well and it hurt him. He cursed their umma to hell and back again for putting their sons through this.

“I told them that I didn’t know, but that I was sure she loved them. And I told them that she was missing out on a lot because they are absolutely wonderful which seemed to be good enough for Donghae,” Leeteuk answered truthfully, standing up and moving towards the coffee machine. “You want coffee?” he asked and Kangin nodded. His eyes were still closed. “Hyukjae asked if I could be their umma,” Leeteuk then added in a soft voice. Kangin’s head snapped up and he studied Leeteuk with wide eyes filled with emotions Leeteuk couldn’t place.

“What did you... I mean, what did you tell him?” Kangin asked slowly, not sure what to feel about the situation. It was clear to him that Hyukjae had taken the blow very differently than his twin brother but he would never have expected the fragile boy to ask his nanny such a question.

“I told him that I was a man. And then I promised him to do my best to give both him and his brothers the love and attention their umma should be giving them,” he replied softly as he handed a mug of steaming coffee to the older man.

Kangin looked at Leeteuk for a while before looking down at his coffee. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I keep getting surprised at how well you communicate with all of them,” he continued, lifting the mug to his lips and slowly taking a sip.

“Hyukjae called me ‘Teukie-umma’ when I left their room, though,” Leeteuk added neutrally. Kangin froze up for a second before his shoulders slumped and he put his mug down.

“I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” the older murmured. He felt his heart breaking at his son’s desperate attempt to replace his missing mother.

“Honestly, I don’t mind, if you don’t mind either,” Leeteuk admitted softly. He could see the pain that ran through the older man’s eyes and he guessed what caused it. “Can we sit down?” he then asked and motioned for the sofa. Kangin nodded numbly and followed Leeteuk to the sofa where they sat down side by side. Leeteuk folded one of his legs under the other so he could sit sideways and face his employer.

“It is a completely normal reaction to their situation,” he began to explain, trying to help the bulkier man with his internal fights. “He misses his umma. He already has an appa and therefore the umma title goes to whoever is the closest to him after you since he is used to having one,” he continued.

Kangin sat in silence for a while. “He never asked any of the other nannies if they could be his umma,” Kangin then said, his voice choked as his emotions finally became too much to hold in, solidifying in the stray tear sliding down his cheek.

Leeteuk took his hand in his and held it tightly. “Kangin, you are doing such a great job with the boys,” he said in a soft but stern voice. “Don’t blame yourself. You have done everything you possibly could to manage them on your own and I am so proud of you for handling everything so well.”

Kangin looked up at Leeteuk with wide, tear-filled eyes, searching for the confirmation and comfort of another adult that he had needed for so long now.

“Look at your boys. None of them have issues that cannot be treated with love and care. They just need their appa to stay strong for them. And if they need a mother figure I will gladly take up that role for them. I already love them very much,” he admitted, a light blush spreading on his cheeks.

Kangin seemed to choke on a chuckle as he held Leeteuk’s hands tightly as if they were the only thing rooting him right not. “I don’t mind them calling you umma, but what will happen when you leave?” he asked in a whisper and looked down again. He had already grown used to Leeteuk’s presence and he had a very hard time imagining the family without the angelic man. If he allowed his boys to see Leeteuk as their umma, what would happen to them once the younger man’s contract ended? He already knew that if Hyukjae called Leeteuk ‘Teukie-umma’, it wouldn’t take long before Wookie picked it up too; honestly, how could he not? He had no conscious memory of his biological mother so of course it would be natural for him to assume that Leeteuk was his umma when he would be the main adult in the toddler’s life. Donghae and Siwon would not pick it up immediately, but as they grew closer to their nanny, he knew they might very well start seeing him as an umma as well.

“Honestly?” Leeteuk chuckled and Kangin looked up at the man, not comprehending what was so funny. “When Hyukjae called me Teukie-umma I seriously contemplated how to convince you to let me stay until Wookie is of age,” he laughed and Kangin couldn’t help but join in then. First of all, it seemed like they were on the exact same page, and second of all, Leeteuk’s laughter had a contagious quality that could not be denied.

“It wouldn’t take a lot of convincing,” Kangin admitted softly once they were done laughing. “If you mean it, that is,” he added, sounding like an insecure teenage boy waiting for a reply after he had confessed to his first crush.

“I know I won’t be able to find a better family anywhere,” Leeteuk replied with a soft smile. “And it’s not like I have a career I have to return to. This is my life and I would be happy to have a stable life, just as the children would. It’s tiring to move and change families and life every few years, believe it or not,” he said with a little chuckle.

Kangin smiled back at him before it faded slowly again. “What will happen when you find a boyfriend, though?” he asked hesitantly. He could not imagine Leeteuk wanting to stay when he found a boyfriend. The younger man would probably want to move in with the boyfriend and start his own family and-

“How many eligible gay men do you think I will meet in this job?” Leeteuk chuckled; Kangin’s expression was comparable to that of a lost puppy. “Anyway, I am not looking for a relationship anytime in the near future. I’ve had some bad experiences and I don’t feel like reliving them,” he shrugged, trying to suppress the shiver that made its way down his spine.

Kangin felt curiosity flood his mind but decided that he didn’t want to pry. “So you’ll stay?” he asked, hope shimmering in his brown eyes. Leeteuk nodded and smiled widely at him. Kangin drew a sigh in relief. “Thank you,” he breathed.

Leeteuk just continued smiling softly until his eyes got a serious gleam. “I don’t want to force any of them to call me umma, though. And I don’t want to replace their real umma,” he said seriously.

“There is not really any umma to replace in Wookie’s world,” Kangin muttered with a hint of bitterness in his voice, studying the younger man closely. “He will begin to call you umma as soon as he hears Hyukjae do it. The other two might take longer, but I know they will at least begin to _see_ you as their umma-figure in time. As for their real umma…” he paused, thinking about how to put it. “I doubt she will come back. Our marriage was business, not love, and it’s a miracle I managed to convince her of having four kids. She wasn’t necessarily a bad mother, but she never showed any real interest in them as it was. I will never be able to forgive her for leaving like that, though.” He could feel anger building up inside of him as he spoke of his ex-wife. Marrying her had been a huge mistake, but it had been the best mistake he had ever made, seeing as he got four beautiful sons out of it. After she left him, he had been extremely distressed about what it would mean to his boys, how they would take it, and how he could make sure they would never need anything even though their mother was missing from their lives. Up until this point in time, it had taken up a big part of his thoughts and he had felt incredibly stressed as he witnessed how his children reacted to the loss. Now, however, he felt somewhat calm and confident. He was sure that Leeteuk was the perfect teammate when it came to raising his boys and he felt like falling down on his knees to thank whatever higher power there was for sending him this angel in disguise.

“I understand,” Leeteuk nodded. He had a hard time understanding how _anyone_ could just leave the four boys. He found them absolutely wonderful. If he had had the opportunity to have kids on his own, he would have wished for boys like them.

Kangin sighed deeply. “It’s Saturday tomorrow. I called Heechul and Hangeng earlier to ask if they wanted to go to the zoo with me and the kids. You are very welcome to join if you want,” he offered as he stood up and grabbed his previously discarded mug to take another sip. “They are the gay couple I told you about,” he added with a small smile. “Wookie hasn’t seen Minnie in a while and Siwon has always been good friends with Yesung, so I was thinking we could make it a family outing, as well as introducing you to them since I am sure you will be spending a lot of time with at least Heechul and Sungmin,” he explained as Leeteuk stood up with his book under his arm and went to get his own mug to take a sip as well.

“I’d love to,” he replied, the dimple in his left cheek deepening as he smiled. “Oh, by the way, I borrowed this from the library.” He held the book up to show the older man what he meant. “I hope you don’t mind,” he added sheepishly as he put the book down on the table again. Kangin chuckled.

“Not at all. I have always wanted to have a library but now that I do, I find that I hardly have time to sit down and read, so I would be happy if _someone_ used it,” he laughed softly.

Leeteuk smiled back at him and they sat in silence for a little while as they drank the rest of their coffee.

“I was wondering…” Kangin began, causing Leeteuk to raise his gaze to the older man’s frown. “If you are not going to go to sleep yet, do you think you could listen after the kids for a short while? Just leave your door open? I’ve missed swimming and I would really like to take a little swim before going to bed tonight,” he requested sheepishly as his hand went to his neck and a slightly embarrassed expression spread on his face. Leeteuk laughed at the expression only to start coughing as he had just taken a sip of coffee. Kangin jumped up and began thumping his back to make sure he didn’t die of choking.

“That’s fine,” Leeteuk panted once he caught his breath again, smiling widely at Kangin to show that he was okay.

“Are you sure? I’ll just be half an hour,” Kangin asked again to be sure it was okay. He didn’t want to make Leeteuk feel like he was a slave or something like that.

Leeteuk chuckled, this time without choking. “I am sure. Now shoo,” he said with a shooing hand motion as he laughed at Kangin’s surprised expression before the older’s lips split into a wide grin. As they went their own way, each man thought about how lucky he had been to find the other. Kangin now had an ‘umma’ for his boys and Leeteuk had four ‘sons’. It seemed like they had both won.


	9. Nutella and approval

Leeteuk was preparing breakfast the next morning when the twins came down. Hyukjae seemed extremely shy as he approached the table but when Leeteuk gave him a big smile and a ‘good morning’ he seemed to warm up and forget his embarrassment. Donghae, on the other hand, sat down straight away and began pouring cereal into a bowl, managing to spill a good deal on the table in the process. 

“Aish, stupid cereal!” Donghae snapped, throwing his spoon across the table. He was clearly in a bad mood this morning, which made Leeteuk worry a little. He pouted angrily as Leeteuk made his way over to the table.  

“Do you need help, Hae?” he inquired softly while he stroked the younger twin’s hair gently. Donghae nodded while still scowling at the offending cereal as Leeteuk began to scoop it back into the package. “You want me to pour the milk?” he asked with a little smile as the boy was still pouting and looking generally unhappy with everything.  

“Together?” Donghae suggested as he looked up at Leeteuk. He was still angry that he had spilled and he knew the milk jug was heavy but he didn’t want to act like a baby and have Leeteuk pour it for him.  

Leeteuk smiled and helped him hold the jug so they could pour carefully. “Well done,” Leeteuk praised the younger twin as Siwon came into the room and sat down in his seat. “Good morning, Wonnie,” he greeted, which made the oldest Kim-child look up. He was not used to being called anything but his real name by anyone but Ryeowook and occasionally Yesung, but he found that he liked the endearment.  

“Morning,” he replied shyly as he reached for the cereal just like his brother had done a minute earlier. Donghae was currently shovelling cereal into his mouth while Hyukjae was applying Nutella onto a piece of bread with deep concentration. Leeteuk poured the newly brewed coffee into two mugs before sitting down at the table as well.  

“Are you all looking forward to going to the zoo?” he asked and was met with three enthusiastic replies, the previous sleepiness suddenly vanished completely.  

“We are going to the zoo?” Siwon asked, happy anticipation shining on his face. 

“I wanna see the fishies!” Donghae said excitedly and moved his lips like a fish would.  

“I wanna see the monkeys!” Hyukjae yelled to make sure he was heard over his brother’s voice. 

“Yeah, your Appa arranged to meet up with Heechul and Hangeng and their kids at the zoo,” Leeteuk explained, directed at Siwon since the twins seemed like they couldn’t care less why they were going, as long as they were. 

“I think Yesung wants to see the snakes and turtles,” Siwon replied with a little nod. Leeteuk remembered Kangin telling him that Yesung was seven years old and mostly played with Siwon since the twins often had enough in themselves.  

“Oh, I am sure he wants to see the turtles,” Kangin chuckled as he entered the kitchen with a blurry eyed Ryeowook on his arm. Once the toddler caught sight of Leeteuk, he stretched his arms out towards the male and began wriggling in his father’s arms to signal that he wanted to sit with Leeteuk rather than in his high chair like he usually did in the morning.  

“Do you mind?” Kangin asked, keeping an eye on the wriggling toddler to make sure he didn’t wriggle out of his arms and fall down.  

“Not at all,” Leeteuk answered and stretched his arms out to catch the toddler. Ryeowook snuggled closer to Leeteuk as soon as he was seated in his lap with Kiki tucked safely under his arm. Leeteuk put a hand around him, both for safety and for cuddles, while sipping his coffee with the other hand.  

“Is that for me?” Kangin nodded towards the other mug as he sat down. “Thank you,” he said gratefully and nodded with a gentle smile to show his appreciation. Meanwhile, Leeteuk was applying Nutella to a piece of bread which proved a bit difficult with only one hand.  

“Nom,” Ryeowook exclaimed as he looked at the bread. Leeteuk looked at him quizzically. “Nom!” he insisted and pointed at the bread and then at his mouth.  

“Oh, you want some?” Leeteuk chuckled when he realised what the toddler wanted and began cutting the bread into baby bites. Ryeowook nodded enthusiastically and reached for one of the small pieces Leeteuk had cut for him. He happily took the bread and began munching on it, half of the chocolate somehow ending up on his cheeks rather than in his mouth. 

“Nom,” he repeated, looking at Leeteuk with wide eyes and the nanny handed him another bite with a chuckle. It wasn't until all the little pieces of bread were gone that the toddler stopped his demands. 

“Are you more hungry?” Leeteuk asked, wanting to make sure he was indeed done. Ryeowook shook his head and made to snuggle closer to Leeteuk again. 

“No, you don’t, bunny,” Kangin said quickly and hurried to the toddler with a wrung up washcloth to remove all the breadcrumbs and the chocolate from his face to prevent Leeteuk’s shirt from suddenly turning into a modern piece of art. “There you go,” he said when he was done, running the washcloth over the toddler’s nose again in a playful manner which caused the tiny boy to giggle. “Donghae, what are you doing?” he then asked when he turned around and caught sight of one of his sons seemingly fighting with a knife and a piece of his bread.

 “I want to make a fishie,” he answered as he continued to try to cut the bread into the form of a fish.

Kangin just smiled and sat down again, used to his sons’ antics. “When I have finished my coffee we’ll get going,” Kangin said and took a sip of his mug. “Heechul will be angry if we are late.”

“Minnie!” Ryeowook exclaimed and clapped his small chubby hands together as he jumped up and down on Leeteuk’s lap.

“Yes, Minnie will be there to play with you,” Kangin smiled. Ryeowook giggled loudly at the prospect of playing with his best friend in the entire world, aside from Kiki and Leeteuk.

“Should we go get ready while you appa finishes his coffee?” Leeteuk asked and the kids answered with enthusiastic yells of excitement. It was not every day they got to go to the zoo with their appa. Leeteuk quickly gathered the plates and put them in the dishwasher while the kids scrambled out to get their shoes on. When he came out to help them, Ryeowook had managed to put both of his shoes on halfway on the wrong feet.

“Sweetie, let me help you,” he offered, smiling when the toddler pouted because he couldn’t get the shoes on properly. “You did very well, bunny,” he continued, adopting the nickname Kangin called the youngest boy. “But this shoe goes on this foot and this one goes on the other, see?” He helped the toddler get his shoes on correctly and then started searching for his jacket. Siwon stood patiently and waited by the side with his clothes already on while the twins were in the process of getting their jackets on. Kangin joined them while Leeteuk was helping Ryeowook in the jacket.

“Are we all ready to go?” he asked while putting on his shoes. The kids all yelled out their affirmation, so Kangin opened the door and let them run out the door. The property was enclosed so there was no cars or creepy people right outside the door, giving the children more freedom to play outside. Kangin went to one of the two garages, opening the garage door with a press on the key so he could walk inside and get the stroller. He parked the stroller and went to chase down Ryeowook.

“Come here, you little bunny,” he commanded in a mock threatening tone causing the toddler to squeal in laughter as he tried to run away from his appa. He was soon scooped up in Kangin’s arms and carried to the stroller, his short legs not really able to outrun him.

“Oh shoot, I forgot the diaper bag,” Kangin exclaimed once he had fastened the seatbelt in the stroller around Ryeowook’s small form and took in his work, realising the bag was missing from where it usually was under the stroller.

“I’ve got it,” Leeteuk announced, gesturing to the satchel bag that was slung over his shoulder.

“Thank you,” Kangin smiled gratefully. “Do you want to push the stroller?”

“Yeah, sure,” Leeteuk replied readily. “We are walking there, right?”

“Yes, it’s only a ten-minute walk with the boys. It will be shorter if it is only you and Wook unless of course he wants to walk on his own,” he explained. “Boys, we are going.”

Ryeowook was happily playing with Kiki while Kangin had the twins hold on to one of his hands each. They had too much energy and he didn’t want them running around while they were walking to the zoo since cars would be passing close by.

“Siwon,” Leeteuk called gently, holding out his hand for the oldest boy. He was sure Siwon could walk perfectly fine by himself but if the boy wanted to hold his hand, then he would let him. Siwon stopped up to wait until Leeteuk and Ryeowook caught up and then took Leeteuk’s hand with a blush. Leeteuk managed to steer the stroller with one hand without problems and they soon found themselves by the entrance of the zoo.

“Now where is that darn cat?” Kangin muttered under his breath as he and Leeteuk stood by a kind of playground outside the zoo. It was basically just a pile of dirt with some huge branches lying around for kids to climb all over but it was good enough for the boys. The three older kids were very attentive towards Ryeowook, making sure their baby brother was safe and wouldn’t fall down and get hurt. Leeteuk only had a second to ponder over which cat he was talking about before a voice cut through the air.

“A new one again, Kangin? You sure wear them out quickly!”

Leeteuk turned around was met by the sight of a man with very cat-like eyes, balancing a pink-clad toddler a little older than Ryeowook on his arm. Beside him was a tall man walking with an empty stroller and a young boy around Siwon’s age.

“I do not wear them out, the boys do,” Kangin huffed indignantly. The feline man chuckled as he crouched down to let the toddler down as the Kim-kids came running towards him screaming “Uncle Chullie!”

“Nonsense, my favourite nephews are angels,” Heechul said with a smirk as the twins hung around his neck, Ryeowook babbled loudly with the pink-clad toddler and Siwon was heading towards the boy beside the other stroller. Leeteuk was sure this was going to be a very interesting day.

”Leeteuk, this is Heechul and Hangeng. I have known Heechul since forever. Their oldest boy is Yesung and the small pink one talking to Wookie is Sungmin,” Kangin introduced as Leeteuk shook Heechul and Hangeng’s hands in greeting.

“Hello, new nanny!” Heechul greeted with a teasing smirk.

“Hello, old friend,” Leeteuk replied mirroring the teasing greeting with a smirk of his own.

Heechul burst out laughing at that. “I like you!” he declared loudly.

Leeteuk just smiled, and then turned his attention downwards when he felt someone tug the leg of his trousers. Ryeowook looked up at him with huge eyes, Sungmin standing beside him, mirroring what he was doing with equally huge eyes.

“Minnie say gwiraffe feeds!” Ryeowook informed with innocent excitement.

Leeteuk crouched down so the toddlers didn’t have to break their necks to look up at him. “There is giraffe feeding in the zoo?” Leeteuk asked and both toddlers nodded their head eagerly.

“Wookie and Minnie feed ‘wraffe?” Sungmin asked Leeteuk. Wookie had told him that Teukie was the new nanny and that he was his friend so he trusted the new adult.

“What do your…. parents say?” Leeteuk asked, looking up Heechul and Hangeng. He was not sure what titles they went by yet, so to avoid confusion he used a more neutral title.

“Umma, Minnie and Wookie can feed ‘wraffe?” Sungmin asked with hopeful eyes directed at Heechul.

“I am not going anywhere near a giraffe,” Heechul huffed. He was freaked out by their tongues and he honestly didn’t understand why the two toddlers had such a fascination with the tall animal.

Sungmin’s lower lip started quivering and tears began gathering in his eyes. “Umma meanie!” he yelled at the feline male before he began wailing.

Leeteuk looked over at Heechul and caught a glimpse of calculated anticipation in the man’s eyes. He then realised Heechul had said no just to make Sungmin create a scene so he could see whether or not Leeteuk was any good with kids. Leeteuk promptly turned his attention to the wailing toddler and Ryeowook, who was beginning to tear up as well at the prospect of not seeing the giraffes up close with his best friend. Leeteuk gently pulled them closer, wrapped an arm under each toddler’s butt and straightened up so they were both sitting comfortably on his hips. “If you want to, I can take you both to the giraffe feeding,” he offered in a soothing voice.

Sungmin’s wails turned to sniffles and he looked up at Leeteuk with watery eyes. “Wi-willy?” he hiccupped and Leeteuk had to hold back a smile at the toddler’s cuteness. It was on the same level as Ryeowook’s, who was now tugging his shoulder to get attention.

“Feed gwiraffe?” he asked eagerly, tears already forgotten.

“Yes, we will go feed the giraffes together,” Leeteuk smiled at the two toddlers who squealed and began clapping their small hands in victory and excitement.

“Should we go in?” Hangeng asked with amusement apparent in his voice. The toddlers began wriggling to be let down again at that and Leeteuk sat them down carefully. When he straightened up again he was met with a smiling Heechul.

“You passed,” the feline man said with a little smirk before making his way to the entrance.


	10. The Perfect Parents?

Getting through the entrance with six children and four adults proved to be a bit chaotic, but the process was made a little easier when Sungmin and Ryeowook weren’t toddling around, but instead perched in the arms of Heechul and Leeteuk, and they managed to get the tickets with no hiccups. Once they were safely on the other side of the entrance, Hangeng pulled his family over to the side and got a permanent marker out of the diaper bag on the stroller, so he could write his mobile number on both Yesung and Sungmin’s arms.

“If you cannot see me or umma anymore, find an adult and tell them you are lost and ask them nicely to call this number, understand?” he instructed seriously. Yesung nodded with a serious expression while Minnie just kept babbling with his bunny plushie. Hangeng looked at his youngest son and sighed. “Chullie, a little help?” he turned to his husband.

“Minnie, if you get lost, make sure you cry as loudly as you can, okay?”

Sungmin looked at his umma and nodded happily. “Minnie cwy if umma and appa lost,” the toddler repeated and Heechul smiled proudly at his son’s genius. Hangeng shook his head with a fond expression and went to pick the toddler up, leaving the stroller to Heechul. Sungmin happily sat on Hangeng’s arm and looked on as Kangin and Leeteuk instructed the four Kim boys on what to do if they got lost. Leeteuk asked to borrow the permanent marker from Hangeng and wrote Kangin’s number on the boys’ arms.

“Pwetty!” Ryeowook squealed as he saw the numbers on his arm. He studied them for a while, too busy to actually listen to his father or his nanny.

“Wookie, what do you do if you cannot find anyone you know?” Leeteuk asked the toddler, while Kangin was trying to make the twins calm down and listen as well.

“Appa and Teukie leave Wookie?” the toddler’s head whipped up and he started tearing up immediately. He did not want to stay in the zoo, he wanted to go home with his appa and Teukie once they had looked at all the animals!

“No, no, sweetie,” Leeteuk hurried to reassure as he scooped up the toddler and held him closely. “It’s just that appa and Teukie can be stupid and get lost in here because it is such a big park and if we get lost, we need you to find us again,” Leeteuk explained, trying to turn the hypothetic situation around so the toddler could understand. “If we get lost and you cannot find us or any of your brothers or uncle Heechul or uncle Hangeng, you can find an adult and show them the pretty drawing on your arm. Then they can help you find us, so we don’t have to sleep with the elephants tonight.”

Ryeowook’s mouth formed a big O as he understood the situation before he broke out in giggles. “Teukie sleep with aliphants,” he giggled at the silliness of that situation.

“Yes, that wouldn’t be very nice, I would much rather sleep at home with you guys,” Leeteuk smiled.

Ryeowook hugged Kiki tighter. “Wookie gwiraffe nom!” he reminded Leeteuk, wanting to be sure that he remembered; it was very important for him to get to feed the giraffes with Sungmin today.

“Yes, you can feed the giraffes,” he assured him. “We need to find a zookeeper to ask when we can feed them,” he then added as an afterthought to himself.

“Boys, don’t run too far away!” Kangin yelled after Donghae and Hyukjae who had spotted a red panda and was running towards it, not caring that the rest of the family was still by the entrance. “Let’s get going,” he sighed, an exasperated, yet fond expression on his face. Leeteuk held Ryeowook’s hand as the boy wanted to walk on his own, while Kangin pushed the stroller a little behind them.

When he saw Ryeowook walk on his own, Sungmin began wriggling on Hangeng’s arm. “What’s the matter, baobei?” Hangeng asked as Sungmin kept wriggling.

“Minnie down!” the toddler demanded. Hangeng complied and sat him down, watching carefully as the toddler ran as fast as his short legs could carry him over to Ryeowook and Leeteuk where he tried to reach Leeteuk’s other hand. Leeteuk was surprised at first when another little hand reached for his, since the twins and Siwon and Yesung had all run to the red pandas, but he quickly bent down so he could hold the other toddler’s hand as well. Sungmin had decided that he liked Teukie a lot since he had promised to take him to feed the giraffes when his umma wouldn’t.

Heechul, Hangeng and Kangin walked a bit behind, Hangeng and Kangin pushing the two strollers. “He is brilliant with kids,” Heechul commented as Leeteuk crouch down and began retelling some of the facts about the red panda from the plaque in front of the enclosure to all the six kids who looked at him in fascination at the interesting things he was telling.

“I know. He is like an angel sent from heaven. He had Wookie sleeping soundly within half an hour when he came for the interview.”

Heechul gave an approving nod and looked very impressed at that piece of information. Kangin had been very worried about his youngest son’s sleeping habits after his wife left and had discussed them with Heechul a few times to get advice on what to do.

“And he is amazing with Siwon. I didn’t even realise how hard this situation has been on him, but Leeteuk saw it and knew how to reach out to him. Hyukjae asked him yesterday if he would be his umma. I guess he was inspired by you guys,” Kangin chuckled. He was happy that his kids understood that everything wasn’t necessarily locked in genders despite their young ages.

“What did Leeteuk say to that?” Hangeng asked, a little smile adorning his lips at the change in his friend. He and Heechul had talked about how worried they were for Kangin, given his hard situation and the fact that he wanted to manage everything on his own. They had offered to take the kids a few times so Kangin could have some alone time, but he had proved to be a really overprotective father who didn’t want to let his kids out of sight. It was understandable, with everything that had been going on, but it had still caused them to worry about the single father.

“He told Hyukjae that he would try to give him all the love and attention that an umma should. So Hyukjae called him Teukie-umma before going to sleep. I don’t know if he is planning to continue that, but I honestly don’t mind. I want the best for my boys and I believe Leeteuk is the very best.” They had now moved on to the kangaroo enclosure, though the three adults still kept a little distance so they could talk without little ears listening in. The kids were laughing at how the kangaroos looked while jumping around and when a little baby poked its head up from the mother kangaroo’s pouch they squealed in excitement over the cute sight.

“So how long is he staying?” Heechul asked while studying Leeteuk’s interactions with the kids closely.

“Until Ryeowook is of age,” Kangin replied. Heechul raised an eyebrow at that. “We both agreed that he should stay as long as we are both happy yesterday after the incident with Hyukjae,” Kangin elaborated quickly.

“I know you say you are straight and all, but how the hell do you plan on living with him like that without falling for him? I mean, he seems pretty amazing. I wouldn’t mind bending him over and-,” he was cut off by a light punch on the arm from Hangeng. “Hey, you know I would choose your ass over all others anytime, babe. I am just stating the facts,” he huffed as he rubbed his arm. Hangeng and Kangin were both a little flustered, despite their years of knowing Heechul and his bluntness.

“I am different than you, Heechul. I am able to keep it in my pants instead of jumping everything I like on sight,” Kangin shot back, causing Heechul to huff indignantly.

“I will have you know that I never cheated on Geng even once in our relationship!” he said with mock offence clear in his tone.

“I know and I am glad. You two are the perfect couple and the perfect parents,” Kangin replied with a sweet smile. As if on cue, they had reached the reptile house and Yesung came running towards them.

“Umma, umma, can I touch the snakes?” he asked with big, hopeful eyes.

“Sure, sweetie, if you can reach them,” Heechul allowed with a shrug.

Hangeng looked incredulously at his husband for a second before running after his oldest son who was already trying to find a way through the net that separated the spectators from the snakes.

“Perfect parents,” Kangin laughed, parking the stroller before entering the house as well. Heechul followed with a grin and another shrug. The twins were busy looking at a crocodile who was lying lazily just on the other side of the glass, while Siwon was looking at Yesung who was struggling to get out of his father’s hold.

“Umma said I could touch the snakes!” he yelled, tears welling in his eyes.

“Umma is crazy, you know that, Yesung!” Hangeng replied, not letting go of the boy yet. “Besides, he said _if you could reach_ and you can’t without breaking the rules of the zoo and then they will throw us out and never let us come here again,” he reasoned, which made Yesung go limp in his arms in defeat.

“Stupid appa,” he sniffled before going to Siwon and hiding in the older boy’s arms.

Hangeng sighed before making his way to his husband. “Did you really have to say he could touch the snakes, Chullie? You know he loves reptiles,” he said, irritation clear in his voice.

“Hey, the kid has to learn,” Heechul replied with a shrug. He did love his sons more than anything but he and Geng clearly had different views when it came to raising a child; Heechul was more a ‘learn by error’ type of person rather than an overprotective parent.

While they were discussing the difference in parenting methods, Kangin was looking at Leeteuk, who once again had a toddler on each arm so they could see the poisonous frogs that were too high up for the toddlers to see if they were standing on the floor.

“Blue frog!” Sungmin squealed with wide eyes as a blue frog jumped into view before jumping down into the little pond it had, causing the water to splash on the window.

Kangin looked at the scene fondly. He found that he was not the least put off by the prospect of spending the next many years with Leeteuk by his side. _Helping with the boys!_ he quickly added in his mind before his attention was demanded.

“Appa, they have _huge_ turtles in there!” Hyukjae exclaimed as he and Donghae both tried to make the biggest circle with their arms and then gestured at the door leading to the turtles’ house.

“TURTLES!” Yesung screamed and was through the door before anyone could register what had happened. Siwon followed him quickly, knowing all about his friend’s weird fascination with the reptiles. Leeteuk laughed at the boys and crouched down to set the two toddlers on the ground before taking their hands so they could to into the turtle area as well.

“You know, if they are too much, you are free to take a break anytime,” Kangin offered as he followed while gesturing to the very hyperactive kids.

“Thank you, but I’m fine,” Leeteuk said with a big smile before Siwon asked for his attention to show him a baby turtle he found adorable.

“Can I have it?” he asked with huge puppy eyes directed at Leeteuk.

“I think you should ask your appa,” Leeteuk answered, a little amused by the dazed and in love expression the young boy was wearing when looking at the baby turtle.

Siwon turned to his appa with hopeful eyes.

“We can’t have that one, Siwon. It might be small now, but it will grow up to be the size of the other turtles in here,” he said and pointed at a turtle that was the size of a large coffee table. “But if you really want one, maybe we can do some research and get a smaller one,” Kangin then said, causing Siwon’s eyes to shine in joy.

“Yesung! Appa said I can get a turtle!” he yelled as he ran to the slightly younger boy.

Yesung’s eyes widened with envy. “Why can’t I have a turtle as well, appa?” he asked Hangeng with tears in his eyes.

“If you really want one, you have to read about how to take proper care of it first,” Heechul answered for his husband. “We don’t want to look after it.”

“I will read everything about them!” Yesung promised before running off to tell Siwon about his little victory.

“I blame you,” Heechul huffed at Kangin, who just feigned innocence while the feline man was looking. As soon as Heechul went to talk to the twins, though, he grinned broadly at Hangeng.

“Thank you for converting my husband. Yesung has wanted a turtle forever, but Heechul was always against it. Guess a little friendly competition to see who can be the best parents isn’t so bad,” Hangeng chuckled and high-fived Kangin with an equally wide grin.


	11. Feeding the Giraffes

Leeteuk managed to find a zookeeper just outside the reptile house, who happily told him all the details on the giraffe feeding as well as what direction they were in. There was half an hour until the giraffes would be fed so the large group slowly began making their way towards the giraffes.

“Look Hyuk! Monkeys!” Donghae exclaimed and pointed at the monkeys jumping around in their cage.

Hyukjae ran towards the cage as fast as he could and looked through the glass with huge eyes as he surveyed the monkeys. Some were sitting and eating, some were running around and playing with each other while some were cuddling on the branches of a tall tree. Both Donghae and Hyukjae were completely mesmerised, eyes darting between the monkeys to take in as much as possible. “Oh, look, appa, look what the monkeys do!” Hyukjae called when a big male mounted a female monkey. “What are they doing appa?” he asked, looking up at Kangin with big, innocent eyes.

“They are... hugging each other,” Kangin explained after an awkward pause in which he tried to come up with a plausible explanation. Hangeng promptly had to drag a hysterically laughing Heechul away from the boys as a result, as the feline man found Kangin’s explanation discomfort at the topic extremely amusing. Hyukjae just nodded and continued looking fascinated at the monkeys. Siwon and Yesung were looking at some sort of exhibition that was showing different monkey butts while pointing and laughing at the butts that were ‘floating’, as they were mounted on one of the walls.

“Wookie gwiraffe now!” Ryeowook demanded as he tugged Leeteuk’s hand, having seen enough of the monkeys.

Leeteuk nodded with a smile. “Kangin, I think we’ll go to the giraffes now if that’s okay?” Leeteuk asked, looking to the bulkier male.

“Okay, we will meet you there once they are done looking at the monkeys,” Kangin said, his attention quickly stolen again when Donghae asked what was written on one of the informational plaques.

As it turned out, leaving the monkey early proved to be a good idea; making their way through the zoo ended up taking quite some time. The two toddlers stopped at every single animal enclosure to look at the animals inside before remembering the giraffes they were supposed to feed soon. Both boys fell deeply in love with a tapir baby with a lot of energy. It was running around its enclosure, jumping and falling as it went, while the mum tapir stood and munched on some bark in the shadow of a large tree. The baby had white markings on it while the mum was a dark grey and both Ryeowook and Sungmin found the baby very pretty.

“Look Teukie!” Ryeowook yelled and flailed his hand wildly towards the baby tapir when it made a weird jerky jump that made Sungmin squeal in laughter.

Leeteuk laughed with them before checking his watch. “Sweeties, I think we have to go now if we want to be there in time to feed the giraffes,” he said, which made the toddler squeak and start running as fast as they could while tugging at Leeteuk’s hands to get him to come along. “It’s not that way,” Leeteuk laughed before steering them in the right direction.  

It wasn’t long before they reached a little plaza in front of where the giraffes were. There was a house where the giraffes seemed to be right now, and an enclosure just outside the house where the giraffes would be fed. In the far end of the little enclosure were gates to a large savannah-like plain. Stairs were leading up to a platform where you could stand while feeding the giraffes, and by the foot of them stood a zookeeper.

“Hello, we heard that you could feed the giraffes?” Leeteuk inquired politely while Ryeowook and Sungmin both stretched their necks as far as they could in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the giraffes inside the house.

“Yes, it will just be a minute, then the giraffes are let out. You’ll have to carry those two, though, they are not big enough to go up there alone,” the zookeeper gestured towards the two toddlers.

“I was planning to,” Leeteuk said with a pleasant smile. “How exactly is it going to work?”

“Each of them will get a plastic cup with some food in and then they hold it out to the giraffes. The giraffes will use their tongues to get the food so you might want to warn your kids about that,” the keeper said, smiling at the toddlers.

Leeteuk nodded and thanked her before taking a few steps away from the staircase so he could explain the procedure to Ryeowook and Sungmin. “Okay, listen, listen,” he said, catching their attention. “The nice lady will give you a cup with food in and the giraffes will try to eat the food. The giraffes have very long tongues so they might accidentally lick your hands, but they are not dangerous. I’ll carry you both so you can reach,” he explained. The toddlers nodded and Leeteuk crouched down so he could hoist one up on each hip just as the doors opened and the giraffes were let out of the house. He made his way up the stairs where the keeper handed each toddler a cup with some food pellets and different nuts and seeds.

“’Wraffes!” Sungmin exclaimed happily and stretched his chubby arm as far as he could towards the giraffes that were still standing by the house, a little distance away from the platform. “Onom!” He tried to swing the cup to get the giraffes’ attention but instead managed to spill the food down into the enclosure. Though it caught the attention of two of the giraffes, that were now making their way towards them, Sungmin’s eyes slowly filled with water when he realised he would have no food to give them when they got closer.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, here you go,” the zookeeper comforted as she reached into a large sack and then put another handful of food in Sungmin’s cup.

“Fanks,” he whispered shyly, scooting closer to Leeteuk before holding the cup out to the giraffe closest to him.

Leeteuk noticed that Ryeowook was sitting very still, looking at the giraffes with huge eyes while clutching Kiki in the arm that did not hold the cup. “What’s the matter, Wookie?” he asked softly.

Ryeowook whimpered before burying his face in Leeteuk’s shoulder just as the giraffe began fishing out the food from Sungmin’s cup. “Gwiraffe big. Not like Kiki,” Ryeowook whispered in a frightened voice causing Leeteuk to smile a bit.

He moved Ryeowook up on his hip as well as he could with no free hands, before kissing his forehead softly. “They are not dangerous. Look at Minnie feeding the giraffe,” he said in a soothing voice.

“Minnie feed ‘wraffe!” the older toddler said in awe as the giraffe used its tongue to make sure there was no more food left in the cup.

Ryeowook peeked up from Leeteuk’s shoulder and looked at the giraffe still licking into Sungmin’s cup. They sure were big when they were this close!

“Wookie, I am right here. It won’t hurt you,” Leeteuk promised.

Ryeowook studied the giraffe a bit longer before tentatively reaching the cup towards the giraffe. The blue tongue immediately shot down into the cup and Leeteuk felt Ryeowook’s tiny body give a small jerk in surprise, but he held the cup tightly and watched with big eyes as the giraffe ate the contents of his cup as well.

“Well done!” the keeper praised cheerfully after watching the scene. “Good thing your appa was there to help you,” she said, a friendly smile directed at Ryeowook.

“Teukie no appa, Teukie umma!” Ryeowook corrected indignantly, causing the woman to look strangely at them. Ryeowook just threw the cup towards the keeper before snuggling closer to his newly declared and rather dumbfounded umma.

“I’m so sorry,” Leeteuk apologised hurriedly, gesturing to the cup with his head.

“It’s fine,” the keeper said, looking like she had no idea what else to do or say.

Sungmin giggled at the woman’s expression, before catching sight of his parents in the middle of the small plaza. “UMMA! Minnie feed ‘wraffe!” he yelled, causing the woman to look even more confused. As far as she could see, there were only males in the direction the small boy yelled.

“That’s nice,” Heechul answered as Leeteuk decided to save the poor woman from more confusion. The nanny quickly made his way down the stairs to reunite with Kangin, Heechul, Hangeng and the four oldest boys.

“Appa, Wookie and umma feed gwiraffe!” Ryeowook squealed as Leeteuk handed Sungmin over to Heechul.

“You did, did you?” Kangin smiled at his youngest son, feeling warmth in his heart at his adoption of Leeteuk. He had known it would happen eventually if Hyukjae kept calling Leeteuk umma, but to know that Ryeowook had decided to adopt Leeteuk on his own just made the burly businessman even more certain he had made the right choice when he picked Leeteuk.

“You should have seen the poor keeper,” Leeteuk chuckled, glancing back at the platform which was now empty. The zookeeper was nowhere to be found. “Wookie was a bit frightened of the giraffes when he realised how big they were, but we made it. The keeper commented that it was a good thing he had his appa with him, and Ryeowook yelled that I was not his appa, but his umma instead and then he tried to toss his plastic cup at her. He’s got quite the temper, this one.”

All the adults laughed at the retelling of the little adventure while Ryeowook just snuggled closer to Leeteuk without caring what they did as he was beginning to get a bit tired. He yawned cutely and hugged Kiki tighter before laying his head on Leeteuk’s shoulder as close to the neck as he could and closing his eyes.

“Bunny, you shouldn’t sleep now. We haven’t had ice cream yet,” Kangin said when he noticed, knowing that it was still a little early for a nap.

Ryeowook opened his tired eyes. “Nom?” he asked cutely and Kangin smiled and nodded.

“Should we go get one now?” Kangin asked and Ryeowook nodded tiredly as he sat up on Leeteuk’s arm in an attempt to wake up a little more. Kangin took the tired toddler from Leeteuk and the entire group began making their way to a little ice cream booth close by.

Six kids with ice creams proved to be a true mess, and lots of tissues were needed. Heechul dragged Leeteuk a bit away from the group, intent on having a chat with the new nanny, while Kangin and Hangeng handed out tissues and tried to save the children’s clothes from stains.

“You are amazing with kids,” Heechul stated as the first thing when he turned around.

“Thank you,” Leeteuk said, feeling his cheeks heat up a little. He knew he was good with kids but somehow he always felt shy when others pointed it out.

“So, are you planning to seduce Kangin anytime soon?” Heechul then asked matter-of-factly, causing Leeteuk to splutter wildly, eyes wide in shock at the bold question.

“Excuse me?!”

“Well, two out of his four kids call you umma, you are gay and you clearly love his kids a great deal.”

Leeteuk was stunned for a couple of seconds, mouth opening and closing like a fish’s would before he finally regained his ability to speak. “First of all, Kangin is straight-“

“So is spaghetti until you boil it,” Heechul shrugged, not seeing the problem.

“Second of all, he is my employer. Third, I am not looking for a relationship right now,” Leeteuk listed quickly before Heechul could interrupt again. He felt a bit like he had been caught up in a whirlwind, not sure what the heck had just happened.

“I just think you would make a wonderful couple, that’s all. Oh, but if you are not interested in him, I have a friend you should meet!” he exclaimed, Cheshire cat smile stretching on his lips at his own genius, seemingly totally unfazed by Leeteuk’s reaction.

“I.. No, thank you,” Leeteuk declined as politely as he could.

Heechul shook his head once and hooked his arm with Leeteuk’s while leading him towards the others again, wide smile still in place. “I just know you and I are going to be best friends!” Heechul declared happily just before they reached the table.

 


	12. Trauma

****

As soon as Leeteuk was back at the table again Ryeowook stretched his chubby arms towards the male, signalling that he wanted to sit on Leeteuk’s lap. Leeteuk scooped the toddler up readily and sat down with him on his lap, holding the toddler close to his torso. Ryeowook just snuggled closer as he laid there, looking sideways at his brothers and friends as they finished their ice creams as well.

Kangin looked thoughtfully at the two while eating the rest of Ryeowook’s ice cream. The toddler hadn’t really been hungry and he was getting tired and fussy, so Kangin had taken the ice cream from him and wiped his fingers and mouth clean before the ice cream went flying somewhere. He’d noticed that his youngest son had a profound love for throwing things. He watched as Leeteuk let his fingers run through the toddler’s soft hair and pressed a kiss to his temple. He smiled inwardly when he thought of how Ryeowook had called Leeteuk umma without any kind of influence from Hyukjae, and he once again praised himself for his choice of nanny and thanked the heavens for letting him have that choice in the first place. Ryeowook was already so attached to Leeteuk that he seemed to prefer the younger male to his appa most of the time, though Kangin couldn’t say that he minded. He was just happy that someone could be the mother Ryeowook needed even though said ‘umma’ had a penis too much to fit into what society saw as a mother.

Ryeowook yawned tiredly, screwing up his tiny face in the process. Both Kangin and Leeteuk smiled a little at the sight. “Come on, bunny, let’s get you tucked in so you can have a nap,” Kangin said gently as he approached Leeteuk and the sleepy toddler.

“No!” Ryeowook shouted immediately, tears filling his panicked eyes. Both Leeteuk and Kangin were startled by the strong reaction that seemed to have come like a lightning from a clear sky. “Wookie stay wif Teukie umma!” he insisted with a choked sob and pressed his body as close to Leeteuk’s torso as he could, completely squishing Kiki in the process.

“But you are tired and you need a nap, sweetie,” Kangin tried to reason with the small boy who seemed on the verge of hysterics.

“Teukie umma leave if Wookie sleep!” the toddler cried, fear and panic painted in his every feature.

Kangin felt as if he had received a slap to the face.

“Umma leave when Wookie no look,” the toddler whimpered as he clung to Leeteuk’s shirt and hid his face in his shoulder.

“I’m not going anywhere, Wookie,” Leeteuk promised once he had collected himself, his voice as soothing as it could be, as he stroked the toddler’s back gently, rocking back and forth slowly. “I am right here.” He stood up and made his way out of the cafeteria. Once he was outside he began pacing back and forth with the whimpering boy while whispering soothing words to him.

Kangin sat frozen in his chair, not having moved an inch since Ryeowook’s outburst. Once again he was shocked by how much his ex-wife’s leaving had affected his boys, and he felt tears well in his eyes. It seemed like he was on the verge of tears constantly these days, what with each new revelation of just how deeply hurt his sons had been. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up.

“It is not your fault, Youngwoon,” Heechul said quietly as he looked straight into his best friends eyes. Seen from the outside the two males seemed completely incompatible. No one who didn’t know them would believe that they were best friends. But even so, it was Kangin Heechul had come to with tears in his eyes when his and Hangeng’s application for adoption had been finally refused, simply because they were gay, many years ago. It was Kangin who had stood by his side as his best man when Heechul and Hangeng got married in America. It was Heechul who had stood by Kangin’s side when he had married his wife. Despite protests from their mother, Heechul was the godfather of all Kangin’s sons, while Kangin was the godfather of his two sons. When Heechul and Hangeng had received news that they had been approved as parents and that Yesung was waiting for them at an orphanage, Heechul had called Kangin in the middle of the night due to the time difference between America and Korea, and they had both cried from pure happiness over the good news. In the beginning of his and Heechul’s relations, Hangeng had even gotten jealous because of their close relationship, but he had learned over time that all they were, and would ever be, was best friends. He now saw how Kangin needed Heechul and quickly guided the boys outside to play on the playground that was just beside the cafeteria before they noticed that their father and uncle was on the way to have a minor breakdown.

“Chullie… Did you hear him?” Kangin asked, completely broken hearted as he gave into his tears and buried his face in Heechul’s neck when the older embraced him.

“It is _not_ your fault, Youngwoon,” Heechul repeated, holding his friend close. “It’s that bloody bitch who decided she didn’t have the balls to be a mother. If she ever comes back, I swear, I will castrate her with a rusty teaspoon, I’ll dig out her uterus and feed it to flobberworms so she can never have kids again,” he seethed, beyond angry with the woman who caused his best friend and his nephews so much pain.

At his friend’s violent statement, a watery giggle with a slightly hysteric edge escaped the larger man. “He sounded so scared. He looked terrified of losing Leeteuk now that he sees him as his umma,” Kangin said with a sniffle and tried to dry his tears as he withdrew from the hug.

“Can you blame him? He might not remember Sora, but he remembers the feeling of being abandoned. He remembers that his umma disappeared while he was sleeping, so of course he is terrified of sleeping and waking up to find his new umma gone as well,” Heechul explained. Suddenly it clicked for both males why Ryeowook had refused to go to sleep and slept restlessly once he did in the months after Sora left.

“He was afraid I would leave as well,” Kangin whispered, voice filled with horror as it dawned on him.

“But you didn’t. And he is sleeping alright at night now, isn’t he?” Heechul said, trying to turn the attention to something slightly positive in this situation.

“Yes. Since Leeteuk came there have been no problems at all except for today,” Kangin replied, sounding a little lost. He didn’t know why Ryeowook suddenly reacted like this now when he had been sleeping peacefully and not fussed excessively before naps for over a week.

“Did he ever call Leeteuk umma before?” Heechul asked.

Kangin’s mouth fell open in realisation and he shook his head. Leeteuk had been ‘promoted’ to umma today. As soon as Ryeowook’s mind had decided that Leeteuk was umma, all his past fears regarding his umma had been projected over to Leeteuk and caused him to act out. “How do I handle this best?” he asked Heechul forlornly.

“I think the best thing you can do right now is let Ryeowook cling to Leeteuk if that is what he needs. He needs to see that just because Leeteuk is now his umma, it doesn’t mean he is going to leave him like Sora did. I think he just needs the reassurance right now so let him have that. It doesn’t seem like Leeteuk minds. I think you should also talk to Leeteuk about it. Explain what you think just happened so that he understands why Ryeowook acts the way he does,” Heechul said thoughtfully.

“He probably knows already,” Kangin said with a tired chuckle as he stood up, ready to go out and be with his sons again. “I swear I have never met a person who understands my sons better that he does.”

Heechul just smiled in agreement and patted his shoulder lightly before leaving the cafeteria with him. Heechul made his way to Hangeng who was supervising the children, pressing a kiss to his cheek before he picked Sungmin up and went over to a baby swing. It wasn’t long before squeals of laughter were heard as Heechul pushed Sungmin on the swing. Hangeng smiled and decided to chase the four older boys while playing an evil monster now that he didn’t have a toddler to keep an eye on. The boys screamed in delight and began running around the playground while laughing as they tried to escape.

Kangin made his way over to Leeteuk who was still pacing slowly around with a now sleeping toddler in his arms. When Leeteuk looked up, Kangin saw the tear trails on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” Leeteuk mumbled with a little sniffle, trying to dry his tears without waking up the toddler.

“It’s okay, I had a similar reaction,” Kangin said kindly, handing Leeteuk a tissue. “I think we can put him in the stroller now. As long as you are there when he wakes up, I think we are good,” he continued softly.

Leeteuk nodded and let Kangin take the sleeping boy, drying his eyes completely as the older man tucked Ryeowook in. “I will never be able to understand how your ex-wife could leave the boys. I don’t think I could, even with a gun put to my head,” Leeteuk said, fighting to hold in a new wave of tears. Before he knew what had happened he found himself in Kangin’s strong embrace.

“I know,” Kangin whispered softly while holding the nanny. “That’s why I am so glad you allow them to see you as their umma. They need you.” _I need you_. Kangin pushed the thought away and released Leeteuk again.

The younger hastily dried his tears again. “Thank you,” he smiled softly. “I was just overwhelmed. He seemed so desperate.”

“I know,” Kangin replied again. “He was. His umma left while he was sleeping and while he might not remember her, he surely remembers that he was abandoned. Heechul and I just realised that might be why he had trouble sleeping.”

“That makes a lot of sense.” Leeteuk nodded slowly. “We’ll just have to show him that I’m not going anywhere,” he said with a soft smile as he stroked the sleeping toddler’s cheek gently.

“If you want you can go play with the boys. I’ll keep an eye on him,” Kangin offered, needing a little moment to collect his thoughts and be near his youngest son.

Leeteuk sent him a grateful smile and mouthed a ‘thank you’ before making his way over to the kids who were still running from Hangeng. The twins immediately ran over and hid behind his legs.

“Teukie, he is going to eat us!” Donghae squealed as Hangeng came towards them with a loud, playful growl, causing Donghae to run away with a loud scream of laughter while Hyukjae suddenly clung to Leeteuk’s leg and hid his face in his waist, the loud growl having scared him.

Hangeng noticed immediately and snapped out of the role as the monster in less than a second to crouch down next to the frightened boy. “Hyuk, it’s okay. It’s just me, uncle Hannie,” he tried to soothe softly. “Baobei, look at me.”

Hyukjae whimpered but peeked out from his little shelter nonetheless, still clutching Leeteuk’s shirt tightly with his hands.

“I am sorry I scared you,” Hangeng apologised genuinely.

Hyukjae calmed down when he saw that it was indeed just his uncle. “It’s okay,” he replied before letting go of Leeteuk’s leg to hug one of his two favourite uncles in the world. He then hurried back to Leeteuk’s leg. “Teukie umma, can you push me on the swing?” he asked, looking at the nanny with hopeful eyes. It seemed he wanted to do something a little less frightening now.

“Sure,” Leeteuk replied with a smile, taking Hyukjae’s hand and going for the swings.

Hyukjae climbed up and sat on the swing, dangling his legs which were a bit too short to touch the ground. He squealed once Leeteuk gave him a soft push.

“Me too!” Donghae yelled as he zoomed over to the swing next to Hyukjae and jumped on it. Soon Leeteuk was alternating between pushing Donghae and Hyukjae who were both laughing in delight.

“Look how high up we are, Wonnie!” Hyukjae yelled at his older brother.

Siwon just smiled at them before turning away and walking over to the little play tower and climbing the little ladder so he could get to the first floor of the tower.

Yesung followed very quickly and they both climbed to the highest floor of the tower and sat down. “So, is Leeteuk your umma now?” Yesung asked curiously. The two boys hadn’t really had time to talk alone since they came here.

“I don’t know,” Siwon answered, tone soft.

Yesung nodded as if he understood the bigger picture of things.

“I want him to be,” Siwon admitted quietly, almost too quiet for Yesung to hear, and looked down at his hands.

“Well, he doesn’t seem to mind that Wook and Hyuk call him umma, so I am sure he will be your umma too if you ask him,” Yesung reasoned with all the logic of a seven-year-old.

Siwon nodded thoughtfully. “It would be good for appa to have an umma too. Uncle Hannie and uncle Heechul are very happy together. Maybe appa and Leeteuk can be happy together too?” Siwon asked his confidante with hope laced in his every word. In his world, an umma and an appa had to be together, so if Leeteuk consented to be his and Hae’s umma too, that would mean that he and appa would be happy together, right? He knew that there was nothing wrong with a man loving a man; given his family history, he even had more faith in two men staying together than in a man and a woman staying together. And his appa deserved to be happy. Siwon might only be eight years old but he had noticed how tired his appa had become and how hard it had been for him to be the best appa he could be. In Siwon’s opinion, however, his appa would always be the best appa in the world, no matter what.  

“Oh, if Leeteuk becomes your umma, can he be my uncle? I like him!” Yesung said eagerly with a big, hopeful smile.

“Sure!” Siwon replied with an equally big smile. After all, it was only fair when Yesung’s umma and appa were his uncles that Siwon’s appa and umma would be Yesung’s uncles as well. Siwon honestly couldn’t wait to ask Leeteuk if he would be his umma too.


	13. Part of the Family

The boys spent the next hour on the playground with the adults taking turns watching them and playing with them. Within the first 30 minutes, Sungmin began to feel tired as well and he went to sleep in his stroller with no problems. Heechul watched Leeteuk play with the twins in the sandbox where they were building some kind of fort for a little while, unable to hide the smile at the interactions between the nanny and his nephews. Then he went to look for Siwon and Yesung and found them in the tower still.

“What are you two doing up here?” he asked as he peeked up to see if they were still alive.

Yesung squeaked in surprise. “Umma! Go away! We are talking about secret things!” he insisted, going as far as trying to push his umma’s head out of the little opening.

Heechul just laughed at his son’s antics. “Okay, okay, I’ll leave,” he chuckled, crawling down again to give the two some privacy.

 

When they decided they had played long enough and wanted to see more animals, Leeteuk took a twin in each hand while Kangin pushed the stroller with Ryeowook in. Hangeng walked behind Siwon and Yesung who were holding each other’s hands and Heechul pushed the stroller with Sungmin in. They decided to go visit the Africa-house, which had a rainforest and a large water basin where the manatees lived. Siwon was extremely fascinated with the large animals and stood so close to the glass to look at them that his nose was pressed flat against it.

“Come on, they aren’t even exciting or anything!” Yesung insisted, trying to drag Siwon along with him, so they could go see the penguins that lived in a building connected to the Africa-house by a tunnel that went under an aquarium so it looked like you were at the bottom of the ocean.

“But look at them! They are so pretty and graceful!” Siwon argued just as one of the large animals let out a huge bubble of gas from its rear end. Yesung began giggling wildly at Siwon who was now blushing furiously. “Let’s go!” the older boy yelled, trying to ignore Yesung’s laughter as he dragged the younger with him towards the door.

Heechul, Hangeng and Kangin followed, all sporting amused smiles at the two oldest boys and their antics, while Leeteuk came behind them with the twins. Donghae and Hyukjae were busy looking at the piranhas.

“Look at their teeth,” Eunhyuk said, scooting closer to Leeteuk for protection.

Donghae, on the other hand, pressed himself as close to the glass as he could. “Can I have one?” he asked, looking at Leeteuk with stars in his eyes.

“Where would you keep it?” Leeteuk asked with a small smile at the youngest twin’s expression.

“In the sink!” Donghae exclaimed after a short pause, beaming brightly at the brilliance of his plan.

“Where would you wash your hands then, pabo?” Hyukjae mocked.

“I’m not a pabo!” Donghae replied quickly with a pout.

“Boys, we should go catch up with your uncles,” Leeteuk interrupted to divert their attention before the twins could start a full-blown fight.

 

 

The tunnel leading to the penguins were split into two sections; one was a glass tunnel that went through the aquarium, while the other was a dark tunnel with different boxes hanging on the wall with different things inside to touch and look at. There was also a huge block of ice with light in it. The twins pressed their hands onto it while squealing with laughter because it was so cold. When they finally made their way into the room with large glass windows where you could see the penguins, Kangin beckoned the twins over to the glass.

“Do you see that penguin with the yellow and purple bracelet?” he asked, pointing at one of the penguins. The twins looked in that direction and then nodded, looking at the penguin curiously. “That is the oldest penguin in the world. It is even older than me!” he told them. The twins looked up at their appa with open mouths and then at the penguins. There were many penguins in the enclosure, and they were busy waddling around, eating, or swimming. There were different kinds of penguins and it seemed most of them had a bracelet in different colours and patterns to help the zookeepers identify them. With all the hustle and bustle of the birds, the twins were quite entertained, laughing and pointing when one of the penguins stole a fish from another and then waddled away in full speed.

Leeteuk went to the stroller Kangin had parked by the wall to check on the sleeping Ryeowook. The toddler whimpered slightly in his sleep and Leeteuk didn’t hesitate to sit down on a bench beside the stroller before gently stroking his cheek. The whimpering stopped and a tiny hand made its way to Leeteuk’s, grasping it so it wouldn’t go. Leeteuk smiled softly at that, his heart already completely lost to the little boy and his brothers.

“He is absolutely wonderful, isn’t he?”

Leeteuk looked up in surprise and found Heechul standing with the stroller with Sungmin in. Heechul sat down beside Leeteuk when the nanny hummed in agreement.

“Sungmin is wonderful too,” Leeteuk replied, smiling at the older male. Even though Heechul had shocked him with his blunt and unabashed ways, he had already decided that he liked the man. He would definitely take a little getting used to, but Leeteuk was pretty sure Heechul would be a fiercely loyal friend.

Heechul smiled at the comment. “Thank you, I think so too,” he responded quietly, looking lovingly at his youngest son who was still sleeping soundly. “You know, I want to thank you,” Heechul then continued. Leeteuk lifted an eyebrow, silently prompting the other man to go on. “Youngwoon is a wonderful father, one of the best there is, but he couldn’t handle the boys alone. He was slowly going under with all the stress and pressure and constant exchanging of nannies that were no good what so ever. You are like an angel sent from above.”

Leeteuk blushed at the words, feeling both proud and a little embarrassed at the kind words.

Heechul took his free hand, the one not occupied by Ryeowook’s hand. “I mean it. I have known him for years and after Hangeng and our sons, he is the most important person to me. He has always been there for me whenever I needed him. It was hard seeing him slowly going under and refusing any help. I really did what I could, but he wouldn’t let me. He’s such a stupidly proud man.” Heechul’s eyes were now brimmed with tears. It was only now that everything seemed to be alright again that he truly allowed himself to admit how scared he had been of losing his best friend. He quickly tried to dry his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just… It was hard. Seeing him so stressed and worried. Seeing what it did to the boys,” he trailed off, looking at the twins who were currently pointing wildly at a penguin and telling Kangin something with clear excitement on their faces. His eyes then found Siwon who was playing with one of the interactive learning blocks put on the wall for children to play with. He truly loved his nephews, and seeing them happier and more carefree than he had in a long time made him feel so incredibly grateful towards Leeteuk.

“It’s okay,” Leeteuk assured, stroking his thumb over the back of Heechul’s hand.

“I know. You are here now,” Heechul said with a smile just as Ryeowook whimpered again, clutching Leeteuk’s hand tighter with his small fingers. “You truly are amazing. It’s like they are different boys now. They are all so happy. Both the boys and Kangin. It makes me so happy to see. I hope you will stay,” Heechul admitted. It was not every day that he bared his soul to people, let alone people he had just met, but there was just something about Leeteuk that made him feel okay doing it.

“I am staying until Kangin throws me out or this little guy turns 18,” Leeteuk replied with a wide smile as he nodded his head towards the toddler.

Heechul let out a breathy laugh. “Yes, Kangin said so. I’m glad. They need some stability and love. I really do believe that we can become good friends,” Heechul added with a chuckle.

“I think so too,” Leeteuk smiled, casting a glance at Ryeowook when he heard a soft noise from the stroller.

The toddler yawned and seemed to be waking up slowly. He hadn’t yet realised that he was clutching a hand, let alone who the hand belonged to, as he tried to open his small eyes and keep them open. “Umma?” he whimpered sleepily, his entire face scrunched up because of the offending brightness, and for just a fraction of a second, both Leeteuk and Heechul froze. Anytime Ryeowook had called Leeteuk that day, he had called him ‘Teukie umma’ and for a second both adults thought the toddler was asking for his real umma; perhaps the mental wounds that had been ripped open before he went to sleep had confused him and made him think his real umma was still there. “Teukie umma?” the toddler whimpered more insistently and clutched Leeteuk’s hand tighter, his eyes still screwed shut.

Leeteuk immediately stood up so he could remove the little harness and lift Ryeowook out of the stroller. “I’m right here, bunny,” he replied softly, lifting the toddler carefully after he had removed the harness. Once the boy was sitting securely on his hip, he bent down to get Kiki and handed it to the toddler. Ryeowook hugged Kiki and snuggled into Leeteuk’s side, whining slightly when Leeteuk moved him so he could sit down without accidentally sitting on one of his small legs.

“Morning Wookie,” Heechul greeted with a smile. Ryeowook pouted at him before turning his head the other way and making himself comfortable in Leeteuk’s arms. Heechul just chuckled lightly at the rejection, not at all taking it personally.

 

 

When they were somewhere around the lions, Sungmin woke up as well. Ryeowook was still not ready to let go of Leeteuk, perched on his arm so he could look at the animals and still be close to his newly adopted umma.

“Cat!” Ryeowook exclaimed as he pointed at the lion that was lying on a heated rock not far from the fence.

“It’s a lion, bunny,” Kangin said, standing beside Leeteuk and looking at the lion too.

Ryeowook looked at him with wide eyes. “Big cat?” he asked, attention stolen away by the lion again when the big cat stretched and rolled over so it could lie on its other side.

“Yes, very big cat,” Kangin smiled and ruffled his son’s hair, causing a giggle from the tiny boy. He then turned his attention to Hangeng who was coming towards them, Sungmin sitting on his hip.

“Do you guys want to come eat dinner at our place tonight?” he asked with a smile.

Kangin looked to Leeteuk, who gave a little nod and a smile, and then nodded. “Sure, that would be nice. Unless Heechul is cooking.”

“I heard that!” Heechul yelled from where he was looking at ducks with the twins.

“Don’t worry, I’ll cook,” Hangeng chuckled. Then Sungmin began to wriggle in his hold and he looked down at his son. “What is it, Minnie?”

“Teukie umma now,” the young boy pouted as he stretched his arms towards Leeteuk. He had heard what Ryeowook called the male and he decided that he liked it. Besides, he didn’t see how ‘Teukie umma’ was different from ‘uncle Kangin’. 

“It seems like he’s adopted you too. Do you mind?” Hangeng asked Leeteuk who just chuckled in response.

“Not at all,” he replied and readjusted Ryeowook to make room for Sungmin on his other arm. Hangeng carefully transferred the toddler to Leeteuk, and the young boy was quick to stick his plush bunny in Ryeowook’s face in greeting. The two toddlers and their plushies were soon fully submerged in a deep conversation.

As they walked around, Leeteuk slowly began to feel the toll of carrying two toddlers around, but he couldn’t say that he didn’t think it was worth it. However, when they reached the tigers and he spotted a bench, he walked over to it and sat down, exhaling heavily when he did.

Of course Kangin noticed, and he made his way over to the bench as well. “Wookie and Minnie, you have to either walk for a bit or sit in your strollers. Teukie umma can’t carry you anymore, he is tired,” he explained to the two toddlers patiently. Surprisingly they took it well and didn’t fuss at the prospect of walking.

“Can Minnie hold Teukie umma’s hand?” Sungmin asked and looked up at Leeteuk with round eyes and a small pout.

“Of course,” Leeteuk replied, causing Ryeowook to bounce slightly on Leeteuk’s other knee.

“Wookie too!” he demanded and Leeteuk chuckled at the serious expression.

“Yes, of course, Wookie,” he answered with a smile, not minding the clingy toddlers.

“You can walk around until we leave the zoo, then you have to sit in your strollers,” Kangin informed.

The toddlers seemed like they couldn’t care less about what Kangin was saying as Leeteuk sat them down on the ground, one after the other, before standing up and taking one hand in each of his own and beginning to walk slowly, so the two boys could waddle along with him.

The last thing before the exit was a large enclosure with birds in all shapes and colours. All six kids were amazed by the many birds and would have stayed to look at them had it not been for their parents.

“We have to go home so we can have dinner. Aren’t you beginning to get hungry?” Hangeng reasoned in his ever-patient manner. The boys finally gave in then, realising that yes, they were getting hungry. Soon both toddlers were safely tucked in the strollers while the four oldest boys had a hand of an adult to hold on to and the journey to the Han-Kim house began.

 


	14. Giraffe Man

When they arrived at the Han-Kim house, Leeteuk noticed a lanky man standing in front of the house, looking like he waited for someone. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Heechul with a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat.

“That friend I was talking about...”

“Oh my God, Heechul, I haven’t seen you in ages!” the tall man exclaimed with a Chinese accent as he caught sight of Heechul and came forward to greet the male. When he reached them, he immediately bent down and placed two kisses on each of Heechul’s cheeks while Heechul mirrored the gesture.

“Mi, it’s good seeing you again. Leeteuk, I would like you to meet Zhoumi. He is a very close friend of ours,” Heechul smirked as he introduced the males.

Hangeng dragged his husband to the side. “What are you doing?” he hissed at Heechul.

“I’m matchmaking, my dear,” Heechul singsonged, kissing Hangeng’s cheek lightly before skipping up to their front door and unlocking it.

“Heechul said you were a dear and I absolutely had to meet you,” Zhoumi exclaimed as he hugged Leeteuk close and gave the flustered nanny a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, hi Kangin, long time, no see,” he continued as he caught sight of Kangin over Leeteuk’s shoulder.

Ryeowook sat in the stroller and looked at Zhoumi with big eyes. “Gwiraffe man!” he suddenly exclaimed, pointing at Zhoumi. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen anyone that tall other than the giraffes they had just fed that day.

Luckily Zhoumi didn’t seem the slightest bit offended and he laughed heartily when Kangin explained what Ryeowook had meant with the title.

Once they were inside and all shoes and jackets had come off, the children scattered to go play.

“Will you be eating with us, Mi?” Hangeng asked, hanging Sungmin’s jacket up after helping the toddler out of it.

“Yes, please, gege,” Zhoumi answered with a grateful smile. When Leeteuk had been helping the kids out of their shoes and jackets, the tall Chinese man had studied him, and he found him absolutely gorgeous. Zhoumi felt extremely attracted to him already and he couldn’t wait to get to know him better. Heechul had texted him and told him about Kangin’s new nanny, saying that the man was an angel and that Zhoumi had to come over pronto so they could meet each other. The designer had been in town anyway, and he had missed Heechul and Hangeng, so he hadn’t been against taking the evening off to go spend some time with them. The possible prospect of a date was just a bonus.

While Hangeng busied himself in the kitchen, Leeteuk, Kangin, and Zhoumi went to the playroom where the boys were already busy with cars and lego. Kangin couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed by the tall male in the room. He knew from the moment he saw Zhoumi standing in front of the house that Heechul was trying to set the designer up with Leeteuk and it bothered him to no end though he wasn’t sure why. He tried to tell himself that it was only the prospect of Leeteuk finding a boyfriend and possibly quitting despite saying that he wouldn’t that bugged him, but a small voice in his head kept repeating _mine_.

 

“Dinner is ready!” Hangeng announced half an hour later, causing the playing kids and adults to break up their games. Leeteuk tried to stay behind to clean up, but Heechul stopped him.

“No no, you have to come and talk to Zhoumi!”

Ryeowook was utterly fascinated by Zhoumi and he grinned proudly when he realised that the tall man would be sitting across from him. Leeteuk sat down beside Ryeowook, Siwon on his other side, so he could help Ryeowook with the food. They were having mashed potatoes and sausages, so it was only the sausages Ryeowook needed help with. The dining room was soon filled with talk and laughter throughout the table. Heechul was cutting out Sungmin’s food and discussing some plans for next week with Hangeng. Leeteuk was cutting out Ryeowook’s sausages when Zhoumi tried to get his attention.

“So, you have an education in childcare?” he inquired with an interested look on his face.

Leeteuk cut the last sausages into bite sized pieces for Ryeowook before turning his attention to Zhoumi. He was not all that happy with Heechul’s eagerness to play Cupid, but Zhoumi seemed like a nice guy and since he was already here Leeteuk figured that he might as well give him a chance. “Yes, I do. What do you do?” he asked, looking the male over. He was dressed far too nicely to be around children in his everyday life.

“I’m a designer,” Zhoumi answered with a smile that could battle sunshine.

Leeteuk pursed his lips as he nodded. He had never known any designers, but he was pretty sure that was a tough business to be in. He was about to comment on it when his attention was caught by Ryeowook who was tugging his sleeve.

“Umma nom!” the toddler insisted, not at all happy that the giraffe man was taking his umma’s attention away from him. He opened his tiny mouth and looked at Leeteuk with expectant eyes while holding out his fork for Leeteuk to take.

Leeteuk sighed with a fond smile and poked the fork through a piece of sausage. “Just one, I know you can eat by yourself,” he said, waiting until Ryeowook had nodded before feeding him the piece. He then handed the fork back to Ryeowook, who took it and managed to splash it in his mashed potatoes before putting it in his mouth again.

“He calls you umma?” Zhoumi asked with a raised eyebrow. It seemed a bit strange; not the fact that the little boy called a man umma, but the fact that Leeteuk was the toddler’s nanny, not his umma.

“Yeah, his real umma is kind of out of the picture,” Leeteuk explained, glad that Kangin was busy trying to get Donghae to stop waving his ‘Flying Sausage Man’ around before he managed to stick the sausage into someone’s eye.

“Ah. Do you think that-“

Ryeowook tugged Leeteuk’s sleeve again and the nanny turned his attention to the toddler before Zhoumi could finish his sentence. The boy whined loudly and reached out for his glass of water which was slightly out of his reach.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Wook, here you go,” he apologised as he took the cup and lifted it to Ryeowook’s mouth. He didn’t exactly trust the toddler to lift the cup himself. When he sat the cup down again he turned to Zhoumi. “I’m sorry, you were saying?” he asked in an apologetic tone.

“I was just wondering if you would want to go out with me sometime? You know... without kids?” Zhoumi asked.

Leeteuk looked surprised for a second, not knowing exactly how to answer. “I... Okay,” he responded, still a bit uncertain and surprised by Zhoumi’s straightforwardness.

“Great! I can’t wait to spend more time alone with you,” Zhoumi beamed, winking at Leeteuk with an expectant glint in his eyes that made Leeteuk blush a deep red.

Before anyone could do or say anything, a scoop of mashed potato landed on Zhoumi’s left shoulder. The chatter in the room fell quiet and everyone looked at the scoop in stunned silence. Then another one made its way to Zhoumi’s cheek.

“Gwiraffe man take umma!” Wookie wailed, his hands dirty with mashed potato as he took another scoop and threw it at Zhoumi, who was too stunned to react. “No take umma, umma Wookies’s! Umma no leave Wookie!” the distressed toddler cried, terrified at the prospect of this very tall man taking his umma. His umma belonged at home with him and his family and the giraffe man was evil for planning to take him away!

“Ryeowook, I am not leaving you,” Leeteuk said, horrified by the toddler’s behaviour. “I’m so sorry, Zhoumi, I… God, Heechul, give him my number! I’ll take you out to dinner and explain later, okay?” he said to a still stunned Zhoumi who could only nod in response.

“My Armani,” he choked out, standing up and making his way to the bathroom to save his jacket.

Kangin came over to the crying toddler and began drying off the mashed potatoes from his hands and face. “Ryeowook, you do _not_ throw things at people, do you understand me?” he said in a very stern voice. It was difficult for him to scold his son in this situation when he felt very sympathetic with Ryeowook’s reaction. On the other hand, he didn’t want Leeteuk to be chained to the toddler and not be able to have a life outside the house when he wanted to. His son needed to understand that Leeteuk was not leaving just because he paid attention to other people than Ryeowook and his three brothers.

Ryeowook stopped wailing but continued to sniffle loudly as he looked at his appa, fat tears still rolling down his cheeks. “Gwiraffe man take umma ‘way,” he sniffled brokenly, trying to make his appa understand the severity of the situation. He sniffled loudly, trying to not cry again.

“No, he was just talking about a play date with Teukie umma, bunny. Like when you play with Minnie,” Kangin explained, using terms that would hopefully explain the situation in a way that a 2-year-old would understand. He felt like he was doing a lousy job in defending Leeteuk seeing other people when he himself felt a strange inclination to ask him not to go out with the tall designer.

Leeteuk decided to take over and lifted Ryeowook out of his high chair so he could sit on his lap facing him. “Wookie, I want you to listen to me,” he demanded in a firm but gentle voice that wouldn’t scare the still sniffling toddler. Ryeowook nodded, his eyes directed at Leeteuk’s stomach. “I am not leaving you. I am not leaving you today and I am not leaving you tomorrow or any day in the future. I can go see other people and I can be gone for day or two, but I will always, _always_ come back to you. Do you understand?”

Ryeowook’s face screwed up as a fresh round of tears started before he threw his tiny body towards Leeteuk and squished his neck with his chubby arms. “Wookie love umma. Umma Wookie’s!” the tiny toddler cried as he clung to Leeteuk.

“I love you too, Wookie. And I’m not just yours, I’m also Siwon’s and Donghae’s and Hyukjae’s if they want me,” Leeteuk assured while stroking the toddler’s back to calm him down and stop his tears. It seemed this day had been too long and eventful for the toddler, and this was just the last straw for him.

“And appa’s?” Ryeowook sniffled, letting go of Leeteuk’s neck so he could sit down on his lap again instead.

Leeteuk’s eyes met Kangin’s. “And appa’s,” he promised, not letting go of Kangin’s gaze. Ryeowook whimpered on his lap. “I think you are tired, bunny. It’s been a long day. Let’s go home and get some sleep,” Leeteuk suggested before he got up, the toddler sitting safely on his arm. “No, it’s fine, just stay here until you are done, I can find my way home,” Leeteuk said with a reassuring smile when Kangin rose as well to gather the other three boys. “Thank you so much for dinner and for a lovely day, but I think Wookie and I need to go home and sleep now.” He bowed towards Heechul and Hangeng and then went to the hall to find Ryeowook’s shoes and jacket, Kangin trailing after him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why he is acting out like that. Of course you can date if you want to,” Kangin tried to assure Leeteuk while helping him put the shoes on Ryeowook who was still clutching Leeteuk tightly and protested loudly when the nanny tried to place him in the stroller.

Leeteuk blushed slightly at Kangin’s words. “It’s okay, I think I understand why he acts this way. Could you take the stroller home with you when you leave? Wook, you have to sit with your appa for a while, while I put on my shoes.” He somehow managed to coax the toddler into agreeing and allowing Leeteuk to hand him over to Kangin. As soon as he had put on his shoes, Ryeowook stretched out his arms to be handed back over to his umma. “I’ll put him to bed when we get home. Maybe see if he wants a snack first, since he didn’t really eat that much here. You don’t have to hurry home, let the boys have their fun with their friends,” Leeteuk said with a smile which Kangin returned with a nod. He kissed Ryeowook goodnight and went back into the house to join the others again. Just as Leeteuk was opening the door to leave, Zhoumi came out of the bathroom, having shed his jacket. Leeteuk felt his cheeks heat up once again at how good the other man’s arms and chest looked in the dress shirt. “I’m really sorry, Zhoumi. Heechul will give you my number and then you can call or text me later and we can set something up. I’ll pay,” he offered with an apologetic smile.

Zhoumi gave him a blinding smile in return. “I’ll look forward to it. And there are no hard feelings, it was just a jacket,” Zhoumi shrugged. After all, it _had_ landed him a date with a gorgeous man, so he figured he could survive the loss of his jacket.

“Ryeowook, you owe Zhoumi an apology,” Leeteuk chided gently, giving Ryeowook a little boost on his arm.

The toddler turned to Zhoumi with a pout. “Wookie sowwie,” he mumbled, his lower lip jutting out.

Zhoumi grinned and ruffled the toddler’s hair. “It’s okay, baobei, I’m sure you and I can become good friends if you want to,” he offered. It was hard not to chuckle at the small boy’s adorable pout.

“Gwiraffe man Wookie’s fwiend?” Ryeowook asked, eyes widening in wonder. He always liked making new friends.

“Yeah,” Zhoumi replied, bending down and placing a kiss on Ryeowook’s cheek that made the toddler giggle. “Goodnight, baobei.”

Ryeowook rubbed his eyes with his small chubby hands with a yawn before he snuggled closer to Leeteuk and closed his eyes. He didn’t see when Zhoumi leaned over him and placed a soft kiss on Leeteuk’s cheek as well.

“And goodnight to you.” He winked and smiled widely, causing Leeteuk to blush again.

He mumbled a muffled goodnight before beginning his journey back to the Kim house. Because of Ryeowook’s clinginess he had left the stroller for Kangin to take later since he couldn’t carry the toddler and push the stroller at the same time. While walking home his thoughts kept circling around the tall Chinese male who had looked ridiculously sexy in the tight, white dress shirt. Despite his past, he thought it might be time to try dating again. Zhoumi seemed like a very nice guy and Leeteuk felt like he had nothing to lose by giving him a chance. When he made it home Ryeowook had fallen asleep. He somehow managed to take his shoes off without walking the sleeping toddler. He managed to get Ryeowook’s shoes and clothes off him and change his diaper, the toddler sleeping soundly through it all. Leeteuk figured that brushing the boy’s teeth could wait until the morning. He gently lifted the sleeping boy up and carried him to his crib, tucking him in and kissing his cheek softly. He couldn’t help the affectionate smile that adorned his face when Ryeowook mumbled softly in his sleep. He only caught the words ‘Wookie’ and ‘umma’ but it didn’t seem like the toddler was having a bad dream, so he figured everything was okay.


	15. Long Night

Kangin came home with the three older boys an hour and a half later. The twins kept yawning while Kangin and Leeteuk helped them get ready for bed. Kangin managed the brushing of teeth while Leeteuk helped Siwon find his pyjamas pants that were mysteriously missing.

“Will you come tuck us in, Teukie umma?” Hyukjae asked when he was ready to go to bed.

“Yes, of course, sweetie,” Leeteuk answered when he came back into the bathroom after successfully finding Siwon’s pyjamas pants.

“Stupid toothbrush!” Donghae suddenly shouted, throwing the toothbrush at the mirror and startling everyone present.

“What happened, Hae?” Kangin asked with a little frown, picking up the toothbrush and removing the froth on the mirror with a paper towel.

“It’s just stupid,” Donghae sulked, sending his twin brother and their nanny a nasty glare as if it was their fault, before stomping off to his room.

Hyukjae looked after him with wide eyes before looking at Leeteuk. “Does Hae hate me now?” he asked, tears gathering in his eyes.

Leeteuk immediately pulled the small boy into a hug. “No, he’s just tired,” he assured the older twin, even if he wasn’t sure that was the only reason Donghae was acting out. He gently led Hyukjae into the twins’ room as well, tucking him in and pressing a goodnight kiss onto his forehead while Kangin kissed Donghae and then they switched.

“Goodnight, Hae, sleep tight,” Leeteuk whispered once he turned to tuck him in. The boy lay with his back to the room, facing the wall. He didn’t answer Leeteuk even though the adult knew he was still awake. The nanny let out a soft sigh before making his way to Siwon’s room.

“Is Hae mad?” the oldest child asked, having witnessed the scene in the bathroom when he passed by to go to his room. Leeteuk nodded as he down on the edge of the bed, taking the Harry Potter book from the night stand. The boy looked at the adult before sitting up and wrapping his arms around him. “Don’t be sad, Teukie. He misses our real umma. She liked him a lot,” Siwon explained in the hopes of making Leeteuk happy again. He hadn’t even gotten around to asking if he wanted to be his umma too and he thought he probably shouldn’t ask now when Leeteuk was sad.

“I know,” Leeteuk sighed softly and hugged the boy back. He sent Siwon a fond smile when the boy released him and sat down on the bed again. “You all miss her, don’t you?”

“Well, I don’t think Wookie remembers her. He was very small when she left. Donghae misses her a lot but he doesn’t like to admit it. I think she liked him the most of us,” he mused with a serious expression.

Leeteuk couldn’t help but ask, “What about you, Wonnie?”

The boy looked down at his hands for a little while before speaking. “I miss having an umma,” he answered slowly. “But I don’t miss her,” he said, voice not strong enough to cover up the fact that it was a lie. “She didn’t want us anymore.”

Leeteuk’s heart broke completely at the sight of the small boy trying to keep his tears from falling as he tried to convince himself that he didn’t miss his umma. He put the book down and gently pulled Siwon closer until he was sitting on his lap, wrapping the blanket around him gently. “Sweetie, it’s okay to say you miss your umma,” he said softly, holding the now crying boy close.

“But she didn’t want us anymore!”

Leeteuk honestly didn’t know how to respond. After all, it really did seem like their mother hadn’t wanted them and had left for something she thought was ‘better’. He gently stroked Siwon’s hair while trying to calm the boy down. “I don’t know your mother, Siwon, and I don’t know why she thought that there was anything more important than you in this world. But it’s her loss. You are wonderful and she won’t get to see that because she made a stupid choice. You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise you that.”

“Will you be my umma?” Siwon asked in a low voice, hiccupping slightly from crying.

“I can never replace your real umma, but I can try my best to give you the love your umma was supposed to give you,” he answered, hoping that it was understandable for the eight-year-old.

Siwon nodded and rested his head on Leeteuk’s shoulder, still sniffling. “Can I call you umma?” he asked softly.

“If you want to, you can,” Leeteuk said, pressing a kiss to the top of Siwon’s head.

“Can we just stay like this instead of reading tonight, umma?” Siwon asked, testing out the word that had a foreign feeling to it after not having been used for so long.

“Mmh,” Leeteuk hummed while nodding, rocking the young boy slowly. He soon started humming the soft tune of a lullaby that his mother used to sing to him when he was young. He felt Siwon relax in his arms and the boy was soon half asleep. He gently stood up, laying the boy down and tucking him in before kissing his forehead.

“Umma?” Siwon asked sleepily, earning him a hum in response. “Yesung asked if you would be his uncle if you said yes to be my umma. Will you?” He opened his eyes halfway, looking at the nanny with a mixture of expectation and sleepiness.

“Of course,” Leeteuk replied, smiling Siwon’s thoughtfulness towards his friend. It was cute. He brushed the hair away from his forehead and kissed him again. “Sleep tight, sweetie.”

 

 

Leeteuk woke with a start, brought out of his dream by a knocking sound somewhere. He wasn’t sure if it was in his dream or in real life, though. He looked at the clock on his bed stand; it was 2.44. He had just settled down again when a soft knock was heard on his door, making him jump in surprise. He stood up, slightly scared of what he might find on the other side of the door. It was a little cold in the room, which made him shiver as he opened the door just a bit to peek out into the hallway. A small whimper made him look down and open the door completely.

“What’s the matter, Hyuk?” He crouched down to be level with the shivering boy.

“I had a bad dream,” he whimpered. Leeteuk opened his arms in invitation and he immediately threw himself into the warm embrace. “Can I sleep with you, umma?” Hyukjae murmured against Leeteuk’s chest.

“Yes, of course,” Leeteuk responded, hooking his arm under the boy’s thighs and lifting him up so they could go to the bed. Once Hyukjae was tucked in beside Leeteuk, he whimpered again and moved closer to him. “Do you want to tell me about it? That way it won’t happen in real life,” Leeteuk offered softly, holding the small boy who was curled up so he was basically just a shivering lump with a head right now.

“I dreamt the other umma came and took us away from appa and you,” he admitted with a sniffle.

Leeteuk gently carded his fingers through the older twin’s hair. “Well, appa won’t ever give you up and neither will I,” he assured Hyukjae. “She won’t be able to take you away unless you want to go with her.”

“I don’t want to, I want to stay with you and appa,” Hyukjae whimpered, pressing himself closer to Leeteuk.

“Then you will stay with me and appa,” Leeteuk promised. “Go to sleep now, sweetie, you’ve had a long day,” he said before he started to hum softly again, soon humming both Hyukjae and himself off to dreamland.

 

 

The next time Leeteuk woke up it was to a strong feeling of déjà vu. He looked at the clock and saw that it was now 6.37. The knocking on his door got louder along with a hiss of ‘Leeteuk, wake up please’. He quickly stumbled out of bed, managing to not wake Hyukjae in the process, before opening the door only to receive a hard knock on his forehead. “Ouch!” he exclaimed, feelings of grumpiness bubbling to the surface over the assault this early in the morning. He rubbed his forehead, still not looking at the guilty person.

“Sorry! I can’t find Hyukjae! I was going to take a swim and I wanted to check on them and he is not in his bed and I-“

He shut up when Leeteuk moved to the side allowing Kangin to see the sleeping boy in his bed. “He had a nightmare and came knocking at three AM this morning,” Leeteuk explained, finally looking up, only to quickly avert his eyes down again, a furious blush spreading in his cheeks. It seemed Kangin really had been on his way to the pool. He was wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks, leaving his toned upper body completely exposed. Leeteuk tried to quickly quell the surge of attraction he felt towards the older man all of a sudden.

“Oh... I’m sorry, I just got really worried,” Kangin apologised, his shoulders slumping forward in slight embarrassment over his panic. Not only had he woken Leeteuk up very early in the morning for what turned out to be no reason at all, he had also accidentally hit his nanny in the face when he didn’t realise in time that the door had been replaced by said man’s face. He looked at the blushing man and suddenly realised two things; one, he was not wearing anything but his swimming trunks, which might very well be what was causing Leeteuk’s current embarrassment, and two, Leeteuk looked extremely cute with a bed head, blushing cheeks, and oversized shirt.

“It’s okay,” Leeteuk mumbled while trying to fight a yawn but ultimately failing.

“You can go back to bed, I am sorry I woke you up,” Kangin murmured, still feeling bad.

“It’s okay, you were worried,” Leeteuk said, giving Kangin a little nod without meeting his eyes before closing the door and going back to the bed. He was careful not to wake Hyukjae as he lay down beside the sleeping boy. Even though he was tired, his mind was preoccupied. He felt more than a little embarrassed over the way he had reacted to the two male torsos he had been exposed to during the last 14 hours. “I need to go on a date soon,” he grumbled lowly to himself before drifting off.

 

 

He woke up later because someone was poking his nose, the sound of little giggles reaching his ears. He whined slightly, not really a big morning person, before slowly opening his eyes. He was met with the sight of a giggling Hyukjae, whose face was only inches away from his as he continued to poke his nose.

“’Moning umma!” he chirped happily. He squealed loudly when Leeteuk suddenly lifted him up in the air, placing his feet on his stomach and letting him ‘fly’ while he held his hands to keep him safe.

“Morning you little rascal,” Leeteuk laughed; Hyukjae’s giggles were very contagious. He gently let the boy down again so he was lying on top of him, still giggling like he had just told the funniest joke ever. “Should we go check on your brothers?” he asked to which Hyukjae nodded enthusiastically, crawling out of bed quickly to go to his brothers. Leeteuk followed, noting that it had only been an hour since Kangin woke him up. Entering the twins’ room he saw that Donghae was already awake. “Good morning, Hae,” he greeted cheerfully. Donghae looked at them before harshly turning his back on the both of them. Leeteuk one again felt like he had received a slap in the face at the boy’s clear rejection of him.

“Let me talk to him.” Kangin had made his way into the room after them, his hair still damp from his morning, now wearing trousers and a shirt. He sat down beside Donghae on the edge of the bed. “Could you wake the two others?” he asked.

Leeteuk nodded numbly before letting Hyukjae lead him from the room.

“Don’t worry, umma, he likes you,” Hyukjae said soothingly. Leeteuk failed to see how clear rejection was equal liking but he didn’t say anything as they made their way into Ryeowook’s room which was closest to the twins’ room.

As it turned out, Ryeowook was already awake, sitting in his crib and happily playing with Kiki. “Umma!” he exclaimed happily as he saw said man enter the room. He immediately stood up and lifted his arms to get up, Kiki clutched tightly in one hand.

“Good morning, Wookie,” Leeteuk smiled as he lifted Ryeowook out of the crib. “Did you sleep well?”

“Wookie dream of gwiraffes!” the toddler told him brightly with big eyes.

“Was it a nice dream?” Leeteuk chuckled as Hyukjae came skipping to his side after having examined some toys lying on the floor. Ryeowook nodded furiously. “Do you want to go wake up Siwon?” Leeteuk asked as Hyukjae took a hold of his pyjamas shirt seeing as his hands were occupied by his youngest brother.

“Wonnie!” the toddler squealed. Leeteuk interpreted that as a yes and so they made their way to the oldest Kim boy’s room. He walked straight to Siwon’s bed before he lifted Ryeowook down to sit on the sleeping boy’s stomach, causing both Ryeowook and Hyukjae to giggle.

“Wonnie morning!” Ryeowook sang before almost smacking Kiki into his brother’s face to make sure his brother was greeted properly by the giraffe.

Siwon opened his eyes with a huge smile playing on his lips. “Good morning Wookie, morning Hyukkie, morning umma,” he responded, his voice slightly hoarse from sleeping.

“Good morning Siwon,” Kangin greeted as he and Donghae entered the room together. Donghae immediately went over to Hyukjae and latched onto his arm without a word. The older twin just smiled widely, knowing that his brother didn’t always talk much. “Should we go get some breakfast?” Kangin asked, making the boys nod in affirmation before they started to make their way to the bathroom at different speeds, leaving Kangin and Leeteuk behind. “Don’t worry about Hae. He is struggling a bit to adjust but he doesn’t hate you,” he said with an encouraging smile. Leeteuk returned the gesture and nodded before they both made their way towards the bathroom to assist the four boys with the morning madness of getting washed and dressed for the day.


	16. Rebel

Things went relatively smoothly for the next 3 weeks. Siwon, Hyukjae and Ryeowook had adopted Leeteuk as their umma with no more questions asked. Donghae, however, still seemed cold towards Leeteuk at times, but the adult tried not to take it to heart too much. As it was still summer break, they spent a lot of time together as a family, trying to take the children’s wishes of activities into account when planning what to do for the day.

“I want to draw!” Hyukjae declared with an excited smile on his face.

“Dwarw!” Ryeowook chirped happily as he clapped his hands and jumped up and down in the seat of his highchair.

“Do you two want to draw too?” Leeteuk asked Donghae and Siwon. Donghae just shrugged and moved closer to Hyukjae while Siwon nodded.

“Appa, you want to draw with us too?” Siwon asked hopefully. He had very much liked spending more time with his appa these past three weeks and he hoped that he could continue spending more time with him in the future now that they had an umma to help with everything.

“Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve drawn,” Kangin said with a smile as he gathered the plates and cups and began filling the dishwasher. “The drawing stuff is in the cupboard to the right in the playroom, could you go find them, Teukie?”

“Sure,” Leeteuk agreed easily and went to the playroom, crouching down at the said cupboard to find what was needed. He scrambled around for a bit, trying to find all the colouring pens and markers as well as the art aprons for the kids, only to jump in surprise when a small hand shot over his shoulder into the cupboard and grabbed one of the aprons.

“Will you help me put it on, Teukie umma?” Siwon asked sweetly.

“Yes, of course, Siwonnie,” Leeteuk said, heart still racing in his chest at the little shock; he hadn’t heard Siwon following him. “Could you carry the other aprons? I’ll get the pens and paper.”

Siwon nodded eagerly and gathered the aprons in his arms before he made his way to the kitchen with a certain skip in his steps. He was proud that he could help his new umma.

“Dwarw gwiraffe!” Ryeowook demanded while looking sternly at Kangin just as Leeteuk came into the room with all the drawing utensils; the toddler was trying hard to convince his appa of the importance of drawing a giraffe for him.

Kangin had laid a wax tablecloth on the table that could easily be wiped clean afterwards if one of the kids accidentally drew on the table. He was shaking his head with fond amusement while trying to help the squirming toddler get his apron on before he placed a piece of paper in front of him. “What colour do you want, bunny?” he asked.

Ryeowook looked like he was faced with a life-changing decision as he tried to make up his mind. “Gween,” he then decided and reached his hand out towards the pot with all the pens in.

Meanwhile, Leeteuk helped Hyukjae get his art apron on and turned around to help Donghae.

“No! I want appa to do it!” the younger twin yelled as soon as he realised that Leeteuk was going to try to help him.

Once again Leeteuk felt like he had received a slap to the face. He understood from what Siwon had told him that Donghae had been the closest to their umma so it was very natural that Donghae was still trying to be loyal to his mother and acted with rejection towards Leeteuk, even if she had not returned that loyalty and left them instead. Kangin sent Leeteuk an unreadable look before helping Donghae put on the apron. The two adults then sat down to join in the already industrious production of drawings.

“Look!” Ryeowook exclaimed, waving his drawing around happily.

“It’s very pretty, bunny,” Kangin praised, having absolutely no idea what the six different-sized blobs were supposed to be. “Do you want me to write what it is?” he asked, sneakily thinking he could get the toddler to explain what it was by doing so.

“Is appa and umma and Wookie and Wonnie and Hyukkie and Hae!” the toddler explained, pointing to each blob with enthusiasm.

Kangin dutifully wrote the names under each appointed blob and then Ryeowook’s name and the date in the upper left corner. “Want to hang it on the fridge?” he asked to which Ryeowook nodded furiously.

Once Kangin had hung the drawing on the fridge with a crocodile magnet, Ryeowook beamed proudly. “Gwiraffe!” he then demanded of his appa.

“Yes, I am trying,” Kangin laughed as he turned back to his attempt at drawing a giraffe.

“What are you drawing, Siwon?” Leeteuk asked the oldest boy.

Siwon’s tongue was poking out in concentration as he used a darker green pen than the one Ryeowook had just used. “I’m trying to make a turtle for Yesungie,” Siwon said, not losing his concentration for even a second as he drew the pattern of the turtle’s shell.

“It’s very pretty. I love that it’s smiling,” Leeteuk commented, causing Siwon to look up and smile proudly at the compliment.

“Umma, loo-“

“He is NOT your umma!” Donghae yelled, interrupting Hyukjae as he slammed the pen he had been using down on the table.

Hyukjae only looked surprised for a second before anger welled up in his expression. “He IS! He said he wanted to be my umma!” Hyukjae yelled back, equally angry at being told that Leeteuk was not his umma when the man had agreed to be.

“Boys, cut it out!” Kangin said sternly over the argument.

Donghae turned towards Kangin, looking completely furious before he turned to Leeteuk instead. “You are not my umma! I HATE you!” he screamed and jumped off his chair, pushing it over before running out of the kitchen.

The outburst had come like lightning from a clear sky, rendering Leeteuk frozen in place for a second, completely shocked by the youngest twin’s outburst. He snapped out of it when Hyukjae began crying, which caused Ryeowook to start crying as well, even though the toddler didn’t understand what was going on; he just didn’t like it when his brothers fought. Leeteuk quickly lifted Ryeowook out of his highchair and then beckoned Hyukjae to come over, lifting him up so he had a child on each thigh.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Kangin said once he was sure the situation in the kitchen wasn’t worse than Leeteuk could handle.

“Shh, it’s okay, don’t cry,” Leeteuk said though it didn’t have much effect. Siwon jumped from his chair and went to Leeteuk’s side where he tried to calm Ryeowook down.

“Hae said you’re not umma!” Hyukjae wailed, almost bursting Leeteuk’s eardrums. The nanny held the panicked boy closer, only to have Ryeowook throw himself at him as well so he wouldn’t be left out.

“Hyuk, I’m you umma if you want me to be,” Leeteuk said in a calm voice to reach the wailing twin.

Hyukjae stopped wailing, but he was still hiccupping, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Hae’s stupid!”

“No, he’s not, he’s just having a hard time right now. It’s not something the two of you should fight over,” Leeteuk reasoned as he hugged both boys closely.

Siwon stood by his side, gently stroking Ryeowook’s back to calm the toddler down. “Umma is umma. Hae is just sad because he misses the other umma,” Siwon mused before hugging Hyukjae from behind as much as he could in the position they were in. Hyukjae pressed himself closer to Leeteuk, whimpering softly though his hiccups had mostly subsided by now. Ryeowook had also calmed down but was still snuggling close to Leeteuk to suck up the feeling of security he had felt every time he was this close to the nanny.

“Donghae will be fine, he is just having a hard time right now,” Leeteuk repeated. “I don’t want you to be too hard on him, okay? He will come around eventually. Just give him time.” Leeteuk was trying his best to word his thoughts in a way all three of them would understand. Nothing could destroy relationships between siblings like parents. He was touched that the three boys defended him, but he didn’t want them to freeze Donghae out or be angry at him because of it.

“But he said you weren’t my umma,” Hyukjae sniffled.

“That’s because I am not your real umma. That doesn’t mean that I can’t love you like an umma, but Donghae misses your real umma a lot. You miss her too and that is perfectly alright. You are allowed to miss her. I won’t be sad or angry because you do. I’m not angry at Donghae for yelling at me. He is just very, very sad right now and we need to help him, not be angry at him.”

Hyukjae and Siwon nodded in understanding while Ryeowook yawned, not really listening to what was being said anymore now that everyone seemed calm again.

“Look, I need to go check on Donghae and your appa. Can you be alone for a few minutes?” he asked, worried about Donghae. The boys nodded and Leeteuk helped Hyukjae down before setting Ryeowook on the floor. Then he went to locate Kangin and Donghae.

“Donghae, I know you are upset but I don’t want you to yell at people like that,” Kangin’s voice came from the dining room. Leeteuk vaguely remembered Kangin saying something about it never being used since the boys’ mother left.

“He is not my umma,” Donghae replied stubbornly.

“I know and if you don’t want to call him umma that is okay. But I don’t want to see that behaviour again,” Kangin said sternly.

“Why can’t umma come back? Did you ask her to stay away?” Donghae asked accusingly, angry tears in his eyes.

“I didn’t ask her to stay away, I asked her to come back. I’m sorry, Donghae, I am really doing my best here,” Kangin said with a hint of defensiveness, feeling worn out at the accusations from his second youngest son. Sora had spoiled Donghae and the child had had a hard time understanding that Sora had left because she wanted to and not because someone asked her to.

“You are not doing enough!” Donghae yelled before running from the room again, almost bumping into Leeteuk. He glared angrily at the adult before running off.

Leeteuk entered the room, finding Kangin sitting at the fancy mahogany table with his head in his hands. “Do you want to be alone or do you want to talk?” he asked tentatively. He received no response for several long seconds.

“Am I really not doing enough?” Kangin asked in a broken voice. It didn’t take a lot to destroy his confidence in his abilities as a parent, and having one of his sons tell him that he was not doing enough was a blow he couldn’t deal with right now. Ever since Sora left he had felt like he was drowning in the insecurities of raising his children in a good way. He wanted only the best for his kids and he oftentimes felt like he was not the best.

“You are doing the best you can. That is enough,” Leeteuk answered softly, wanting to hug the man and take away his insecurities. “Do you know where Donghae went?” he asked softly.

“Probably his room or the garden,” Kangin answered, still not looking up.

“I’ll call Heechul and ask him to come over. Then I’ll draw with the boys until he comes. If you need a minute, that’s okay. I can manage,” Leeteuk assured.

Kangin sighed before getting up slowly. “I promised Ryeowook to draw a giraffe for him,” he said with a sigh before looking hesitantly at Leeteuk. “Would you find it weird and inappropriate if I said I really needed a hug?” he asked, sounding completely disheartened.

Leeteuk had a hard time hiding his smile as he walked the few steps to Kangin and pulled him into a tight embrace. Kangin looked like a lost child, needing assurance that he was still loved. “There is nothing wrong with needing a hug,” Leeteuk whispered softly.

Kangin hummed and hid his face in Leeteuk’s neck, just like his sons did when they hugged him. He found Leeteuk’s smell strangely calming and he felt some of the turmoil inside of him calm down. “Thank you,” he sheepishly said as he pulled away from the hug.

“No need to thank me,” Leeteuk said with an assuring smile. They went back to the kitchen together, glad to see the kids were still okay. Leeteuk stepped out again almost immediately to call Heechul as he had promised.

“Should we make that giraffe, Wook?” Kangin asked, trying to mask the hoarseness of his voice with a smile.

Ryeowook looked up at him from where he had been playing on the floor. He frowned and got up, waddling over to Kangin who caught him and lifted him up on his arm. Ryeowook put his chubby arms around Kangin’s neck and planted a big kiss that was more saliva than anything else on his cheek. “Appa no sad. Wookie love appa,” the toddler assure before nuzzling Kangin’s cheek. Of course his appa was sad; Ryeowook had spent a lot of time with his umma lately so his appa probably felt forgotten.

Kangin’s eyes watered at the toddler’s gesture. “I know, Wookie. I love you too,” he whispered as he cradled the toddler closely.

“Heechul and Hangeng will be here as soon as they can,” Leeteuk said when he entered the kitchen again. He felt bad for interrupting the tender moment between father and son but Kangin just smiled gratefully at him.

“I need to finish my turtle!” Siwon squeaked when he realised that Yesung would be coming over soon. He ran to the table, quickly found the right colour and began finishing the pattern on the turtle’s shell.

“Appa, can I go look for Hae?” Hyukjae asked quietly. He didn’t like arguing with his twin brother at all and he wanted to make sure the younger was okay.

“Yeah, just please don’t get into a fight again,” Kangin said seriously.

Hyukjae nodded with a little smile. “We won’t,” he promised before leaving the kitchen to find Donghae.

Leeteuk sat down beside Siwon and looked over at Kangin and Ryeowook. The toddler sat on Kangin’s lap, pointing out what to draw next on the giraffe while Kangin tried to follow the rather complicated instructions.

“Boots!” Ryeowook exclaimed, pointing at the giraffe’s feet.

“Rubber boots?” Kangin suggested, impressed by the toddler’s great imagination. Ryeowook nodded happily. “What colour?”

“Wranch.”

“Wranch?” Kangin asked, not sure which colour that was. Ryeowook just nodded and looked expectantly at his appa with a bright smile.

“Orange, I think,” Leeteuk supplied from the other side of the table. Ryeowook nodded again.

“I’m glad you have a built-in toddler dictionary,” Kangin laughed, picking an orange pen before beginning to draw boots on the giraffe.

“Do you need any help, Siwon?” Leeteuk asked the oldest boy.

Siwon looked at the drawing thoughtfully. “How do you write ‘to Yesungie from Siwonnie’?” he asked, not sure how to spell Yesung’s name.

Leeteuk grabbed a pen and wrote the words in capital letters on a blank piece of paper. Siwon started copying it, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he concentrated on writing. The letters jumped and grew in size but Leeteuk made sure to tell him he had done a great job once he finished nonetheless. Half an hour later the doorbell rang loudly, signalling the arrival of Heechul and Hangeng.


	17. Anger Management

”What happened?” Heechul asked, voice filled with worry. Hangeng was helping Yesung and Sungmin out of their shoes and fleeces while Heechul had gone straight to Leeteuk.

“Donghae had a minor meltdown and yelled at me saying that I am not his umma and then afterwards he yelled at Kangin, telling him he was not a good appa. I think Kangin and I need to talk about this sooner rather than later. Donghae seems to be struggling with me being here and he expresses it through anger. I think we need to address that as soon as possible so he can start being a happy little boy again instead of this,” Leeteuk explained seriously.

Heechul nodded. “Take your time. We can stay all day,” he assured him before heading to the kitchen. He walked directly to Kangin and hugged the man tightly. “You are not a bad father. Remember that,” he said quietly in encouragement before turning around and greeting Siwon and Ryeowook with a huge smile.

“Yesungie, I made you a drawing,” Siwon said shyly, holding out the drawing to the younger while biting his lip nervously.

“A turtle!” Yesung squealed, hugging first the drawing and then Siwon.

A soft smile spread on Kangin’s face at the sight. “I’m not sure where the twins are,” he said directed at Heechul a second before the two boys came bouncing into the room.

“Uncle Heechul!” Donghae yelled before jumping into his uncle’s arms. “Why are you here?” he asked curiously.

“Your appa and Leeteuk need some time to talk so Uncle Hannie and I are going to spoil you rotten while they do,” Heechul grinned, his explanation causing both twins to giggle.

Kangin smiled at his best friend’s antics before Leeteuk caught his eyes, subtly motioning for them to go somewhere else. They ended up in the play room, sitting beside each other on the sofa once again.

“I don’t know what we should do with him. I don’t know how to get through to him,” Kangin sighed.

“I think we just need to give him time. And make it very clear to him that he is not forced to call me umma and that I am not trying to take Sora’s place in his life,” Leeteuk replied before leaning forward, his elbows resting on his thighs and his head resting in his hands.

“We’re one big mess, aren’t we?” Kangin chuckled humourlessly.

Leeteuk laughed dryly. “Tell me about it.”

“All the same I’m very glad you are here to help me with the boys. It’s nice to have the insight of someone else who has a lot more experience than me,” Kangin admitted with a small smile.

Leeteuk looked sideways and sent a smile back. “Do you think he will ever warm up to me?” he then asked. He hoped Donghae would grow to accept him, but he didn’t know if he would. It seemed he had a lot of unresolved business with his mother, and since his mother wasn’t present in his life, Leeteuk wondered just how they were going to help him through it.

“I don’t know. I have no idea how deeply Sora leaving affected him, though it’s clear your popularity with his brothers somehow makes him more aware of her absence. He is very difficult to read because he always internalises things and doesn’t let it show. Except for his outbursts of anger, that is. We have to address them,” Kangin sighed again.

“I know. Maybe we should try to talk to him now. He might get angry again, but it’s better to try rather than just leaving it,” Leeteuk suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll go get him,” Kangin said as he stood up to go get his second youngest son.

Leeteuk remained where he was, letting his thoughts run while trying to figure out how to best explain to the distressed boy that he didn’t want to hurt him or push his umma out of the picture. It saddened him that Donghae was so hurt by Sora’s actions that his initial reaction to a present adult that was introduced after she left brought such distrust and anger with it, thought it was understandable. Some actions were hard to understand even for adults, so it was foolish to expect a child to understand, and if Donghae still believed his umma would come back one day, it wasn’t strange that he was angry at Leeteuk for taking the spot that in his opinion should be left empty for his umma.

Kangin came in again with a sulking Donghae on tow. He sat down and lifted the boy up to sit on his lap. Donghae sent Leeteuk a somewhat frightened glance as if he thought he was in trouble because of Leeteuk.

“Hae, we have noticed that you seem a bit… angry sometimes,” Kangin began. Leeteuk kept quiet for now, waiting for Kangin to ask him directly before joining the conversation. “Can I talk to you without you getting angry now?” Kangin asked, continuing when Donghae nodded hesitantly. “I did not ask your umma to leave.”

Donghae’s face fell and his eyes began to brim with tears.

“I know you miss her, Hae. I know all of you miss her and that’s okay. I would be worried if you didn’t. But I don’t think she is coming back.”

At this Donghae buried his head in Kangin’s shoulder, trying to keep his sobs in. His whole body shook with the effort and Leeteuk’s heart broke completely at the sight.

“I want her to come back,” Donghae cried into Kangin’s neck.

“I know, baby. I know.” Kangin’s eyes filled with tears at his son’s pain.

“Why doesn’t she love us anymore?” Donghae couldn’t hold his sobs in anymore. He really tried to keep faith in his umma but every day she didn’t come back it became harder and harder for him. He had come to love Leeteuk just like his brothers did but he was not ready to give up the hope of his umma coming back.

Kangin tried to fight the anger that flared up inside of him once again, directed at his ex-wife. He couldn’t say anything, he just held Donghae tighter.

“Hae, your umma loves you. She is your umma, she _can’t_ stop loving you even if she wanted to,” Leeteuk decided to take over since Kangin seemed unable to continued at the moment.

“Why did she go, then?” Donghae sobbed, only lifting his head a little so he could cast a glance at Leeteuk.

“I don’t know, sweetie. I really don’t. But I know that it wasn’t because of anything you did. You did nothing wrong.”

Donghae clung to Kangin even more as he continued to sob. Leeteuk wanted to embrace the boy and take all of his pain away, but he didn’t want to invade his private space when he already seemed distressed.

It took several minutes before Donghae calmed down, only hiccupping and sniffling now. “I don’t hate you,” Donghae whispered, eyes on Kangin’s neck rather than on Leeteuk.

Leeteuk smiled and moved a bit closer so he could stroke Donghae’s back. “I know, sweetie,” Leeteuk said and smiled softly at the young boy.

“And I don’t think you are a bad appa,” Donghae then continued in a tiny voice. He knew that he had hurt his appa by saying that he wasn’t good enough and he didn’t mean it. In his opinion, his appa was the best in the whole world.

Kangin smiled. “I know, Hae.” He then sighed. “I think it’s important that we find a way for you to tell either me or Leeteuk when you feel angry or sad, baby. Otherwise, it will just build up inside until you explode.”

Donghae looked thoughtful for a while. “Like a stomach ache?” he asked, looking first at Kangin and then at Leeteuk.

“Yeah, something like that,” Leeteuk said with a nod.

“My stomach has been hurting a lot,” Donghae then admitted with a worried whimper. At times it had felt like he was going to explode but most of the time it was just a kind of gnawing in his stomach.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s not dangerous, as long as you talk about the things that you think about. If you miss your umma then it is okay to say so. If you get angry at her for leaving, it is okay too.”

Donghae’s eyes began watering again. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to word it.

“Are you angry with her for leaving you guys?” Leeteuk asked tentatively. It was the most recommended method by a majority of child psychologists; if a child had a hard time voicing his or her emotions, the adult could try to identify and name the emotion and guess at the reason behind it. That way the child would have one specific statement to reflect on rather than having to explain all the emotions raging inside them. It could be very difficult for a child to distinguish and name all the emotions they were capable of having, so having to explain with no support from the adult listener could easily cause more anger and frustration for the child.

Donghae nodded slowly, looking at Leeteuk with big, teary eyes. Leeteuk felt relieved that this seemed to be the right method to use on the youngest twin.

“Do you want her to come back even though you are angry with her?”

Donghae nodded again.

“Are you afraid that I will take her place so that if she comes back, there is no room for her in your life?” The boy nodded, a little hesitantly this time.

“Would it be okay if you sat with me for a while?” Leeteuk asked, wanting to be closer to the twin and be able to look Donghae in the eyes to make him fully understand. Donghae nodded again and climbed over to Leeteuk’s lab by himself. Kangin just let him, feeling relieved that Leeteuk seemed to be getting through to his son.

“I don’t want to take your umma’s place. If she comes back again, then, of course, she is your umma and you should call her that. I can never replace her and I don’t want to try. I will not ask her to stay away or be angry at your brothers or you for wanting to see her or for loving her as much as you do. I really want only the best for you,” Leeteuk assured, making sure to keep eye contact with the boy.

Donghae nodded slowly showing that he understood.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to call me umma. I won’t ask you to if you don’t want to and I won’t ask you to stop if you want to. But please don’t be angry with your brothers if they call me umma. They miss your umma as well.”

“I know,” Donghae nodded seriously, only sniffling slightly now and then. He knew they missed their umma too. He and Hyukjae had spent quite a lot of time discussing their umma but Hyukjae seemed to believe that she wouldn’t come back, something Donghae wasn’t ready to agree with.

“And if you get angry or sad or anything it is okay to tell me or appa. We won’t be angry with you for being sad or angry.”

Donghae nodded before scooting closer to Leeteuk, wrapping his arms around him as far as they could go. Leeteuk was stunned only for a second before he reciprocated the hug, catching Kangin’s gaze as he looked over Donghae’s head. The older man smiled gratefully and Leeteuk returned the smile with one of his own, both relieved that Donghae seemed to have understood the importance of not bottling everything up.

“You never showed me what you were drawing. Would you like to show me now?” Leeteuk asked when Donghae pulled away from the hug.

He nodded shyly and jumped down from Leeteuk’s lap, taking his hand and began leading him back to the kitchen again. Kangin followed with a smile, only to be met by a wall of loud noise when the door to the kitchen opened.

“Whoa, how long were we gone?” Kangin called over the children’s songs that were playing almost full volume on the stereo.

Heechul was dancing around with Sungmin in one hand and Ryeowook in the other, singing along to the songs. “Not long enough,” Heechul responded with a smirk, spinning each toddler around slowly, causing loud giggles from them as they tried to keep on their feet.

Kangin shook his head and grabbed the remote to turn the volume down to a more parent-friendly level.

Hyukjae, Yesung and Siwon had taken up drawing again, only this time they used each other as they canvases while laughing loudly at the doodles in each other’s faces. Kangin and Hangeng shared a look but other than that let the three boys continue. Showers were not invented for nothing.

Donghae dragged Leeteuk to the table and searched for his drawing among the many drawings there. He found it and pointed at it happily. “It’s a monster truck! And that’s me,” he explained pointing at the happy face in the middle of the monster truck. “Look at the huge wheels!”

“That is so cool, Donghae,” Leeteuk praised. Sure, it didn’t look exactly like a monster truck but you could see that it was some kind of car. “And it’s blue; it’s my favourite colour!”

“Mine too!” Donghae exclaimed happily, glad to finally have Leeteuk’s attention all to himself. He had felt a bit left out what with all his brothers getting their turns of undivided attention from the nanny.

“Should we put your name it and hang it on the fridge?” Leeteuk asked. Donghae nodded proudly. “There you go,” Leeteuk said after he wrote Donghae’s name and the date on it. “Do you want to pick out a magnet?”

Donghae stood for a while, looking at the magnets and considering which one to choose. “That one!” he declared, pointing at a shark magnet.

“Oh, that’s a cool one,” Leeteuk agreed enthusiastically, putting the drawing up with it.

Donghae studied the drawing happily for a while before turning to Leeteuk. “Thank you,” he smiled shyly. “Can I go play with Hyukkie, Siwonnie and Yesungie now?”

“Yes, of course,” Leeteuk chuckled. Donghae happily skipped over to the three, picking up a pen and starting to doodle on Siwon’s arm without missing a beat.

“Hey, Leeteuk, when is your date with Mimi?” Heechul suddenly called from where he was lying on the floor, the two toddlers crawling all over him after they had ‘defeated’ him.

Leeteuk felt his cheeks heat up a little. “The day after tomorrow,” he answered. He had talked to the Zhoumi on the phone and found that they communicated quite well, so he was a little excited to meet up with him in person again. He didn’t know if he was ready to fall in love again but he wanted to go on a date with Zhoumi. The man was pleasant, kind, and had a very good fashion sense.

“I feel like a successful matchmaker,” Heechul declared with a proud smirk just as Sungmin decided to lie down on his face. Heechul immediately blew a raspberry on the toddler’s tummy, causing a loud squeal of laughter to go through the kitchen as he was lifted off said man’s face. “I think you need a change of diapers, Minnie,” Heechul laughed.

The toddler pouted. “Minnie not make bumbum,” he insisted. He had only peed!

“But you wet your diaper so unless you want a red butt we should go change it now.”

Sungmin pouted but nevertheless let his umma lift him up on his hip and go out to the hallway to find the diaper bag.

After his two playmates left the room, Ryeowook toddled over to Leeteuk to get more attention. “Nom!” he insisted with big eyes and a smile.

“Let’s go find some nom for you,” Leeteuk chuckled, lifting the toddler up and going to look through the fridge to survey the selection. “There are oranges, apples and bananas, what do you want?”

Ryeowook thought about it for a while before his lips split into a huge smile. “Pear!”

“There’s no pear, I’m afraid,” Leeteuk said with a small smile.

“’Nana,” Ryeowook said after a few seconds of thinking, pouting cutely. If they didn’t have any pear he would just have to settle for the second best.

Leeteuk decided to bring the entire box of fruit to the table so he could cut and serve at the same time, in case the older boys were hungry too. He placed Ryeowook in the highchair after setting the box of fruit on the table and then went to get a knife and a cutting board. While at it, he decided to grab a plate for the cut up fruit and a small bowl for the peels. When he turned back to the table he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wookie nom,” the toddler explained with big, innocent eyes, holding an apple in front of his mouth. He had already taken a large bite and managed to smear the juice all over his cheeks.

“Yes, Wookie nom,” Leeteuk agreed as he began cutting up the fruit, a big smile on his face.


	18. The Past

Ryeowook only took one more bite of the apple before spitting it out. “Owwie!” he whimpered, tears gathering in his eyes.

“What happened, bunny?” Kangin asked, coming over to the table and crouching beside the highchair he and Ryeowook were level.

The toddler pointed to his face, opening his mouth and pointing inside it. “Owwie,” he cried, stretching his arms to show that he wanted to be held.

Kangin didn’t hesitate to comply and lifted him out of the highchair so he could cradle him to his chest. “Did you bite yourself?” he asked, to which Ryeowook responded with a whimper. He gently rocked the sniffling toddler back and forth. “I think it is time for you to sleep,” Kangin said, not interested in letting Ryeowook stay up so long that he got fussy.

The toddler whimpered again. “Umma sleep,” he whined, looking at Leeteuk.

“One second,” Leeteuk said as he stood up and went to the sink to wash his hands. He then came over and took the toddler from Kangin’s embrace.

“Umma owwie,” the toddler insisted and pointed at his neck now.

Leeteuk frowned softly. “Does your neck hurt? Did you catch a cold or something?” he asked, leaning in to feel the boy’s forehead with his own. Ryeowook didn’t seem to have a fever so he brushed it off as possible fussiness, though he made a mental note to keep an eye on the toddler. He began making his way to the bathroom to change the toddler’s diaper, meeting Heechul and Sungmin as they were coming out of there.

“Wookie sleep,” Ryeowook told his friend and yawned cutely. Sungmin looked at Ryeowook and then at his mother, tugging at Heechul’s sleeve.

“Minnie sleep too?” he asked with big, hopeful eyes. He liked sleeping next to Ryeowook a lot.

“Sure, if you want to,” Heechul agreed with a smile, not one to argue if his son wanted to go down for his nap early. Sungmin giggled happily.

“We’ll be there in a sec,” Leeteuk said with a smile.

Ryeowook whimpered once again when he was laid down, so Leeteuk began humming a quiet song to calm him down while he changed his diaper. The toddler’s chubby legs kicked in the air when Leeteuk tickled his stomach lightly, causing a small giggle. “Let’s get you to bed, hmm?” Leeteuk hummed once he had gotten the toddler in his pyjamas. He made his way to Ryeowook’s room, the toddler still cradled to his chest. It was a good thing Ryeowook’s crib was rather broad so both toddlers would be able to sleep in it without anyone getting squished. Sungmin stood up in the crib, leaning against the side while he babbled happily, looking at Heechul who was trying to find his pyjamas in the diaper bag.

“Good thing I always come prepared,” he chuckled and held up the pyjamas triumphantly just as Leeteuk put Ryeowook in the crib and kissed him goodnight. Heechul quickly changed Sungmin’s clothes and the oldest toddler was quick to lie down beside the already half asleep Ryeowook. Heechul sang a short goodnight song for them and it wasn’t long before both toddlers were fast asleep. Leeteuk gently closed the door behind Heechul when the other man exited the room, making sure the baby alarm was on.

“Can I see your room?” Heechul asked, tilting his head curiously.

“Uhm… Sure?” Leeteuk replied with a puzzled look.

“It’s just that you can tell a lot about a person from their room,” Heechul said with a teasing little smile. Leeteuk had to admire his honesty. Once in the room, Heechul did not restrain himself but immediately started to look all over. He looked behind the books on the shelf, in the closet and in the drawers. Just as Leeteuk remembered the picture he had put in his sock drawer and got up from where he had been sitting on his bed to stop the older from finding it, Heechul withdrew said picture from the drawer. “Who’s this?” he asked, a sense of betrayal dripping from his tone. If Leeteuk already had a boyfriend there was nothing to justify that he was flirting with Zhoumi also. Even though Heechul liked Leeteuk, he had known Mimi for years, they were very close friends and he didn’t want to see his friend get hurt.

Leeteuk’s shoulders slumped as he sat back on the edge of his bed. He didn’t know if he was ready to tell his story yet, but seeing Heechul’s intense stare, he knew he would have to. “It’s my ex-boyfriend,” he admitted slowly.

Heechul looked closer at the picture. Leeteuk seemed younger in it. “Why do you keep it there?” Heechul demanded. He didn’t know how to read Leeteuk’s body language right now; the younger almost seemed scared, but that didn’t make a lot of sense.

“To remind myself that things are not always what they look like,” Leeteuk whispered, looking up at the older with a forlorn look in his eyes.

Heechul’s hard expression immediately softened and he sat down beside the younger. “Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked tentatively, placing a hand over Leeteuk’s hand.

Said hand began shaking but Leeteuk did his best to collect his thoughts. “I met him in my third year of high school,” he began slowly. “And he was… perfect. I fell in love with him. When I came out to my parents by introducing him to them they kicked me out. His parents took me in but they were rarely home. I was happy to be with him, but slowly he began to act… differently. More condescending. It slowly evolved into psychological abuse. I didn't... I didn't realise that it was slowly deteriorating me. I didn't realise what he was doing. And then one night he hit me several times. He hadn't hit me before. I had caught him red-handed with a girl and he didn't like that I got angry because of that. When I woke up, he wasn't in the house anymore. It was like I suddenly saw what he had done to me emotionally. I felt like a shadow of the person I used to be. I packed my things and fled the house, stayed at a friend's house at first. Later my aunt got in touch with me, after my parents finally told her why I didn't live at home anymore. She cut ties with my parents and used a lot of money trying to find me. She took me in and helped me get through university. Once I got a hold of myself I swore that if I am ever to have children, I will love them unconditionally so that no child of mine would have to depend on other people like I had to. So they will know how much they are worth and hopefully not stay with people who don’t treat them right.”

By now a steady stream of tears was flowing down Leeteuk’s cheeks and he tried to dry them off once he had finished talking. They sat in silence for a short while before Heechul threw his arms around Leeteuk’s neck and held him close. “I’m sorry. I’m so glad you got away!” he said with a loud sniffle, tightening his hold.

“There’s no need to be sorry. I learned from the experience and I am alive. I might have some emotional scars but I think I’m getting better,” Leeteuk confided as they broke apart, wishing his smile was more convincing.

“How so?”

“Well, I’m going on a date with Zhoumi,” Leeteuk replied, causing a girlish, watery giggle from Heechul. “I don’t know if I am ready to throw every single one of my cautions out of the window and just fall in love but I guess I should credit myself for actually getting out there and trying to date.”

Heechul dried his eyes and looked at Leeteuk. “You know, the boys couldn’t have gotten a better umma than you.” Leeteuk blushed. “And I hope you will find love again, whether it be Mimi or Kangin,” he said with a teasing grin, not able to stand the serious atmosphere any longer.

Leeteuk gave him a light smack on the arm but laughed nonetheless. “You really do like the idea of him and me together?”  

“Of course! You look so good together!” Heechul insisted, his grin only widening.

“Well, I still think he is straight,” Leeteuk laughed, finding Heechul’s enthusiasm sweet, albeit a little misplaced. It felt refreshing to gossip like schoolgirls for a while, though.

“He may be straight, but he sure has Leeteuk-tendencies,” Heechul winked. After 3 seconds of total silence both males burst out into laughter.

“Oh my God, you are weird,” Leeteuk panted once he had stopped laughing.

“I know. You love me anyway,” Heechul grinned, equally out of breath. “Should we go downstairs again?”

“Yeah, we better,” Leeteuk agreed and stood up, still smiling. He took the photo from Heechul and placed it back in the drawer again. He briefly considered throwing it out but decided against it. He could use the reminder from time to time.

 

 

When they came downstairs again, Henry and his boyfriend, Kyuhyun, had joined the happy group in the play room. Kyuhyun sat on the floor, covered in kids while Henry pouted from the sideline.

“What’s the matter, Henry?” Heechul asked, almost sounding a little worried. He knew him rather well by now.

“They don’t like me anymore!” Henry flailed his arms and gestured towards the very awkward looking Kyuhyun covered in happy children. Henry had taken it upon himself to force Kangin to do something relaxing that was not child related every once in a while during the past months while he would watch the boys, and he had grown rather fond of the four kids during those times. He had even been promoted to uncle Henry, but it seemed like the kids had found a new favourite play uncle.

“Uncle Kyuhyunnie, look!” Donghae yelled as he bent over and placed his hands on the floor. “I can balance on my hands!” He jumped up only to topple down on top of Hyukjae, causing them both to laugh loudly.

“Uhm... Yes, it’s... nice,” Kyuhyun replied awkwardly, sending Henry a look that clearly said ‘HELP ME!’. It was not that he didn’t like kids, he just didn’t know how to talk to them or be with them, and he felt a bit overwhelmed at the four kids who had somehow dragged him down to sit on the floor.

“Uncle Hyunnie, can you read a book?” Siwon asked with a pout as he held a book in his outstretched arms.

Kyuhyun looked up at the other adults, the plea of help clear on his face. No one came to his rescue, thought, and before he knew it, all the kids had thrown themselves on his lap or glued to his sides so they could see the book.

“Yes, uncle Hyunnie, read a book for them,” Kangin said with a Cheshire grin, finding the younger’s discomfort rather entertaining. “We will just drink some coffee in the meantime.”

Kyuhyun sent them all an annoyed and somewhat scared glare when they exited the playroom and went to the kitchen. Kangin had to drag Henry with him.

“They don’t love me anymore! I was their uncle Henry!” he exclaimed dramatically, looking like he was on the verge of tears.

Kangin gently pushed him down into a chair while Leeteuk went to start some coffee. “They love you, silly, Kyuhyun is just new and shiny. You are still their uncle Henry,” Kangin laughed and ruffled Henry’s hair. Hangeng and Heechul smiled at the scene before sitting down as well. Hangeng’s hand quickly found Heechul’s on the table, lacing their fingers as they shared a loving smile.

Leeteuk saw the exchange between the married couple and smiled to himself. He felt happy to witness the interaction, to know that there were some love stories in this world that ended well, even if the two parties seemed to be complete opposites. He poured the coffee into five mugs and took two of them to the table while Kangin took the last three.

“So, how are things here?” Henry inquired after taking a sip of his coffee. The drink seemed to have calmed him down a little.

“They are good,” Kangin replied with a huge smile. “All kids except for Hae call Leeteuk umma now.”

Henry looked at Leeteuk with an impressed expression. “Wow, I knew you were good, but I didn’t know you were _that_ good. It seems like I underestimated you,” Henry whistled, which made Leeteuk blush while other three laughed.

“He’s the best,” Kangin declared with pride in his voice. Leeteuk felt the blush creep down to his neck and up to his ears as well. They all chuckled at Leeteuk’s red face, finding it endearing that the nanny got so flustered over a compliment, before silence fell upon the group for a little while, everyone just enjoying the coffee.

“So, the twins are starting school next week? They sure have gotten big,” Henry commented proudly, finally over the initial shock of seeing his boyfriend getting chosen over him.

“Yes, it’s very exciting,” Kangin replied. Hangeng and Heechul just smiled at each other again; Yesung started school last year, so they had no first-time students to worry about this year. Yesung was happy to go to school and he loved learning, so it had all gone as smooth as possible. They chatted a bit about the prospect of the children going to school and about how things were going with everyone before Henry began to get all jittery.

“Don’t you think we should check on Kyu?” he asked worriedly. Kangin chuckled and nodded, causing Henry to jump out of his seat and all but run to the playroom to check on his boyfriend. The other adults following a bit slower, only to come to a halt behind Henry who had stopped in the doorway, now sporting an open mouth.

Kyuhyun was sitting with the kids, no longer looking awkward. He was singing ‘Old McDonald had a farm’ and making gestures to go along with it while the kids squealed with laughter from the faces and noises Kyuhyun made. When he reached the duck and tried to make a duck face while simultaneously making the noise of a duck, Henry burst out laughing, startling Kyuhyun out of his little child entertainer bubble.

“I see you are not so awkward with kids after all,” Henry laughed. “Now you can’t use that as an excuse for us to not adopt anymore,” he continued with a big smile, joining his boyfriend on the floor after having picked up a play guitar. He began playing the guitar while singing along to loud cheers from the children. The guitar was not tuned and it didn’t sound like a song at all but he played and sang with so much passion that the children didn’t notice.

“So, Kyu, are you staying for dinner?” Kangin asked with a wide grin.

Kyuhyun smiled back tentatively, looking at his boyfriend’s happy expression before looking back at Kangin. “I think we are,” he answered with a smile.


	19. Date

When Leeteuk entered the restaurant, he scanned the dining area quickly and hurried over to the table when he caught a glimpse of Zhoumi who was waving to get his attention. “I’m so sorry I’m late. Wook wouldn’t go to sleep, he keeps complaining about his throat hurting. I think he is catching a cold,” Leeteuk rambled nervously as he sat down. He felt bad for being twenty minutes late, which only added to his already quite frazzled nerves. He had sent Zhoumi a text to tell him he would be late, but it still didn’t quell the guilt he felt.  

“It’s okay, Jungsoo, don’t fret,” Zhoumi chuckled, looking the younger man over. He was wearing dark jeans and a simple white t-shirt, his hair slightly ruffled without looking bed-heady. “You look good,” he complimented, smiling at the blush that rose on Leeteuk’s cheeks. 

“Thank you,” he murmured as he looked down at his menu to hide his face behind his bangs.

“I have already decided what to order so just take your time deciding, I don’t mind waiting even longer,” Zhoumi teased good-heartedly.

“Don’t tease,” Leeteuk whined, slowly beginning to feel more comfortable in the older man’s company. “I’ll have the chicken,” he decided quickly, while Zhoumi grinned at him.

Zhoumi called a waiter over and placed their orders before turning his attention to the gorgeous nanny. “So, how are things with the kids? I got the feeling that you really love them from what you’ve said.” He was genuinely interested seeing as it seemed to mean a lot to Leeteuk.

“I think it is going better now. Remember I told you about Donghae being so angry with me?”

Zhoumi hummed. They had talked on the phone a couple of times to keep in touch until their actual date and Leeteuk had been so consumed with the situation with Donghae that he ended up telling Zhoumi all about it and how he wasn’t sure how to approach the situation in the best way possible.

“Yeah, he had a meltdown two days ago because Hyukjae called me umma. It was kind of intense so I ended up calling Heechul and Hangeng for backup while Kangin and I talked to him. The poor thing has a hard time wording what he feels, so it’s not really weird that he has been so angry. I think we managed to get through to him, though. He is just scared. I think they all are in some way,” Leeteuk said, sadness clear in his eyes.

“Wookie doesn’t seem scared to me,” Zhoumi said dryly, clearly remembering the toddler’s surprise attack on him.

“No, not consciously. He doesn’t remember Sora specifically but he remembers the feeling of waking up to a vital person in his life missing, so he is definitely not unaffected by the situation. But I think it helps that I am there,” Leeteuk said before realising how that sounded. “I didn’t mean to boast or-“

“I know, relax Jungsoo,” Zhoumi said with a smile and a wave of his hand just as their food came. He thanked the waiter before continuing. “But I think you are right, I think it helps that you are there,” he agreed.

Leeteuk blushed and smiled softly in reply. “What about you? Is there any interesting fashion trends I should know about?” Leeteuk inquired, his smile taking on a teasing edge.

Zhoumi couldn’t help but laugh in response. “No, I think you are doing pretty well without help from a fashion guru. But if you were asking about my work, I am having a fashion show in Japan in a couple of days. I’m flying out the day after tomorrow and I’ll be gone for 3 weeks, so I’m afraid a second date will have to wait for a while,” Zhoumi told him.

“Oh, well, that’s good isn’t it? I mean, not the part about waiting, but the part about going to Japan? Doesn’t that mean that your collection will be available more places?” Leeteuk asked curiously, not sure about how the fashion industry worked at all.

“Yes, it does!” Zhoumi exclaimed, having a hard time concealing his enthusiasm now that Leeteuk had shown an interest in his work.

Leeteuk laughed at his expression, his eyes lit up like Christmas lights. “Please tell me all about it.” He found he liked the happy expression on Zhoumi’s face.

When the waiter came to take their empty plates half an hour later, Zhoumi had talked about using Japanese models versus Korean models, how this season saw more skirts and dresses than pants for women, the colours that he predicted would make it big this season as well as his plans to open up a little boutique in Tokyo. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking forever,” Zhoumi said once the waiter left, looking sheepish and a little regretful.

“That’s okay, I think it’s great seeing you talk about something you are so obviously interested in. Seems like you chose the right profession,” Leeteuk grinned.

“Well, yes, but still… You had to listen to me talk about the difference between beige and cream,” Zhoumi deadpanned. He knew that he could get a bit carried away when it came to fashion and his career and he was aware that not everybody found the intricacies of fashion as exciting as he did.

Leeteuk just laughed at him. “You can order something with a lot of chocolate for dessert to make up for it,” he winked, hesitating before reaching across the table and placing his own hand on top of Zhoumi’s. His stomach dropped when Zhoumi looked down at their hands with something that was more shock than surprise. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ he spluttered, trying to withdraw his hand as he realised he must have misread Zhoumi’s signals.

“No, don’t be,” Zhoumi said quickly, sending him a reassuring smile once he had regained his sense, taking the smaller man’s hand in his again. That was the moment the waiter decided to come and ask whether they wanted dessert or the bill. He looked at their intertwined hands in distaste but didn’t say anything. Once he left again, Leeteuk sighed deeply, the waiter’s glance making him uncomfortable.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hold your hand, I was just… surprised,” Zhoumi explained softly.

“Why?” Leeteuk asked with a frown. Wasn’t this a date? Why would it surprise Zhoumi that he made a move to get a little closer?

“I… Heechul told me you’d been hurt badly in a previous relationship,” Zhoumi admitted sheepishly. “He threatened to cut my balls off and staple them to my face if I hurt you or pressured you to go faster than you were ready to, so I wasn’t prepared for you to take the first step.”

Leeteuk frowned a little at that. He hadn’t expected Heechul to threaten Zhoumi like that and he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry with the blunt man that he had told Zhoumi, albeit vaguely, about his past. At least it spared him from having to figure out how to approach that topic in the future.

“I-“ Zhoumi began but was cut off as the waiter came with their desserts. The chocolate cakes looked absolutely delicious but they were both too affected by the sudden change of topic to really appreciate them.

“What do you want to know?” Leeteuk asked quietly, a little resigned. It wasn’t exactly first date conversation material but it would be odd if Zhoumi didn’t have any questions.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to, Jungsoo,” Zhoumi assured, squeezing his hand lightly. “I just wanted you to know what Heechul told me and that I was truly pleasantly surprised about you taking the first step,” Zhoumi explained. “If you want to tell me what happened, I am ready to listen. If not, that is perfectly fine.”

Leeteuk remained quiet, slowly grabbing his fork to start eating his cake in silence. He really wasn’t angry, he just wasn’t sure how to respond, too much going through his head right now.

Zhoumi didn’t try to make him talk, giving him the time and space he needed. He felt miserable for having screwed things up, but seeing as Leeteuk hadn’t pulled his hand away, he hoped the younger simply needed a little time to get his thoughts sorted. He would be very disappointed in himself if Leeteuk never wanted to see him again.

 

Once they left the restaurant, their hands no longer linked, Zhoumi decided to break the silence. “I’ll walk you home,” he offered gently.

Leeteuk just nodded. They went in silence for a block or two before Leeteuk reached out and took Zhoumi’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. “It started with jealousy,” he began quietly. “He accused me of having affairs with my friends and asked me to choose between him and them. I chose him but it still wasn’t enough. He began calling me all kinds of degrading things. Slut. Whore. Filthy cock hungry harlot. It kept getting worse and worse and by then I had no one to talk to because I’d always chosen him over my friends. I ended up believing him when he said I was not worthy of being loved.” They came to a halt, having reached the gates to the Kim-house. “And one night he beat me and I ran. That’s it,” he finished, looking down. Even though he had mostly worked through the trauma of the relationship, there were still moments when he reverted back to his previous way of thinking, where he felt insecure and believed that he really was not worthy of being loved.

Zhoumi looked at the smaller male in front of him, marvelling how beautiful he was. He had a hard time believing anyone could treat another person like that, much less an angel like Leeteuk. He gently lifted Leeteuk’s face with a couple of fingers under his chin until they had eye contact. “You _are_ worthy of being loved,” he said softly, looking into Leeteuk’s beautiful brown eyes.

“Thank you,” Leeteuk whispered before he closed the gap between them. The kiss was chaste and sweet and it made Leeteuk’s heart beat a little faster. However, their sweet moment was cut short when the gates suddenly began opening with a soft screech. They jumped apart and Leeteuk looked over to see Kangin standing by the open front door.

“Hello! I thought I heard you so I just wanted to open the gates for you,” Kangin greeted. He sounded a little constipated and Leeteuk briefly wondered if he had caught whatever Ryeowook had. He frowned a little, sure that Kangin knew that he knew the combination for the gates so it really wasn’t necessary for Kangin to open them for him. He turned to Zhoumi, sending him a hesitant smile. “I’ll see you once you get home from Japan, right?”

Zhoumi nodded with a smile before he bent down and placed a soft kiss on Leeteuk’s lips again, swearing that he heard a soft curse from the door. “See you soon.” He straightened up and waved at Leeteuk, seeing him off until the door was closed behind him by Kangin. He wasn’t blind and even though he knew Leeteuk wasn’t either, it seemed that the younger man had not caught on to the slightly possessive vibe Kangin seemed to send out whenever Leeteuk was involved. He chuckled slightly to himself; he liked Leeteuk a lot but he knew romance wasn’t something you could force. Even if things ended up not working out romantically, he would have gained a good friend. He was, however, looking forward to coming home from Japan and see if anything had happened between the angel and the bulky father of four.

 

 

“You do remember you gave me the combination to the gates, right?” Leeteuk asked while taking off his shoes. He felt slightly embarrassed at being caught by Kangin in such a compromising situation but he sternly told himself that the older man was simply his employer and that he was allowed to do whatever he wanted in his free time, including dating.

“I… forgot. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Kangin apologised, looking a little sheepish.

“It’s fine,” Leeteuk said, putting his shoes away. “I think I will go to bed. I can leave my door open if you want to take a swim before you go to bed? I was planning on reading a little before sleeping anyway,” Leeteuk rambled, not knowing exactly why he was doing so.

“Yes, I think I’ll do that. Thank you, Teukie-ah,” Kangin said with a little nod.

“Goodnight then,” Leeteuk said before hurrying up the stairs.

Kangin looked after him for a second before going downstairs to the pool, quickly changing into his trunks before jumping into the water. He swam 6 lengths before allowing himself to think about what had happened that night. He had been waiting up for Leeteuk, anxious without really knowing why. The fancy dining room that was never really used anymore was facing the gates and he had found himself going to the room and peeking through the curtains throughout the evening more times than he cared to admit. When he had finally spotted Leeteuk and Zhoumi arrive at the gate, he watched as they talked, wondering what they were talking about until Zhoumi had leaned down to kiss Leeteuk. _My_ Leeteuk, he had growled mentally, scrambling out into the hall and punching one of the buttons on the alarm system to make the gates open and interrupt the too intimate moment between the two. Before he had realised what he had done, he had called out to them and let them know that he was there. Why? _Because you like him._ Kangin accidentally swallowed a large amount of water at the voice in his head. The voice sounded a lot like Heechul. He coughed harshly, trying to get the water out of his windpipe. When he finally felt like he could breathe properly again, he moved through the water and let himself float while he stared at the ceiling. He was pretty sure he was straight. Well, he had never actually been with a man so he couldn’t entirely reject the possibility, but he had never really given any thought to his sexuality. He had married a woman because that was what was expected of him. He had gotten four beautiful sons out of the marriage, so he couldn’t say he regretted it. _Also, if you never married Sora, you would never have met Leeteuk_ the mental Heechul said. Did he really like his nanny more than what was appropriate? Even if he did, it didn’t matter, he told himself. He did not plan on seducing Leeteuk just to sate his own selfishness and risk the younger leaving. It would throw the children into pure emotional chaos again and that was not something he was willing to risk. Yes, he liked Leeteuk, he admitted to himself as he floated around the pool. But he wouldn’t act on it and he had to learn how to shut up and control his urge to interrupt when Leeteuk was around that freakishly tall fashion designer. He had to think of his children first and foremost and it was in their best interest that he and Leeteuk stayed colleagues and teammates when it came to raising the children, and nothing more. He stood up when he reached the edge of the pool, nodding firmly to himself before submerging himself, diving from one end of the pool to the other.


	20. First Day of School

The last evening of the summer holiday soon arrived and the twins spent the evening strangely subdued and quiet. Kangin asked Leeteuk to tuck Ryeowook in, intending to try to talk to the twins to see if there was any way he could ease their worries. He had a feeling their quietness was due to nervousness over the fact that tomorrow was the first day of school.

“Wook no sleep,” the toddler whined as Leeteuk placed him in his crib. He immediately stood up, hands on the bars, and looked at Leeteuk with wide, imploring eyes.

“You have to sleep now, Wookie. We have an exciting day tomorrow,” Leeteuk coaxed, lifting the toddler by his armpits and gently laying him down in the crib again.

“But Wookie owwie,” the toddler insisted, pointing at his throat again.

Leeteuk frowned at this; Ryeowook had been complaining about his throat a lot recently. “We’ll get you some medicine tomorrow, okay? Then it’ll stop hurting,” Leeteuk promised as he stroked the toddler’s soft hair, thinking it was probably a very insistent cold and that some cold medicine would be able to soothe the hurt.

Ryeowook whimpered but leaned into Leeteuk’s caress, his eyes slowly sliding shut when Leeteuk began humming a soft lullaby. The nanny smiled softly, remaining where he was even after the toddler had fallen asleep. There was something infinitely calming over watching the sleeping boy, his chest rising and falling steadily and his face serene.

“Teuk? The twins said they won’t tell me what is wrong before you are there,” Kangin said from the door opening, voice soft. He had been there for about a minute and his heart swelled with the knowledge that Leeteuk loved his sons as much as he did. He smiled softly when Leeteuk turned to look at him.

“Wookie keeps complaining about his throat so I was thinking about going to the drugstore tomorrow after we’ve taken the kids to school,” he said quietly, looking down at Ryeowook one last time to make sure he was still asleep before going to the doorway where Kangin was.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. I can show you where the drugstore is before I go to work. I’ve cleared most of my schedule tomorrow morning so I can see the twins off properly and make sure they are okay, so I should have time to at least point you in the right direction,” he said, not blind to the hint of longing in Leeteuk’s gaze when he looked at Ryeowook. He didn’t say anything about it though, not entirely sure how to deal with what he saw. He knew Leeteuk had wanted to be a parent himself one day and he guessed his sons calling Leeteuk umma kind of brought that desire to the surface. He could only hope that Leeteuk wouldn’t leave to follow that desire any time soon since that would be absolutely devastating to the kids.

Leeteuk returned the smile, trying to hide the conflicting emotions he held inside. He wanted so badly to be a part of this family for real and not just a part of it because he was paid for it. He had tried to keep some kind of professional and emotional distance to the kids so it would hurt less if he was to leave suddenly. After all, they were not his sons, no matter how desperately he wanted them to be. It was safe to say that he had failed massively and lost his heart completely to the boys. But he didn’t know if it was only to four of the boys or of the fifth counted as well despite no longer being a boy. He had caught himself daydreaming while cooking today. In his daydream, he was a housewife in this house with all that title included. He had blushed once he realised the nature of his fleeting thoughts and almost felt as if he had cheated on Zhoumi even though they were not officially together. He broke out of his thoughts and entered the twins’ room behind Kangin.

“Hey, what’s up guys?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of Donghae’s bed where Hyukjae and Donghae were curled up together. Kangin stood at the foot of the bed keeping quiet for now. It seemed as if the twins needed an umma instead of an appa in this situation.

“What if the other kids are mean?” Donghae whimpered. He seemed to be the one out of the twins who was most worried about starting school which surprised both Kangin and Leeteuk.

“I’m sure the other kids are nice. You are going to make a lot of new friends,” Leeteuk soothed, running his hand through the younger twin’s hair. He felt glad that Donghae finally tried to word what he felt instead of lashing out on him or his brothers in anger. Donghae just whimpered again and hid his face under the blanket.

“If anybody is mean to you, you should tell the teacher, okay? He is there to help you,” Leeteuk assured him, trying to get the twin to look up from under the blanket. There was no reaction.

“If the teacher is mean too, we’ll just get appa to beat him up, okay?” he joked, smiling when he was rewarded with a watery giggle from under the blanket. Hyukjae laughed as well, seemingly cured of his fright after Leeteuk’s assurances. Donghae peeked over the top of the blanket, looking at Leeteuk with wide, glistening eyes.

“It’s okay to be scared, sweetie, but I’m sure everything is going to be fine and that you are going to love it,” he assured him. Donghae lifted his arms from under the blanket, silently demanding a hug. Leeteuk scooted closer so he could hug the little boy, reaching out to include Hyukjae in the hug when the older twin tugged his arm and whined because he wanted a hug too. “You are going to have so much fun that you don’t want to come home when Wookie and I come to pick you up again,” he chuckled before letting go of the twins. “You should try to sleep now,” he said softly, kissing each boy on the forehead.

“Goodnight umma, goodnight appa,” Hyukjae yawned before turning to his side and snuggling closer to the wall.

“Do you promise that you will come and pick us up again?” Donghae asked in a small voice.

“I promise,” Leeteuk replied softly. Donghae nodded slowly before lying down and snuggling up to his twin.

  
  
Getting the kids up and ready to go the next morning went relatively smoothly. Hyukjae didn’t like the tie that was a part of his school uniform but Kangin managed to convince him to wear it when he reminded the older twin that he wore a tie every day to the office. Leeteuk made sure to pack a diaper bag as he was planning to go to the park with Ryeowook once they had dropped the older boys off at school and Kangin had shown him where the drugstore was. Since it was the first day of school, the twins would have a rather short day so Leeteuk planned on picking them up directly from the park as there would be more than enough time to get Ryeowook home in time for his nap afterwards.

“Let me help you with that, Hae,” Kangin offered when Donghae grew frustrated with the laces on his new school shoes; all his other shoes had velcro. “See, you make two bunny ears, like this, and then tie a knot,” he explained, kneeling down in front of the boy to show him how to do it. Then he untied them again. “Have a go at it.”

Donghae pursed his lips in concentration as he tried to copy what his appa had shown him. The result wasn’t quite as neat as it had been when his appa had done it but he was very proud of his achievement nevertheless once his shoes were tied and Kangin ruffled his hair and told him he had done well.

Leeteuk helped Ryeowook get his shoes and a little jumper on and then helped Siwon check that he had everything he needed in his school bag before they went outside. Ryeowook was placed in the stroller and they were soon on their way to school.

Once there, Siwon skipped off to find his classroom after hugging both Leeteuk and Kangin, eager to see his classmates again after a long summer. Donghae held Kangin’s hand tightly while Hyukjae held Leeteuk’s hand. They looked around curiously, studying the other kids with their parents who also seemed to be there for the first time.

“I think it’s over here,” Kangin said after looking around to locate the right classroom. They went over to the teacher who stood by the door with a clipboard in hand, checking the kids in for the day.

“Hello, are you Mr Lee?” Kangin asked politely. The man looked up from the clipboard with a broad smile. Donghae and Hyukjae looked at him with uncertain eyes, not yet sure what they felt about the entire situation.

“Yes, that’s me. And who are these two precious boys?” the teacher asked with a smile, looking down at the twins.

“Kim Hyukjae and Kim Donghae,” Kangin informed with a smile. The teacher seemed nice and welcoming which made him relax a little; first teachers made a big impression on you so Kangin was glad this one seemed like a good one.

“Ah, here they are,” the teacher hummed when he found them on the list clipped to the clipboard. “How will they get home today?” he asked, looking at Kangin over his glasses.

“Leeteuk will pick them up,” Kangin replied, gesturing to Leeteuk.

The teacher nodded with a hum and made a note on the paper. “And how will they get to and from school after today?” he asked, looking up from his list again.

“They will go by the school bus. Their older brother is starting second grade so he knows how things work with the bus and will go with them,” Kangin explained and Mr. Lee nodded and made another note on the paper.

“Good. Then you can go in and find your seats once you’ve said goodbye to your... parents,” the teacher said, quickly turning to the next student.

Kangin and Leeteuk both crouched down to be level with the twins. “Be good, okay? Play nicely with the other kids and study well and don’t misbehave,” Leeteuk instructed, hugging Hyukjae closely while Kangin told Donghae to tell the teacher or him if any of the other kids were being mean.

“I will, umma,” Hyukjae nodded and smiled before going to his appa to hug him goodbye. In return, Donghae ran over to Leeteuk.

“Have a nice first day, Hae,” Leeteuk mumbled into the younger twin’s hair as he hugged him closely, repeating the instructions he had given Hyukjae. Ryeowook blew a long raspberry from the stroller and waved Kiki’s arms, busy entertaining himself.

“I will,” Donghae said with a smile, feeling more courageous now that he had seen the teacher and decided that he wasn’t scary. Both twins walked into the classroom with expressions that bordered excitement, leaving Kangin, Leeteuk and Ryeowook outside. Kangin sighed deeply, feeling a little nostalgic over the fact that his sons were already that big; it seemed like yesterday he had been handed two bundled up babies the size of a pound cake each.

“Should we go to the drugstore to get something for Wookie’s throat?” he asked in a hoarse voice, trying to control his emotions.

Leeteuk smiled softly at Kangin and put a hand on his shoulder as the older began pushing the stroller towards the exit. “They’ll be fine. They have each other,” Leeteuk assured just as Ryeowook decided to turn around in the stroller and throw Kiki at Leeteuk to get his attention.

“Umma, where Hae and Hyuk?” he asked with big eyes when he realised his brothers were suddenly gone and he was alone with his umma and appa.

Leeteuk handed Kiki back to the toddler. “They are in school. From now on they have to go to school like Siwon, so it is just you and me alone most days,” Leeteuk explained with a smile.

Ryeowook looked at him with wide eyes before he started tearing up. “Where Kiki go?” he whimpered unhappily, clutching his favourite plushie to make sure she didn’t go anywhere. Kangin choked on a laugh, turning around and letting Leeteuk deal with the situation.

“She’s not going anywhere, sweetie, Kiki will be with us too,” Leeteuk assured Ryeowook, trying his hardest not to laugh as well. Ryeowook sniffled, rubbing his eyes with the plush giraffe. “Let’s go get something for your throat now, okay?” he said. Ryeowook nodded and turned his attention back to Kiki.

“I’ll go with you to the drugstore and then I think I have to go to work,” Kangin said, looking down at his watch to check the time.

“That’s okay,” Leeteuk smiled, walking beside the stroller and letting Kangin lead the way.

Once in front of the drugstore, the older man crouched down in front of the stroller. “I hope you have a nice day as well, bunny. Be good, yeah?”

Ryeowook looked up from Kiki and sent him a smile so bright it rivalled the sun. “Wookie lone with umma!” he boasted proudly.

Kangin chuckled and ruffled his hair. “Yes, all day! Have fun, okay?” he smiled at the toddler as he stood up. Ryeowook nodded and waved at him.

“Have a nice day,” Kangin said to Leeteuk and before the younger could respond, he found himself in a tight embrace. He felt slightly overwhelmed but he couldn’t stop himself from inhaling the scent of Kangin’s cologne.

“Y-you too,” he managed to stutter out when he was freed again. Kangin smiled and waved at the two before walking off to get to the office while Ryeowook waved after him. “Let’s go in,” he said to Ryeowook even though he doubted the toddler would hear him.

“Hello dear, how may I help you today?” the old lady behind the counter greeted when they entered.

“I think we need some cough syrup or something similar to that. He has been complaining about his throat hurting and I think he might be getting a cold, so I wanted to see if there was something we could get so it wouldn’t hurt so much?” Leeteuk explained, gesturing to Ryeowook.

“Are you sure it is his throat that hurts?” she asked, looking at Ryeowook. He didn’t seem to be ill to her and he was very young so he might not be able to properly articulate where it hurt.

“Wookie, where is the owwie?” Leeteuk asked the toddler.

“Owwie,” Wookie said, pointing at his throat once again.

“Well, aren’t you a precious one,” the lady cooed with a smile before turning her attention to Leeteuk again. “I can give you some cough syrup; it’ll help numb pain in the throat and any build up of phlegm if it turns into a full-blown cold,” she explained, going over to a shelf and running her finger over several bottles until she found what she was looking for. “Ah, here. We have strawberry flavour and banana flavour. Which one would you like?”

“'Nana!” Ryeowook shouted before Leeteuk could even begin to answer.

“I think we will take the banana,” he chuckled softly. The lady seemed amused and took the bottle with a drawing of a banana on it, going back to the register to scan it in and put it in a bag. Once Leeteuk had paid and bid the kind lady goodbye, he held the bag in front of Ryeowook.

“Do you want to hold it?” he asked.

Ryeowook grabbed the bag with big eyes and held it closely together with Kiki. “Wookie help!” he exclaimed with a happy giggle and Leeteuk couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

“Yes, Wookie is helping,” he said before starting to walk towards where Kangin had said he would find a park with a playground. It didn’t take long before they reached the park and Ryeowook seemed ecstatic at the sight of the playground.

“Wookie swing!” the toddler demanded immediately, jumping in the stroller to emphasise the utmost importance of going on the swings right this moment.

Leeteuk smiled and lifted the toddler out of the stroller, placing him in one of the baby swings before pushing it gently. Ryeowook shrieked in enjoyment and laughed, his stomach tickling from how fast he was swinging and how high up he was. Leeteuk couldn’t help but laugh at the toddler’s clear enjoyment of the swings. He found the sight adorable and he loved the careless enjoyment of life the toddler displayed, but even so, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling of worry off of him. He was a little worried about the twins and how their first day of school would go. He felt especially worried about Donghae, hoping the boy would remember to talk about what bothered him instead of bottling every emotion he felt inside of him if something happened that upset him.


	21. Freak

By the time they had made their rounds on the playground and Ryeowook had tried each one of the things to his heart’s content, Leeteuk wasn’t surprised when he looked at his watch and found that there was only an hour left until they were supposed to pick up the twins.

“Wookie, are you hungry? I brought some pear if you want some,” he told the toddler who was sitting in the sandbox and currently throwing little handfuls of sand on Kiki to bury her. When she was out of sight he would begin to dig and when he found her he would gleefully show Leeteuk the ‘treasure’ he had found; this had repeated itself three times already and Ryeowook’s joy over finding the giraffe did not diminish even the slightest from time to time.

“Wookie nom!” the toddler exclaimed and clapped his hands before pulling Kiki out of the sand again.

Leeteuk dug into the bag and managed to find a wet wipe, beckoning Ryeowook to come over. Once the boy had toddled his way over to the grass, Leeteuk took his hands and wiped them as clean as he could, causing the toddler to giggle.

“Tickles!” Ryeowook squealed, squirming on the spot before plopping down on his behind on the grass beside Leeteuk once his hands were freed. Leeteuk handed him a piece of pear from the plastic container he had brought and the boy happily started munching on it before he suddenly started to cough violently, spitting out the pear.

“What happened? Are you okay, bunny?” Leeteuk asked frantically, patting the toddler’s back in case he had gotten something stuck in his throat.

“’Wadr,” Ryeowook whimpered once he stopped coughing and pointed at the pear. “Wookie OWWIE!” he yelled. His face was red with anger and he couldn’t understand why no one had done anything even though he told them again and again that his throat hurt and it wasn’t fun at all.

“Shh, come here, let’s try the medicine, okay?” Leeteuk said soothingly, picking the toddler up and placing him in the hollow between his crossed legs. He quickly found the bag with the medicine; luckily there was a small measuring cup on top of the lid and so he poured some of the medicine in the small cup after skimming the side of the box to make sure he didn’t accidentally give Ryeowook too much cough syrup. “Here, this should help,” Leeteuk said, trying to coax the toddler into drinking the medicine. The toddler just whimpered and squeezed his lips shut, shaking his head in refusal. “It’s banana,” he reminded him softly. That seemed to do the trick; Ryeowook drank it slowly before whimpering again and pressing his face into Leeteuk’s chest. “Shh, it’s okay. It’ll get better now,” Leeteuk promised, holding him close. He quickly packed the things back into the diaper bag and then got up to get ready to go. He tried to put Ryeowook in the stroller again but the boy started crying every time and in the end, he decided to just carry him instead. He looked around one last time to make sure he had cleaned up after them and that they weren’t leaving anything behind. He decided that backtracking the route they had taken that morning was probably the smartest thing to do since he really didn’t know this part of town very well.

 

 

“Hae, Hyuk, over here,” Leeteuk called once he spotted the twins, waving at them when they walked out of the classroom. He felt worry well up in him when they were close enough for him to see their expressions; Hyukjae seemed sad whereas Donghae seemed angry. “Did you have a nice day?” he asked, taking their backpacks and putting them into the stroller; there was no reason for the twins to carry them when Ryeowook was still on his arm and the stroller was empty. He received no answer. “Were the other kids nice?” Still no answer. “Did you do anything funny?”

“No. I want to go home,” Hyukjae mumbled finally before he and Donghae began walking towards the exit without waiting for Leeteuk to catch up.

Leeteuk looked after them with a very worried expression for a second before he pushed the stroller towards them to follow their lead. He wondered if something had happened today to cause the twins to act like that or if it was just nerves and a lot of new impressions in a very short time that affected them negatively. He would definitely have to try to talk to them once they got home and he had put Ryeowook down for his nap.

 

 

“When’s appa coming home?” Hyukjae asked as he took off his shoes in the hallway, leaving his backpack on the floor.

“In an hour or so, he will pick Siwon up from school. I think Uncle Henry will be coming home with him,” Leeteuk answered, hoping to get some more information out of the twins before then. The twins just nodded and headed to their room, leaving a highly worried Leeteuk behind.

 

 

“Goodnight Wookie, sleep tight,” he whispered, stroking the toddler’s hair one last time when he was certain he was asleep. He then made his way towards the twins’ room, hoping he might be able to talk to them about their day. When he reached the door, he heard hushed voices and he decided to just wait for a minute to see if they were talking about anything that might have happened to upset them today.

“But Hae, appa said we should tell him if the other kids were mean to us!” Hyukjae insisted in a hushed whisper, sadness apparent in his voice.

“Appa also said to tell the teacher and the teacher did nothing!” Donghae hissed angrily.

“But that big boy ruined my drawing and said I was a freak,” Hyukjae argued weakly.

Leeteuk was certain the older twin was crying now and he quickly knocked on the door before entering the room. “Hey, guys. Did someone bully you today?” he asked in a serious tone. Bullying was not something to be taken lightly and if someone had indeed bullied the twins today, it was certainly a matter he and Kangin would have to discuss so they could figure out what to do to help the boys.

Hyukjae looked like he was about to burst into tears for real any second while Donghae looked extremely angry.

“Go away, we don’t need you!” he yelled at Leeteuk. “It’s all you fault!”

“What happened? What’s my fault?” Leeteuk asked in confusion. Was he the reason why some kid had been mean to the twins in school today? And why hadn’t the teacher done something if they had told him?

“It’s your fault a big boy spilled glue all over Hyukkie’s drawing and called him a freak! Everything was fine until you came and then you ruined everything!” Donghae shouted, lashing out and punching Leeteuk’s arm with his fist.

“What is going on in here?” Kangin yelled, bursting into the room. He had only just entered the house when he heard Donghae screaming and had taken the stairs two at a time to reach the twins’ rooms to make sure everyone was okay, catching only the tail end of Donghae’s accusation and the sound of the punch.

“You are a weirdo!” Donghae yelled at Leeteuk, ignoring his appa until Kangin was in front of him.

He grabbed Donghae’s arms firmly and held him in place, looking at him sternly. “Do not, and I repeat, _do not_ hit other people or call them names like that. I raised you better than this,” he said in an angry voice, finding his son’s behaviour completely unacceptable. “Either you tell me what happened right now or you are going to bed immediately.”

“The other kids say it’s not normal to have an appa as an umma and that you and Leeteuk are freaks and so are we! They ruined Hyukkie’s drawing! They pushed us around in the school yard!” the tiny boy yelled, pent up emotions bursting through his walls and causing tears of anguish to form in his eyes.

Kangin’s expression morphed into a sad frown at the information. Though Donghae’s behaviour was unacceptable, it was at least explainable now. “I told you to tell the teacher if anybody bullied you,” Kangin reminded him in a calmer, more balanced voice.

“I did! I told him and showed him the glue all over Hyukkie’s drawing and he just said that it was not normal to have a man as umma so he wouldn’t do anything!” Donghae screamed before breaking down into sobs.

A very large part of Kangin was ready to go snap the teacher’s neck then and there but his sons were his first priority and right now the twins were hurt and scared and upset. He gently pulled Donghae into a hug and beckoned the silently crying Hyukjae to join the hug as well.

Leeteuk felt a hand on his arms and let himself be led out of the room only to find himself in a tight embrace. Up until now, he hadn’t noticed that he was crying but the things Donghae had said to him, the way he had blamed him for everything the twins had had to go through on their very first day of school cut through his heart. Was it really his fault? He knew children could be vicious to each other, especially children who didn’t necessarily feel great about themselves, but he hadn’t once considered that his presence and his role in the twins’ life might lead to them being bullied by their classmates. He could vaguely hear Kangin talking to the twins in a calm voice, telling them that there was nothing wrong with having a man as umma, nothing wrong with two men loving each other. He asked them if they found uncle Heechul and uncle Hangeng weird? If they thought uncle Henry and uncle Kyuhyun were freaks? Leeteuk hoped they would understand though he knew they were probably too hurt to understand fully.

“It’s not your fault, hyung,” Henry assured him gently, trying to make Leeteuk feel better.

Leeteuk nodded slowly before pulling away from the hug.“Thanks,” he said as he wiped his tears away.

Henry sent him an encouraging smile before taking Leeteuk’s hand and leading him downstairs. “I think Kangin will handle this. I won’t be surprised if he will be going straight to the school once they feel better, though. What a horrid teacher!” Henry fumed angrily. He loved the four Kim-boys and to know that two of them had been hurt because of a man’s prejudice made him both angry and incredibly sad. They weren’t old enough to have to deal with the prejudices of society.

Leeteuk nodded in agreement. He wanted to tell that teacher a thing or two about how to deal with children himself; clearly the teacher was ill-equipped for his position if he could not look past his own personal opinions and dedicate his work hours to making sure all the children under his care were well taken care off. Once they entered the kitchen, Leeteuk turned his attention to Siwon who was busy eating an apple by the dinner table.

“Did you have a nice first day in school?” he asked as he sat down across from the oldest boy, suppressing any distress he was feeling so he wouldn’t worry Siwon. He unconsciously stroked the place Donghae’s fist had landed; it was definitely going to leave a bruise.

“Yes, I did! I made something for you!” Siwon replied happily, setting the apple on the table before climbing down from his chair and running to his backpack. He searched through it with a pout in his lips before he pulled out a piece of paper, hurried back to the table and handed it to him.

Leeteuk took the drawing with a little smile, happy Siwon had decided to make something for him. The drawing in itself was simple, but Leeteuk could clearly see the effort that had been put into it and it warmed his heart and forced him to fight a new round of tears. There was a line down the middle of the paper; on the left side were five stick figures, all with sad faces. Underneath every stick figure, Siwon had written the name of each member of the Kim-family. On the right side of the line were six stick figures. Here, Leeteuk was present and all of the stick figures had happy faces. The letters under Leeteuk’s stick figure spelled ‘umma’.

“This is before you came,” Siwon pointed at the left side of the drawing. “And this is after!” he explained with a happy smile, very proud of himself for having written all the names _twice_ on the drawing.

Leeteuk made eye contact with Henry and saw that the younger man was almost as touched as he was. He turned and wrapped his arms around Siwon, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, sweetie. It’s absolutely beautiful,” he praised, every word coming straight from his heart. Siwon snuggled into the hug, enjoying the warmth and comfort it provided.

A second later, Kangin hurried into the kitchen. “Henry, can you look after the kids while Leeteuk and I go talk to the twins’ teacher?” Kangin asked curtly. He looked absolutely furious but did his best to control his voice since Siwon was in the room.

“Yeah, sure. Wook is sleeping, right?” Henry asked just to make sure,

“Yes and the twins are in their room right now. They might come down later but just let them be for now, they might need a little time,” Kangin replied with a forced smile. “Leeteuk, I need you,” he said in a tone that left no room for arguments before leaving the room. Leeteuk quickly rose to his feet, feeling a little intimidated by the anger the older man emitted.

“You will be back later, right?” Siwon asked with a pout.

“Yes, of course, Wonnie,” Leeteuk replied, ruffling the boy’s hair affectionately before following Kangin. The older was already waiting in the car, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, his entire posture alerting Leeteuk to how furious he was; he half-way expected to see steam come out of his ears any second now. “What happened?” he asked tentatively when he had gotten his seatbelt on.

Kangin had pulled out of the driveway almost as soon as the door had closed behind Leeteuk. “That fucking homophobic teacher let the other kids bully Hae and Hyuk,” Kangin said seethingly. He was having a hard time controlling his anger and only briefly wondered if Heechul and Hangeng had ever had to go through something like this when Yesung started school, but he was so far beyond angry that he couldn’t recall if there had been any similar incidents. He was so furious that society looked down upon homosexuals and that kids were taught that gay people were weird or worth less than ‘normal’, heterosexual people.

“He really did see and did nothing at all?” Leeteuk asked in alarm, feeling anger rush through him as well. It had been bad enough if the teacher just didn’t take Donghae seriously but it was another thing entirely if he had actually witnessed the bullying without doing anything; in Leeteuk’s opinion that made the teacher even worse than the kids who actually bullied the twins.

“He saw and did nothing. When Donghae told him, he said that the kids who bullied them were right, it wasn’t normal to have two men as parents,” Kangin exclaimed forcefully, hitting the horn of the car hard as traffic was moving too slow for him and doing nothing to make him less agitated. “I swear to God, I will see that man fired and publically humiliated for bullying my kids like that. He’s a pathetic excuse of a man,” Kangin growled loudly, taking a sharp turn to the left.

“He is and he deserves nothing better if he can’t fulfil his job and take care of all the kids under his care, regardless of their family situation,” Leeteuk agreed, trying to keep calm even though he was fuming as well. In a matter of minutes, they pulled up to the parking lot in front of the school. Kangin jumped out of the car before Leeteuk had even managed to take off his seatbelt again and he soon felt himself trying to keep up with Kangin as the older man stormed towards the school building, his fingers wrapped around Leeteuk’s wrist.

“If that piece of shit asks, we are happily gay, got it?” Kangin hissed under his breath as he dragged Leeteuk through the front doors of the school building. He was sick and tired of people discriminating homosexuals, having born witness to both Heechul and Henry’s struggles, and if he had to pretend to be one to fight against one man’s homophobia then so be it.


	22. Inhale, Exhale

”Youngwoon, stop!” Leeteuk ordered loudly, stopping in his tracks and pulling the older man to the side so they ended up face to face. “I know you are angry and you have every right to be, but we need to not just barge in there and start screaming our faces off. I am angry too, trust me, but if we don’t approach this in at least a semi level-headed way, we might just create more problems than we already have.”

Kangin puffed out his cheeks in annoyance, looking like he was about to bite Leeteuk’s head off before he exhaled, most of the tension leaving his body. “You’re right,” he said, breathing deeply in an attempt to clear his head. He was furious but Leeteuk was right; charging into the teacher’s office to scream at him for being grossly incompetent was not the right solution and it wouldn’t solve anything. He inhaled deeply before exhaling again, feeling calmer with each breath he took. “What do we do?” Kangin then asked, hoping Leeteuk might have an idea of how to approach this matter.

“Your company donates funds to this school, right?” Leeteuk inquired, his brain running through their options quickly before settling on the one he believed was most likely to result in the desired outcome.

 

 

After preparing the classroom for tomorrow’s class, Mr Lee had taken his seat at his desk to go over the list of students in his new class. He was suddenly interrupted by the Kim-twins’ two dads strolling into his office, fingers intertwined and serious expressions on their faces. “Ah, hello Mr Kim and Mr Kim. What can I do for you?” he asked in the most accommodating voice he could muster towards the couple.

Leeteuk and Kangin sat down, not letting go of each other. “We wanted to talk to you about Donghae and Hyukjae, Mr Lee. They seem to have had a very upsetting first day of school,” Leeteuk began, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“Yes, I’m afraid the other kids have been a bit… upset about the idea of them having two appas,” Mr Lee explained, trying to keep the disgust he felt at the sight of Kangin’s thumb stroking the back of Leeteuk’s hand out of his voice.

“Well, they don’t. They don’t call me appa, they call me umma,” Leeteuk explained patiently. He could feel anger bubbling up inside him but he knew they had to be tactical in how they dealt with the teacher. Kangin seemed to be having the same problem as he kept stroking the back of Leeteuk’s hand a little too hard.

“I’m afraid that will not change the way the kids see it,” Mr Lee replied, finally tearing his eyes away from the sight of the tender caress he found not only highly inappropriate but also nauseating happening right in front of him.

“Donghae told us he tried to tell you about an incident with another child who ruined Hyukjae’s drawing and that you said you wouldn’t do anything about it because of our family situation,” Leeteuk said with a lifted eyebrow, squeezing Kangin’s hand hard. He was too angry to feel uncomfortable at the teacher’s dirty glances but he felt furious on behalf of the twins. He was used to homophobia and had resigned himself to the knowledge that it was something he would meet for the rest of his life, but he was not okay with that prejudice hurting the twins in the process.

“If I had been notified about any such thing, I would have done something, of course,” the teacher proclaimed in what he thought was a sincere and apologetic voice.

Kangin felt rage burst through him at that. That filthy good-for-nothing teacher dared to call Donghae a liar? He scrutinised the teacher closely for a second, eyes narrowed in dislike, trying to calculate what it would take to make the man crack. He was not a highly profiled business man for nothing and his ability to find his opponents’ weak spots was almost legendary in business circles. After a second, he turned to Leeteuk, put his hand on his nape and pulled him into a searing kiss.

The teacher knocked over his mug, spilling coffee all over his papers at the sight of the two men making out in his office. “Stop that!” he yelled in a horrified voice.

Kangin withdrew from the kiss slightly, sporting a wide smirk. “Why, does it bother you?” he asked, making to keep his voice as husky as possible before pulling Leeteuk back into another kiss.

“It’s disgusting, stop it!” the teacher shouted. “Fine, I didn’t do anything when your son told me, is that what you want to hear? Stop it!” he yelled again, having grabbed a broom from the corner as the nearest weapon he could find. He was about to push it between the two still kissing men to make them stop when Kangin’s hand flew up and steadied the broom in a tight grip, while the man himself was now on his feet, towering over the shivering teacher.

“I hope you realise, Mr Lee, that my company has a history of several _very_ generous donations to this school,” Kangin said in a low voice, stepping closer to the teacher. “If my kids don’t attend this school, there is no reason whatsoever for me to donate further to this school. And if my kids do not have a teacher who is willing to protect them when they ask for help, then this is not the school they will be attending. Now, I suggest you work out a way to talk to your class tomorrow morning and tell them that there is nothing wrong with having two appas and that bullying of _any_ kind, no matter the reason, will not be tolerated in this class, or I will go directly to the school board and demand your resignation if they want to keep receiving donations from my company. Are we clear?” he asked, his tone leaving no room for discussion. It was the first time Leeteuk saw Kangin like this and he suddenly understood how the usually soft man had managed to run his business so successfully.  

“I… Y-yes,” the teacher stuttered, wincing when Kangin let go of the broom and it landed on the floor with a clatter.

“Good. I will see you tomorrow at 8. Have a nice day,” Kangin said curtly before taking Leeteuk’s hand again and leaving the room. They made their way out to the car in silence; Kangin was still fuming with silent anger and Leeteuk was both angry and, if he was honest, a little fascinated by the older man. He had never seen him like that, protecting his children at all costs, and he didn’t even need time to contemplate whether he liked it or not; he had a tingling feeling in his body that he couldn’t quite place but it was definitely positive. “I’m still calling the school board tonight,” Kangin grumbled once they were seated in the car. “I don’t believe for a second that he will actually change. He might tread more carefully in Donghae and Hyukjae’s class because he knows I’ll be watching him like a hawk, but who’s to say he won’t snap right back to this bullshit with his next class?”

“I know, I was thinking the same,” Leeteuk said absentmindedly, still caught up in his thoughts. The kiss had taken Leeteuk completely by surprise and yet he had found it so easy to melt into; it had made him feel so safe somehow.

“I’m sorry about the kiss,” Kangin said once he had pulled out of the parking lot. “I just wanted to do _something_ to get back at him for hurting the twins. I am so sick of people treating homosexuals like some kind of sub-humans. I hear it from Heechul, I hear it from Henry, I won’t stand for my kids being bullied because they happen to have an umma who is gay.”

“It’s okay, it worked,” Leeteuk said with a shrug, not sure what else to say. He really hadn’t minded the kiss but he still wasn’t sure if it was only because it had served to get them the result they wanted or because of something more completely different. He was glad Kangin was so accepting and so willing to stand up to people who weren’t, whether it be for his kids or his friends.

“God, that man just made me so angry!” Kangin exclaimed after a while, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. The anger was still present and he doubted it would go away for a long time, but he felt somewhat better now that he knew he had given the teacher a piece of his mind. He would work hard to get the man fired, if only because he didn’t trust him to actually do his job properly. It might have been slightly abusing the power he had gained from donating to the school but frankly, he didn’t care in this situation. When it came to his sons he would do anything, but this was no longer just about Donghae and Hyukjae. If the teacher had done nothing to help them, chances were he would do nothing to help the next kid who experienced bullying because of an unconventional family background.

“Me too,” Leeteuk agreed softly, eyes unseeing as he stared out the window while trying to sort out his racing thoughts.

 

 

Once home again they were relieved to hear the sound of the twins and Siwon playing in the play room. It seemed as if they were playing some kind of mutant race with cars and a lot of sound effects, but it was hard to mind the noise when it meant the twins had recovered enough from their horrible first day of school to play with their brother.

“I’ll just go check on Wookie,” Leeteuk said when Kangin went towards the play room to check on the boys. Ryeowook should be up by now and since Henry was not to be heard in the play room he had a feeling he would find them together. When he entered the kitchen he was greeted with a happy looking Henry with an equally happy looking Ryeowook on his arm.

“Umma~” The toddler sang when he saw his umma and waved his arms in greeting but made no move to show that he didn’t want to stay on Henry’s arm.

“Hey there!” Henry greeted with a wide smile. “You have to hear what Wookie can say! Can you say what we practised, Wookie?” he asked the toddler with great enthusiasm.

A very concentrated expression crossed Ryeowook’s face for a moment as he tried to remember the words. “Uncle Henwie Wookie fawrit!” he then exclaimed loudly, looking at his umma with a proud expression.

Leeteuk couldn’t help but laugh. “Did Uncle Henry teach you that?” Leeteuk asked in amusement as he went over to the two and took Ryeowook from Henry when the toddler stretched his arms out towards him. Ryeowook nodded his head with a wide grin, seemingly extremely proud at what his Uncle Henry had taught him. “You’re a bad influence on the kids, Henry-ah,” Leeteuk laughed. Henry pouted and was about to protest but was interrupted by Ryeowook who let out a small fart and then started to giggle uncontrollably.

“Wookie fart!” he giggled, extremely amused by the sound his rear end had produced.

“I think we will go to the toilet and do some potty training, then,” Leeteuk said with a little smile as he headed towards the bathroom with Ryeowook still on his arm.

 

 

While Donghae and Siwon were playing with each other, Hyukjae and Kangin were reading a book when Ryeowook and Leeteuk joined them again. Henry was talking on the phone in the hall, most likely with Kyuhyun.

“Hyukkie pway Wookie!” the toddler demanded as soon as he wobbled into the room and saw his older brother. Hyukjae gave a wide gummy smile before leaving his dad to make his way over to his baby brother who had quickly waddled over to a box filled with various plastic animals.

Siwon and Donghae were having some kind of drawing contest on the floor beside the coffee table. As the oldest, Siwon set the rules and told Donghae to draw a big cross so the paper was split in four. Then they took turns to decide what they should draw in each box and in the end they would switch papers and grade each drawing. None of them was good enough at maths to actually add the numbers together and find a winner but they had great fun anyway.

“If you are the shark then I am the donkey,” Hyukjae instructed enthusiastically, handing the plastic shark to his little brother. He knew that Ryeowook wasn’t that good at playing yet because he was still so little but he didn’t want him to be sad because nobody wanted to play with him so he did his best to include the toddler as much as he could.

Leeteuk gave the room a once-over, deciding that he wasn’t needed at the moment and therefore could use his time to start the initial preparations for dinner so that was out of the way. Kangin was still on the sofa, his attention on the book he and Hyukjae had been reading.

“Now the shark comes and asks the donkey if the donkey has seen the shark’s friend, uhm,” Hyukjae looked around to find an animal suited to be the shark’s friend before his face lit up. “the duck!” He carefully placed the duck on the floor so it could be a part of their game.

“Donkey see duck?” Ryeowook asked, waving the shark up and down to imitate it speaking while he giggled. His hand wasn’t big enough to hold the shark properly and it slipped out of his small hand and landed on the duck so it fell over.

“Aish, Wookie!” Hyukjae exclaimed in annoyance; he had _just_ placed the duck where it should be and now it was all ruined.

“Wookie sowwie,” the toddler whimpered with tears beginning to brim his big eyes. Now Hyukjae didn’t like him anymore and he would never play with him again!

“It’s okay, Wookie,” Hyukjae sighed, knowing Ryeowook couldn’t help it; he was just very small still. “Look, now the duck is standing again!” Hyukjae pointed out to soothe his baby brother and held out the shark to Ryeowook once more.

“Wookie no like sarwk,” the toddler pouted sadly with a little sniffle.

Feeling bad for making his younger brother sad like this, Hyukjae tried to come up with something else Ryeowook might want to do that would make him happy again. “Do you want to read a book?” he asked.

The smaller boy nodded and sniffled a little louder, looking after Hyukjae when the older got up to find a book and then sat down next to Ryeowook with crossed legs. The toddler was quick to stand up and plop down in Hyukjae’s crossed legs, snuggling up to his brother as Hyukjae began turning the pages while reading the book. Ryeowook always liked it the best when one of his brothers read to him; when his appa or umma read a book it was always the same story every single time but when Hyukjae or Siwon or Donghae read a book to him it was a new one every time.

 

 

The afternoon seemed to give the twins something else to think about to the point where they seemed to have forgotten about their upsetting morning in the school, but all the memories and insecurities came back when Kangin and Leeteuk were tucking them in.

“What if the other kids are mean again tomorrow?” Hyukjae asked with tears in his eyes as he looked up at Leeteuk from his bed.

“Your appa and I talked to Mr Lee and he will tell the other kids to stop tomorrow,” Leeteuk responded while stroking Hyukjae’s bangs away from his face.

“I’ll take you to school tomorrow and make sure Mr Lee tells your class that there is nothing wrong with having a man as your umma,” Kangin assured, looking over at Donghae’s back. The younger twin lay with his back to the room, but Kangin wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not.

“Go to sleep, sweetie. Don’t worry about tomorrow, okay? Your appa will go with you and everything will be better than it was today,” Leeteuk promised soothingly, placing a kiss on Hyukjae’s forehead. Hyukjae nodded slowly, trying and failing to fight off a mighty yawn. Then he too turned to his side and snuggled up to the wall, his back to the room. The way the twins seemed to prefer the same sleeping position made Leeteuk smile a little. “Goodnight Donghae,” he whispered softly when he stood up again; like Kangin, he was not sure whether the boy was already sleeping or not but he wanted to acknowledge him as well. Kangin followed suit and bid the both twins goodnight before making his way out of the room first. Just before Leeteuk exited the room, he heard a small voice.

“Teukie?”

He turned around and found Donghae looking at him with huge, frightened eyes. He immediately made his way into the room again, not noticing Kangin stopping as well to hear what his second youngest son had to say to the nanny. Leeteuk kneeled in front of Donghae’s bed, making them eye level. “What’s the matter, sweetie?” Leeteuk asked worriedly, seeing as the kid was on the verge of tears.

“Do you hate me?” he asked in a very small voice.

Leeteuk felt completely astonished for a second, suddenly afraid that he had given Donghae that impression. “No, not at all. Why would you think that?” he asked softly, gently carding his fingers through the twin’s hair.

“Because I hit you and said you were a freak,” Donghae replied shamefully through his tears in a low voice, feeling an overwhelming need to know that the nanny still liked him as much as he liked his brothers.

“Oh darling,” Leeteuk exclaimed softly, quickly getting up so he could sit on the edge of Donghae’s bed and pull the small boy into his lap. “I don’t hate you,” he assured him in a gentle voice while making sure the blanket was wrapped around Donghae properly so he wouldn’t get cold. “I love you just as much as I love your brothers.”

“Even if I don’t call you umma?” the boy whispered. It was a question that had lingered on his mind for days now.

“Of course. You don’t have to call me anything you don’t want to. And I know you didn’t mean what you said today. I know you were angry and scared but it’s in those kinds of situations you have to try to talk to me or appa, okay? If you get that angry you have to talk about it, not yell and hit people. Someday you might hit someone who will hit you back and we don’t want you to get her,” Leeteuk tried to explain as gently as possible.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” Donghae murmured in a tired voice. “And I don’t hate you.”

“I know, sweetie,” Leeteuk smiled, kissing the small boy’s forehead before gently moving him to lie down again, tucking in the blanket around him with great care. “Sleep tight. Remember that I love you, no matter what.” Leeteuk stood up and made to exit the room as he heard the softest of whispers.

“I love you too.”

He smiled and closed the door quietly behind him only to almost have a heart attack when he turned around and found Kangin suddenly standing right in front of him. “You truly are amazing,” the taller man said softly, causing the nanny to blush.

“Thank you,” Leeteuk responded shyly, not daring to look up at the larger man.

“Henry and I still need to finish some work. We will be in the living room if you need us,” Kangin informed. He wasn’t sure why he felt compelled to tell Leeteuk what his plan for the night was; after all, Leeteuk officially had the evening off now and he probably couldn’t care less what Kangin and Henry would be doing with their evening.

“I’ll just go check on Ryeowook and then I’ll probably curl up with a book for the evening,” Leeteuk responded with a smile. Kangin nodded before making his way down the stairs while Leeteuk set out for the toddler’s room. He gently pushed the door open completely and slipped into the room, hearing the steady breathing of the toddler. Once beside the crib, he kneeled down in front of it and let his hand rest lightly on the stomach of the toddler to feel the calming movements that followed the small boy’s breathing.

Today had been a long and somewhat stressful day. He was tired from everything that had happened today but also extremely confused about his relationship with Kangin. He admired the older man, which he had no problems admitting. But he also felt a bit like he had cheated on Zhoumi seeing as he had enjoyed the kiss he had shared with his employer today more than he cared to admit. And then there was the whole situation with the teacher and the homophobia. It was nothing new to Leeteuk to have to deal with homophobic people but it still stung whenever it happened and especially when it affected someone he loved. Donghae and Hyukjae weren’t used to dealing with things like that and they shouldn’t have to; it had nothing to do with them. It made Leeteuk angry that people would ostracise the kids for the sins they believed their parents had committed. Just as his mind moved to the day ahead of them and what might happen, he suddenly got a feeling that something was completely wrong. He stopped and listened, not hearing a sound. That’s when he realised that his hand was no longer going up and down with the toddler’s stomach.

Ryeowook had stopped breathing.


	23. Fighting off Dragons

As soon as Kangin heard Leeteuk scream his name, he bolted up from the chair at the dinner table and ran towards the sound. It took Henry a little longer to react but he was right behind Kangin in no time. The father took the stairs two at a time, increasing his speed even more when he heard a sudden wail from his youngest son on the way up. He burst into the room to find a crying Ryeowook in the arms of a terrified Leeteuk and immediately ran to the two, frantically putting a hand on Ryeowook’s forehead to check his temperature just to do something. “What happened?” he demanded, his veins pulsing with a combination of worry, fear, and adrenaline as he checked his son.

“He stopped breathing!” Leeteuk cried, too shocked and scared to control his tears. “I was in here and he stopped breathing and I shook him because I didn’t know what to do or how to wake him up again! He just stopped with no warning!”

Ryeowook cried loudly and clung to Leeteuk. His throat was burning again and he had been brutally woken from his sleep. “Owwie!”

“Henry, can you look after the others?” Kangin asked his personal assistant. He suddenly felt an eerie calmness settle in his stomach despite the stressful situation; Ryeowook was awake and breathing now and it would help no one if Kangin joined Leeteuk in his panic, though he didn’t blame the younger man at all for panicking in the first place.

“Yes, of course. I’ll stay the night,” Henry answered without hesitation, a worried frown on his face.

“Thank you,” Kangin replied, leaving the room for a minute to get the blanket from Leeteuk’s bed. When he came back, he wrapped it around Leeteuk’s shoulders so both he and Ryeowook wouldn’t get cold on the way. “Come on, we are going to the emergency room,” he said softly and took Leeteuk’s elbow gently to lead him downstairs and into the car. Tears were running down the nanny’s cheeks in a continuous flow and he clutched the still crying toddler closely to him.

 

 

Once at the emergency room they were allowed to see the doctor immediately after Kangin explained what had happened. Leeteuk made sure to add that Ryeowook had been complaining about his throat for a while now, usually when he was eating or had just eaten. The doctor listened to Ryeowook’s chest and checked his throat but he didn’t find anything that would explain why the boy had suddenly stopped breathing. “Nothing seems to be wrong with his lungs. I would like to do some blood and urine tests to see if it is something other than the lungs if it’s okay with you?” the doctor asked as he put down his stethoscope.

“Please, anything to find out what’s wrong,” Leeteuk begged, finally having stopped crying. He was just extremely jumpy and wouldn’t let Ryeowook out of his sight, though, which wasn’t really a problem seeing as the toddler had screamed loud enough to wake the dead when the doctor had asked Leeteuk to rearrange Ryeowook a little so he could listen to his lungs properly and Ryeowook had thought he wasn’t allowed to sit with Leeteuk anymore.

“Umma owwie,” the little boy cried as soon as he saw the needle.

“It’s okay, bunny,” Kangin soothed, reaching out to hold the toddler’s hand. To distract him, he began singing the boy’s favourite song, Leeteuk joining in soon after. Ryeowook looked at his parents in awe for a second before a wide smile spread on his face and he began to sing along as well as he could, not noticing when the doctor began retracting blood from his arm. “Again!” he chirped once the song ended a couple of seconds after the doctor finished his task.

“In a second, sweetie,” Leeteuk reassured him before turning most of his attention to the doctor like Kangin.

“He hasn’t shown any respiratory problems before?” the doctor asked just to double check the information that was on the paper clipped to the clipboard in his hand. Both Kangin and Leeteuk shook their heads. “Okay. We would like to keep him for observation for the night,” the doctor informed, making a note on the paper. “Please wait in the waiting room while we get everything ready. A nurse will take you to the observation room when we have everything set up and ready for him.”

 

 

“What do you mean we cannot stay here with him?” Kangin asked the nurse, frustration and anger evident in both his tone and posture.

“I’m sorry, sir, but since you didn’t come here by ambulance this case cannot be regarded as acute. We simply cannot offer you a bed. You are of course welcome to stay in his room after tonight but we cannot accommodate you in any way and tonight it is vital that he sleeps alone so we can observe his breathing and sleeping patterns,” she explained, feeling rather terrible to be the bringer of bad news to an already stressed family. It was hospital policy but she felt extremely bad for the distressed men standing in front of her with the whimpering toddler.

“We are his parents,” Kangin argued, not at all liking the idea of Ryeowook being all alone in a hospital room. “At least let his umma stay with him,” he begged, glancing at Leeteuk desperately.

The nurse cast a glance around to check that no one heard her other than the two parents. “I can assign him a room with a window so you can check on him throughout the night. You can tuck him in and stay with him until he is asleep, but then you have to leave the room. We cannot rely on the test results if there are other people in the room with him while he is sleeping as their activities might pollute the data and make it useless,” she told them.

Kangin slumped forward but he supposed this was as good as it was going to get; it was certainly better than just handing Ryeowook over to a nurse and let them tuck him in. “Where should we go?” he asked, placing an arm around Leeteuk’s still blanket covered shoulders.

 

 

“There are sensors all around the edge of the bed,” the new nurse said, pointing out several little sensors. “They will register all movement in the bed and they are connected to an alarm; if there is no movement for longer than 10 seconds the alarm will alert us immediately. We will run the tests and hopefully have some answers in the morning,” she told them as she pressed a couple of buttons on the alarm on the side of the crib Ryeowook was lying in to turn it on. “I’ll let you tuck him in,” she said with a little nod before leaving the room.

Leeteuk ran his fingers through Ryeowook’s hair, gently whispering sweet nothings to calm the child down and make him comfortable in the foreign bed. Kangin felt his heart clench as he suddenly realised that Leeteuk no longer substituted as Ryeowook’s umma, he _was_ Ryeowook’s umma. It didn’t take long for Ryeowook to fall asleep; the entire experience had taken a lot out of him. The nurse came back and gently ushered Kangin and Leeteuk out of the room after twenty minutes, closing the door behind them. They were both grateful for the window that let them look into the room and keep an eye on the sleeping boy. Leeteuk pulled the blanket a little closer around him for comfort. Of all the days this could have happened, it happened today, where so much had already happened. He felt like crying from the emotional stress; he was exhausted but he knew he would most likely not be able to sleep at all. He jumped a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at Kangin as the older man gently turned him a little before pulling him into his arms. He sighed softly and turned his head so it was resting on Kangin’s broad shoulder though still allowing him to see Ryeowook through the window. He could practically feel the comfort and consolation wash over him.

“I’m so glad you were with him,” Kangin whispered as he rested his head on top of Leeteuk’s, his emotions finally catching up with him as delayed fear ran through his system. He knew it was okay to be weak in front of Leeteuk and so he did nothing to stop the tears that began rolling down his cheeks slowly, ending their journey in Leeteuk’s hair.

The younger noticed the tears and withdrew slightly to make eye contact with the other. He read all kinds of emotion in his eyes; fear, sadness, relief, worry, gratitude. When he lifted his hand to gently wipe away his tears, Kangin lifted his own, larger hand and rested it on top of Leeteuk’s as he leaned into the caress. As if pulled by magnets the gap between them closed slowly until their lips met in a chaste kiss. It was just lips softly touching lips but they both felt so comforted by it that they didn’t care that they were in public and that their relationship wasn’t really on the level or of the kind where kissing could be seen as a normal occurrence. After pulling apart, Leeteuk rested his head back down on Kangin’s shoulder and Kangin placed his arms around the smaller male again.

“You know that you _are_ his umma now, right?” Kangin asked softly, a nervous chuckle escaping him that was born out of the entire situation and the raging spectrum of emotions inside him and not so much the question itself.

“I know,” Leeteuk admitted softly. “I knew the second he stopped breathing.”

“I really am glad you were there. If you hadn’t been…” he trailed off, not able to finish the sentence.

“We should call Henry,” Leeteuk said to change the subject. He wouldn’t even allow himself to think of what might have happened if he hadn’t decided to stay in the toddler’s room for a few minutes before going to bed.

“Shit, I have to take the twins to school in the morning,” Kangin suddenly remembered. It seemed like everything decided to blow up in their faces on the same day.

“If you want to stay, I can go instead of you,” Leeteuk offered, knowing that the twins would want Kangin to be there as he promised but hoping they would be able with him filling in if the situation called for it.

“No, it’s alright. Wookie will ask for you when he wakes up,” Kangin said with a little smile. He didn’t even feel sad about the truth in his words, he was just happy that Ryeowook had the umma he so desperately needed. He felt more gratitude towards Leeteuk than jealousy.

Leeteuk nodded against his chest.

“I should call Henry and let him know I’ll be home in time to take the kids to school tomorrow,” Kangin sighed before pulling away from Leeteuk to get his phone out of his pocket and call his assistant.

 

 

Henry had spent the first half of the night worried out of his mind and unable to fall asleep. He had tossed and turned, scared that something was seriously wrong with his youngest nephew. It was only after Kangin had called him and given him an update on everything that he managed to doze off into a restless slumber. His sleep was disturbed far too early when the alarm clock went off and he somehow managed to get himself out of bed and make his way to the twins’ room.

“Where are appa and umma?” Siwon asked sleepily once he walked into the twins’ rooms, rubbing his eye with a fist as he yawned.

“That’s... Come, sit down for a while,” Henry said, trying to figure out how to explain the situation to the kids in the best way.

“What happened?” Donghae asked, his voice laced with worry as he frowned at his uncle’s expression.

“You see… Last night after you went to bed, uhm... Wookie was attacked by a dragon?” he said uncertainly, not knowing how to explain that their brother had stopped breathing for a while and was now in hospital. All the kids’ eyes widened.

All three brothers shouted loudly, demanding to know if Ryeowook was okay.

“Yes, he is fine, your appa and umma took him to the hospital to help fight off other dragons ‘cause dragons hate hospitals,” Henry explained, relieved that his story apparently made sense to the boys even if it was a little ridiculous. He hoped Kangin wouldn’t fire him for being a coward who couldn’t tell the boys what had actually happened.

“But appa promised he would go to school with us today,” Hyukjae mumbled, biting his lip in worry when he realised his appa was busy somewhere else.

“He promised he will come to take you to school, don’t worry, champ,” Henry assured the older twin and reached out of ruffle his hair. “We just have to be ready when he comes, so let’s get up and get dressed, yeah?”

 

 

“Will you please explain again how putting electrodes on my son and giving him electrical shocks could potentially tell us what’s wrong with him?” Kangin asked in disbelief, not quite sure he trusted a method like that to do anything other than harm.

“Our tests show nothing physically wrong with your son so the next likely possibility is that it was a miscommunication between brain and lungs, which can either be a one-time thing or something that could happen again. Obviously, if it’s the latter, being aware of it as early as possible means we can take the necessary precautions. We cannot guarantee that he will not have respiratory problems again so we are trying everything we can think of to figure out the underlying cause. This test will be harmless for him. The electricity is at such a low frequency, if he feels it, it will feel like he is being tickled, nothing more than that,” the doctor explained patiently.

“I… Okay,” Kangin acquiesced, trusting the doctor to know what he was doing even if the thought of electrodes and electricity near Ryeowook made his skin crawl.

“We will do our best to figure out what is wrong,” the doctor promised before returning to his morning round. Kangin looked over at the dosing Leeteuk who was sitting in a chair beside Ryeowook’s bed. They had spent the night outside Ryeowook’s room, sitting in the chairs a kind nurse had brought them an hour after Ryeowook had fallen asleep. While he wasn’t happy about the stress it had caused both of them, having someone to lean on during the night had been invaluable. Despite the alarm and the promises from nurses and doctors of Ryeowook being safe, Kangin had been immensely worried.

“Appa,” Ryeowook suddenly whimpered when he opened his eyes and caught sight of his appa.

“Hey bunny,” Kangin greeted softly after he turned his gaze down at his son with a still overwhelming love. He should have been used to it by now after several years as a father, but in some moments it just hit him like a brick wall how much he loved his sons. The sound seemed to wake Leeteuk and the younger man looked at Ryeowook with a matching expression once he saw that the toddler was awake.

“Appa up,” the toddler demanded and stretched out his arms towards his appa. Kangin complied immediately and hugged the small boy tightly. “Where Kiki?” Ryeowook suddenly asked with a sad pout when he realised he couldn’t see his best friend anywhere.

Kangin met Leeteuk’s eyes; they had both had other things to think about than to bring the plush giraffe with them. “I’m sorry, baby, we forgot Kiki at home,” Kangin apologised. “I’ll pick her up when I go to take your brothers to school.”

“No!” Ryeowook cried loudly, clinging to his appa. “Appa no leave!”

The scene reminded Leeteuk what had happened in the zoo, the same panicked expression on the toddler’s face, and his heart clenched painfully. “It’s okay, Wook, I can go get Kiki instead and appa can stay,” he suggested.

“Umma no leave!” the toddler screamed, tears forming in his eyes.

“Wookie, calm down, bunny. We are not going to leave you here, I promise, but I have to go take your brothers to school. I’ll come straight back here after,” Kangin promised.

“Appa bring Kiki?” the toddler asked with a whimper.

“Yes, I’ll bring Kiki back with me,” he promised solemnly, pressing a kiss to Ryeowook’s temple before handing the boy over to Leeteuk. “I’ll be back in time for the tests,” he said and leaned down to kiss Ryeowook’s wet cheek just for good measure and then, without really thinking about it, Leeteuk’s lips.

“Appa kiss umma!” the toddler exclaimed with wide, happy eyes, already forgetting that he was crying a minute ago. Both males blushed furiously.

 

 

“What do you mean my nephew stopped breathing last night and you didn’t even call me?” Heechul demanded through the phone. Kangin groaned, accompanied by a roll of his eyes, before relaying all of yesterday’s events, including what had happened during the twins’ first day of school, though he left out the details of his and Leeteuk’s skinship.

“So now you are going to watch that crappy no-life talk to the kids in the twins’ class?” Heechul asked. Kangin hummed in confirmation. “Can you pick me and Minnie up on the way to the school? I want to make sure that teacher does his job properly. I swear to god, I will scratch his eyes out if he comes up with some half-assed bullshit speech, the kids will know that he isn’t serious if he does,” Heechul seethed through the phone.

“Chul, I have to go straight to the hospital afterwards to be with Wookie again when they run the next tests on him,” Kangin sighed tiredly. He had to admit he wasn’t against letting Heechul have a go at the teacher but he simply didn’t have time to drop them off again afterwards if he wanted to make it back to the hospital in time to be there for the electrode test and he had promised Ryeowook that he would be back quickly.

“We’ll go with you. Don’t you think Minnie will be able to take Ryeowook’s mind off of the weird place he is at?” Heechul asked, his voice shifting from angry to concerned now that they were talking about Ryeoowok.

“You have a point. I’ll come pick you up in half an hour, okay?” Kangin said before bidding goodbye once Heechul had agreed. He then turned back to Henry; he had only just made it back to the house when Heechul had called to see if Leeteuk and Ryeowook were available for a play date that day. “Where were we?” Kangin asked, thrown slightly off track from the phone conversation.

“The boys slept through the night with no problems and, uh... when they woke up this morning I kinda, sorta told them that Ryeowook is battling dragons,” Henry admitted with an internal wince. He really should have come up with a better story.

“Dragons?” Kangin asked, blinking a couple of times before bursting into roars of laughter. He was tired and worried and he hadn’t slept a lot; his nerves were frayed and for some reason, everything seemed a lot more entertaining than it normally would.

“I couldn’t think of anything else,” Henry admitted, cheeks flaming in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologise. Thank you, Henry,” Kangin chuckled once he had his laughter under control. “My kids are truly lucky they have a brilliant uncle like you. And of course I’ll pay you for last night,” he added quickly. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to use Henry as a babysitter anymore after he hired Leeteuk but desperate situations called for desperate measures.

“It’s okay, no worries. It wasn’t work, it was a favour,” Henry insisted with a smile as he shook his head to decline the offer. Kangin made a mental note to give Henry a very large Christmas bonus instead, wanting the man to know how much he appreciated his readiness to once again help his family when they were in need. He could clearly see that Henry had slept just about as much as he and Leeteuk had and he felt infinitely lucky to have an assistant who cared about him and not just about the pay check he received.

“Are you guys ready?” Kangin called through the house to make sure his sons heard him. They came scrambling with their backpacks and began putting their shoes on, having already been assured that Ryeowook was fine as soon as Kangin entered the house.

“We’ll have to pick up Uncle Heechul on the way,” Kangin told them as he helped Donghae with his shoe laces once again.

“Why?” Hyukjae asked curiously.

“He wants to talk to Mr Lee as well,” Kangin responded. All three boys’ eyes widened.

“Mr Lee is going to get killed,” Donghae then giggled, his comment making the entire family and Henry laugh.

“Henry, do you need a lift? I can drop you off at your apartment?” Kangin offered once the laughter had died out and all three boys were ready to leave.

“No, it’s fine, Kyuhyun will come pick me up in a bit,” Henry told him, waving the boys out the door.

“Okay then. Off to school we go,” Kangin commanded playfully, clutching Kiki in one hand as he marched with his sons to the car.


End file.
